Friday, January 29

What's His Name?

Names change! After months of trying to figure out the different relationships within a family, Samuel is suddenly aware that women's names change as they marry. His sister no longer shares his last name. I haven't always been a Withnell. Both his grandmothers' names changed.

Now he's getting comfortable with the idea that names change, but he's having trouble figuring out whose name changes. "When I grow up, with I be a ...." fill in the last name of a friend, his speech teacher, and others in his life. So much to learn!

An interesting side note: my maiden name is from old English and had four consonants in the middle. I've known people for many years who never learned to pronounce it correctly. Samuel got it the first time. This is another puzzle; he's a spectrum kid but he has many talents for language!

Wednesday, January 27

Guess What I Have?

Yesterday my boys and I were over at a playground that has become part of our (almost) daily walk. Samuel decided he needed to inform a nearby workman that: "I have a small intestine and a large intestine." Ah, the joys of homeschooling. At least I know the boys learned that lesson!

Tuesday, January 26

Kids See, Kids Do

Everyone knows that kids learn by imitation, but a few examples really jumped out at me today. I went upstairs to put away clean laundry. When I returned downstairs, I found Samuel eating a perfectly sliced apple. He had gotten himself an apple, then used a cutter that cores and slices an apple in one motion. (Now I wonder if he also imitated my habit of always washing an apple first?) One way or another, I was impressed with his ingenuity.

Now for a bad example. One of our neighbors has had visitors who hang around out front to smoke. Today, while I was bringing groceries in, I saw Samuel pick up one of the discarded filters and put it up to his lips. Yuck! He got a thorough lecture on the dangers of smoking, and also made me realize that sending smokers outside may not always be teaching neighborhood children the best of lessons. 

Thursday, January 21

Play Time

My boys are as energetic as ever while I have been rather lethargic. One morning, rather than working around the house, I just played with the boys. This was an education for me!

The boys have become huge fan of Thomas the Tank and have the tracks, engines and cars to go along with their devotion. As I played with them, I was pleasantly surprised to see how much problem solving is needed to get the tracks to actually hook up in the same spot or to build a bridge to cross tracks without the extra accessories designed for that purpose. The boys decided what they wanted and made do with what was before them. I couldn't come up with formal curiculum to teach such valuable life skills.

Despite Samuel's communication struggles, I was pleased to see the boys' cooperative and imaginative play. Whole story lines developed about trains coming off the tracks and needing to be rescued, and none of it sounded like any of the Thomas DVDs they've watched. In other words, the boys weren't just scripting. This is a big deal for Samuel. It's as if he's getting a chance to develop alongside his younger brother who is following a more typical trajectory. Play indeed.

Tuesday, January 19

Showing Strength

Yesterday my husband, some friends and I went to our state capitol. While we were not necessarily working on home schooling issues (to my knowledge we don't have any bills pending that would affect our schooling rights) we actively voiced our support of legislation that would protect our constitutional rights and opposed those that infringe on our freedoms.

Our state was on the forefront of developing the language that shaped our fledgling republic, so it was truly inspiring to stand in a crowd and use our right to assemble and to speak. It is reassuring that as Washington barricades itself further due to the terrorism threat, we can walk right up to the offices of our state lawmakers and tell them our concerns.

Right now, we enjoy some of the best home schooling laws in the nation. These are particularly important when teaching a spectrum kid -- some states (and even schools that misrepresent the laws) are willing to accept general home schooling but dig in their heals when considering a special needs child.

Those of you who are familiar with this blog realize that I advocate that parents get whatever assistance they believe is best for their child. If that includes services from public schools, that's the parents choice and should not be demanded by school administrators.

But in general, all rights to home school are fragile and will be strengthened only by a willingness to engage the political process. Tracking legislation via the internet, investing a day here or making a phone call there, will protect our right to seek what's best for our children.

P.S. One legislative assistant told me yesterday that they obviously have to track e-mails but that task can be overwhelming. A hard copy summary of bills supported or opposed is actually helpful and is likely to receive more attention.

Thursday, January 14

A Day For Grief

The extent of human suffering in Haiti is truly unimaginable. I have spoken of it only in general terms -- that there was a disaster and that people have been hurt -- and the kids have heard me pray for the people in that tiny island nation.

When Samuel, his brother, and I sit down again in a few minutes, we'll find Haiti on their earth ball. I had thought of using it to show them how the surface of the earth can quake, but decided that it would be a concept far too scary. Thank God I can teach them that he "who trust in God's unchanging love, leans on a rock that naught can move."

Wednesday, January 13

Story Time

We've "discovered" a new author: David McPhail. His book, Pigs Aplenty, Pigs Galore delighted all of us. What makes a good book?

I like books with rhymes so Samuel hears how letter combinations are repeated and how a slight change in sound can make a complete change in words and meanings. Actual story lines are important too, even if they're totally silly. Wondering what happens next keeps a child engaged in the story -- anyone can love stories, but few will truly enjoy the mechanics of phonics. Sadly, the latter is what so often is emphasized in child genius-type books.

A speaker I heard recently emphasized that these early reading years can be crucial for developing empathy and sympathy through imagination. Being able to put yourself in someone else's place greatly encourages kindness and helpfulness. Good books can help you feel what the main characters are going though and to empathize -- when they're scared, you're scared, when they're relieved by help, you're relieved. I think this will be a crucial skill to develop with Samuel since he is not likely to naturally be good at reading other's emotions and feelings.

Let's go find a good book!

Tuesday, January 12

Brother Can You Spare a Newspaper?

I miss my daily newspaper, and cannot understand the assertion that the computer easily takes its place. Even Samuel is used to my daily routine of reading my morning  paper with my coffee. As a bitty baby, I'd let him cuddle up with me while I read the paper and eased into the day. Now he enjoys looking at the comics and the car section while I peruse the weightier stories.

Except there is no newspaper at the moment. The Times messed up our subscription so it will be a few days before we get it again. And I'm afraid that news organization is on a steep decline; it recently released about 40 percent of its staff and stopped publishing any papers on the weekend.

This is more than a minor annoyance because newspapers all over are having a tough time holding their own against electronic media. From a technological perspective, I can understand the problem. A news producer can sit anywhere and send her story via internet to the far reaches of the world for little more than the cost of having a computer and an internet connection. A newspaper requires actual ink being placed on actual paper and someone to deliver the final product to your house.

But the internet changes how we read and learn. Glancing over a newspaper page, a compelling photograph or an intriguing lead paragraph may draw me into a topic totally new to me, one I might not have realized could hold my attention. As I follow that story onto another page, other items draw me in and inform me on a broad array of topics.

We have already reared a generation of kids who don't know the pleasure of sitting on a rainy afternoon paging through the encyclopedia. How many times as a child, might I have been looking up, say, the state of Florida for a school report and been drawn into an article about frogs, then studied the pictures of all the different flags, and so on through the "F" volume.

Its this accidental learning that I'm afraid we're losing. Am I adhering to a buggy whip, like those quaint old folks of 1910? Maybe. But anyone who's truly interested in how his child learns should be aware that the medium can shape the message and the very fundamentals of what and how we learn.

Friday, January 8

Back to Routine

We've done surprisingly well for the first week after a major school break. The kids are bringing out school materials on their own -- we had a US geography lesson before I finished my coffee this morning -- and we've been running at just about full curriculum on everything else.

Although it's been chilly, the boys have been able to spend a lot of time outdoors this week, and I think that helps. When they come back inside, they're willing to settle down and do some quiet lessons. When they can't get outside, I've found school is like trying to get an Irish setter puppy to sit in the parlor and sip tea -- it's not easy!

We had a few inches of snow last night, so the boys are heading out for a while. Let's see if my theory proves to be correct and we can get school done later .... gotta go find the mittens!

Thursday, January 7

Friends from Heaven

Samuel, bless his heart, can be a real challenge. My decision to postpone this blog over the holidays was based, in part, on my simply being overwhelmed.

One of the more discouraging aspects had been the inability to participate fully in worship. Sunday mornings were the most tense time of the week for me. We had followed every bit of advice that came our way, including suggestions from someone who had grown up with challenges similar to Samuel's. But his spontaneous outbursts and movement just couldn't be tamed.

The Wednesday before Thanksgiving, a dear friend stopped by the house. She suggested having friends sit with Samuel in a quiet room in the lower part of the church where the services could still be heard. He could learn and participate, and I could fully participate again in church.

This has worked out beautifully. Last week, Samuel worshiped with a teenager that he just adores. It sounds like Samuel is learning a lot about the service and is able to participate in his own way. Others are getting to know Samuel even better, and I don't end up physically and emotionally drained every week.

I thank God for the wonderful people He puts in our lives to help carry our burdens!

Wednesday, January 6

Writing to Grandma

Samuel has long loved typing on a computer -- you push a letter here and get an instant response on the screen. We first gave him one of those early learning skills computers and followed that with an older castoff full computer.

Now Samuel can communicate with someone via computer.

My Mom decided to send him a note via my email. I put him in my lap and opened the email in front of us, then let him write a note back to Grandma. We've had several notes back and forth already.

I get him to think aloud a bit first, but what he types is his writing. So far, the only misspelling I noted was "rote" for "wrote," which is a very logical error. He also knows how to type an ampersand by touch and he prefers that to "and." I have no idea how he learned that one because I'd have to hunt to find it on the keyboard.

Samuel's life as a writer begins.

Tuesday, January 5

Will You Be My Friend?

When homeschooling the older kids, I was prepared for the typical social arguments made against homeschooling. The public expectation seems to be that children need to be "socialized" in school, something like a puppy, I suppose. Well, in the 30 years I've been around home-schooled kids, the social argument has proven to be bunk! Not only research, but my own observations show these kids to be extremely confident and able to interact well in almost all circumstances. (Better actually -- they're typically unconcerned about age whether dealing with younger kids or adults.)

OK, now we get to Samuel. Social issues are at the heart of a spectrum kid's challenge. I've recognized that professionals can be quite helpful to me in developing strategies to work with him. And as you may guess, I'm hearing a lot that he needs to be in a group setting to learn to interact with his peers.

This was one of my chief thoughts over the holidays. One conclusion I've reached is that Samuel is developing quite normally for a home-schooled child. He enjoys children of all ages, and will go up and talk to adults with great assurance. (In a play area recently a mother warned him that her baby was quite grumpy. Samuel had both Mama and baby grinning in a matter of minutes.)

But what about peers? I'm not so sure about that one. Part of me wants to discount the experts' concern. For a child who's going to spend the next 12 years in an age-segregated setting, this peer interaction would be critical. Real life isn't like that. In churches, the workplace, and in the community, we have to deal with people of all ages, abilities and life experiences.

On the other hand, friendships are vital in life, and we are often attracted to people who are similar to us. I can already see other children showing some frustration at Samuel's impulsiveness and ability to  disrupt a group. But is this a peer-interaction problem, or the outward manifestations of being a spectrum kid? I'm still thinking on this question.

Monday, January 4

She Loves Me, She Loves Me Not ...

I finally realized that Samuel is trying to figure out relationships. He comes up to me and says: "Say: 'I'm not your mother." To which I reply: "I can't say that: I am your mother; I love being your mother!" This seemed like such a strange dialog, and he's been repeating this for weeks! Then I started to piece his thoughts together.

While reading (we just started the Little House series), he will ask again and again if one person is the mother or if someone else is the brother. With my parents here for part of the holidays, Samuel tried to figure how Grandma could be my mother and grandpa's wife -- how Aunt Mary could also be my sister. He also seems to be pondering that if a relationship exists today, it also exists tomorrow, and perhaps the next day. And then the list of people he wishes to marry extends from his brothers and sisters to me and to people he's just met.

Relationships extend to inanimate objects. Samuel just asked me if his trains could stay here at the house. "Of course," I replied. "I love the trains," he said. "They are my trains."

Samuel is blessed to have very stable relationships around him. Still, it's a lot to figure out.