Teaching a Spectrum Kid UPDATED

Hey Mom, What is This?

2011-11-29T10:41:00.000-05:00

The Wall Street Journal this morning reports the latest in math education: teach math concepts to preschoolers and kindergarteners rather than simple skills like number recognition. To me, this is another example of trying to overcome the weakness of placing young children in an incredibly sterile environment.

Because children are not in a working home, they miss the opportunity to easily learn from the world around them. Educators have to make up for this by creating pseudo learning experiences rather than the tangible, imitative learning that is most natural to children.

Let me give you an example of the latter. We missed a fair amount of planned lessons with family in town and the Thanksgiving break. But in that time, Samuel began to learn percentages, the difference between the Fahrenheit and Celsius temperature scales and adding fractions.

The percentages came from pursuing a few toys sales. What does this mean, 40 percent off? Well, a few snips with the scissors and I had 10 strips of paper and could visually show him the difference between the whole, 100 percent, and a portion of that, 60 percent.

The temperature scales came from his looking at a thermometer on the fish tank which gives both. Why does it say 27 C? A brief explanation and a few examples of typical winter and summer temperatures and Samuel began to grasp the idea of different measuring systems.

The fractions came from the ubiquitous cookies. (I'm convinced my kids will grow up thinking that "cookie" is a formal mathematical term since we use it in so many examples: you have a pile of 3 cookies here and 5 cookies here; which one would you rather have, which one is greater?) A question about halves -- can you have three halves? -- quickly led to a few paper cookies cut in half and examples of adding up fractional parts to make wholes.

By homeschooling, we can take advantage of a child's natural curiosity whether or not we are working through a set curriculum. Even better, the child doesn't have to wait until he's back in a "learning environment" to explore the concept again. If I find water on the floor, I can be sure the boys have dragged out my cup measures and gallon pitcher to re-enact the measuring exercises we did last year.

Education at its finest.

2011-11-28T09:09:00.000-05:00

OK, we've hit Monday morning with a thud. After having grandparents visiting and the Thanksgiving holiday, our schedule has been uneven for weeks. Both events were wonderful for the kids, but difficult for homeschooling. So, now I have to get back to full curriculum after moving ahead in some classes while lagging completely in others.

One thing that has continued: Samuel shows a natural talent for math. He has been asking questions regarding fractions and percentages. I find ways to illustrate the concept (cutting up circles in one case so he could see that three halves equal 1 and 1 half) and find he quickly grasps the concept. I suppose that is the foundation for any schooling at home -- taking the opportunities as they come.

Older Autism

2011-11-11T13:07:00.002-05:00

I've been asked about autism in adults. While my interest has been directed toward children, I can share bits and pieces I've learned over the years.

First, autism is generally first recognized in children. It is unlikely that the disorder develops later in life, but hits at a critical age when children are developing language and social skills.

The spectrum of disorders are now far more likely recognized in educational and medical circles. Before about 1980, autism was generally recognized as an acute disorder. So instead of being considered a spectrum kid, Samuel likely would have been labeled a "late bloomer" and a disruptive child. With our expanding knowledge regarding autism, more children are recognized to be on the spectrum at an earlier age.

That said, it is likely that folks older than about 30, may have gone un- (or miss-) diagnosed as children. Sadly, many were considered mentally unstable and even if diagnosed, unable to be handled outside of an institutional setting. (Temple Grandin's story is sadly typical of the 1950s. Without her mother's intevention, great talent would have been lost.)

I think it unlikely, that an adult would be severely autistic without someone having recognized a problem at an earlier age. However, a milder form, or Aspergers, may will have been missed. In trying to "diagnose" after the fact, family memory is likely the best guide. If others remember that a person was slow to start talking, made few friends, or was generally considered "weird," current autistic behaviors may well have been a life-long challenge.

You Shall Teach Them

2011-11-02T09:16:00.000-04:00

Yesterday at lunch, our youngest observed that the crackers he ate looked like the bread our church uses for communion. I told the boys about matzoh and its use in the Old Testament during Passover. We talked at length about God passing over and protecting the little ones of Israel. That led to discussions about God's people and about worshiping in the way God prescribes.

This is the very essence of why we home school. This is why our family embraced the challenge of educating an autistic child. Yes, having a Christ-centered curriculum keeps a child's worldview intact, not dividing the "religious" from the "secular." But the real importance comes in these day-to-day interactions when a child's questions lead right into the heart of our faith.

When we contact the local school board regarding our decision to home school, we cite such scriptures as Deuteronomy 11:19: "You shall teach them [God's laws] to your sons, talking of them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road and when you lie down and when you rise up."

Quite frankly, the responsibility of this scares me. But I am delighted to see God working this out in our home, to see how He is working in my children's hearts to ask the questions and to discuss my responses.

October 31, 1517

2011-10-30T14:06:00.000-04:00

"...we will not fear for God has will His truth to triumph through us."

These words, part of Martin Luther's A Mighty Fortress is Our God, always catch my eye and ear. This is particularly true given the number of people who suffered great hardship to stand for the truth of the Bible during the Reformation. Let's take the time to remember them this eve of Reformation Day.

Let it .... what?

2011-10-28T16:24:00.000-04:00

We have snow in the forecast!?! We typically get our first snow around the first weekend of December, and here we haven't started November. Samuel has figured out that I have not purchased winter boots yet and has been rather miffed. My boys really like those suede boot with fleece lining, but they wear right through them even when I purchased a better brand last year. I guess this is our wake up call for winter. I'm hoping the weather doesn't interfere with our plans for a Reformation Day celebration on Sunday.

Math in Fact

2011-10-27T13:11:00.001-04:00

I don't know why I didn't think of this a million years ago. If we do our math speed drill last, Samuel has plenty of motivation to move rapidly through the problems so he's done with school for the day!

We have pages of simple additional, subtraction, multiplication, and division problems. The idea is to get the student to where he doesn't have to stop and remember each math fact -- it comes to mind naturally and rapidly. "Rote" learning is not popular these days in education circles, but for math, it is important.

This proved itself recently for our second oldest daughter. Esther had an accounting exam in a college class, and she forgot her calculator. Taking the test later was not an option. So she sat there and did all the calculations by hand taking advantage of the speed and accuracy she'd gained doing speed drills all those years ago!

Natural Learning

2011-10-25T14:15:00.003-04:00

Any home school reflects its own family. I don't just mean values with an upper case V, but the interests that develop within a particular home. This specialized knowledge adds depth and dimension to a home program. Since my background includes work with the US Forest Service, birds, trees and snakes are a comfortable part of our school

Our oldest daughter had a great field botany class in college. So each year in early spring, she takes the boys and me on a hike over at Balls Bluff, a park that overlooks the Potomac River. We hunt for ephemeral flowers, the ones like trout lily, wild ginger, and trillium that take advantage of the sun that reaches the forest floor before the trees leaf out.

I made the photo at the top of this blog last spring during our flower hike. The boys mostly ran around enjoying the fresh air, splashing in (cold!) creeks and climbing over fallen logs. But they also began to develop the ground work for knowing and appreciating the tiniest flowers and plants.

A Sunday Rest ...

2011-10-23T19:19:00.000-04:00

... the calm before a busy school week.

Making a Diamond

2011-10-21T10:37:00.001-04:00

If I could get one message across to professionals who treat autism it is this: you are treating an entire family. Listen to moms and dads when they say they need help. When a professional treats the child, he clearly has to make decisions in the best interests of the child, but those benefits will be counter-acted if the treatment does not reduce the stress in the house as a whole.

The stresses are very real, particularly for the mothers. I have included a link here for an article that draws from research involving all members of a family with a spectrum kid. And if you are homeschooling (a factor, to my knowledge, that's not included in this research) these stresses are multiplied.

Ultimately, my trust is in my heavenly father who cares for us no matter how difficult our days may be. And I am confident that our determination to teach Samuel here at home best assures a coherent world view for my son. But those who treat my Samuel may be providing the means of God's care, at least to some extent. Listen to the moms and dads.

On Autism and Research

2011-10-20T10:01:00.015-04:00

A spectrum kid is likely to be way out on either extreme when it comes to norms, so he would not be part of a study researching normal brain function. However, I've noticed that medical research (usually including brain scans and a fair amount of theory) flatly contradicts what is observable in an autistic child.

This morning, the Wall Street Journal featured a study regarding the ability for teens' intelligence to change over time. While its premise challenges the long-held tenet that intelligence is fixed, my interest is the function researchers have assigned to parts of the brain. In this case, they are associating the left motor cortex not only with speech, but also with what is tested and characterized as verbal ability. Standardized tests for verbal abilities includes reading, spelling and the ability to analyze language either for content or structure.

Here's where research does not seem to meet the ground of reality. I too assumed that Samuel would have difficulty with language arts. He had been rated as significantly deficient in all areas of communication -- the ability to express himself, respond to what others say, and use language in a socially-appropriate context.

However, Samuel has done exceptionally well in reading and is extremely observant about words. In reading if he hears a new word, he'll take a moment to examine it before we may continue. He'll remember not only its meaning and usage, but its spelling too. Yesterday he corrected my spelling! His reading continues to outpace his "normal" peers by several grade levels. Remember that reading evaluation includes the ability to comprehend, not just the ability to recognize words.

What I'm saying is that he has been definitely tested as having significant speech delays, but these challenges have not affected his verbal intelligence. It's likely that an autistic child's brain is "wired" differently, but that doesn't account for data that attaches capability to a brain part that cannot be verified in even a small subset of people.

With Thanksgiving

2011-10-19T11:52:00.000-04:00

I've been emailing with someone who makes me realize just how much God has blessed us. While days with my boys may be difficult, He has tenderly sustained us with benefits unknown in many places.

I am incredibly grateful for my church, Bethel Presbyterian and the teaching, fellowship, and encouragement it has consistently provided. I've written previously about how the women helped us get Samuel accustomed to sitting through the worship services.

While Samuel clearly has many challenges, he also is rich with capabilities and has been spared many of the effects of autism. He drives me crazy some days, but generally greets the world with friendly optimism.

We are within easy driving distance of some of the finest medical institutions. While we have no specific cure for autism, Samuel has been able to receive excellent occupational and speech therapy. He has also recently been extensively evaluated, which I'll discuss in another post.

Slip Sliding Away

2011-10-18T19:56:00.001-04:00

Have Samuel go down a fast waterslide? Climb rigging? Try to step across slippery logs? A few years ago, these acts would have been unimaginable.

Samuel completed occupational therapy since we last appeared regularly online. When he started OT, he had many problems including core and upper body weaknesses and difficulty with large and small movements. Because he could not stabilize himself easily, Samuel was very cautious about lifting his feet off the ground to swing, fall, leap and so forth. Over the course of his therapy, Samuel completed strengthening and balancing exercises, and Miss Nicole had Samuel falling sideways or backward into big puffy pads. He toppled over from the ground and progressed to plunging several feet through the air.

I don't think we realized how far he had progressed until we went to a water park just after Labor Day weekend. He went down every slide and took on challenges from body surfing to wave pools. He loved every minute of it! What a joy to see Samuel go!

Where is Samuel Now?

2011-10-17T19:14:00.000-04:00

I'll try to bring our situation up to date. Samuel is using third grade material this year, but home schooling is proving to be as much of an adventure as it ever has been. When I started this blog, I had no idea how our lives would work trying to home school a spectrum kid. He remains a challenge behaviorally, but has proven over and over again to be very bright and (when he wants to be) a willing learner. So how are we meeting his particular needs? I'll start with handwriting.

His handwriting remains a challenge, but he has recently been correcting himself to use a correct grip on his pencil and I'm confident now that he has the needed fine motor control. We are using Handwriting Without Tears, and that curriculum views the switch to cursive as a good time to "catch up." This came as a nice surprise as we had ordered this year's materials with some trepidation. (Cursive? The kid can barely print!) But he's always been able to read cursive and was trying to develop a script on his own.

HWT uses only 4 types of connections between cursive letters and he has already learned several. He's also quickly grasped the idea of keeping his pencil down on the paper continually. I hope this will be a big year to catch up with his handwriting. In the meanwhile, I'm playing "scribe" to him in some subjects. Why bother, given the plethora of computers? I've seen just enough about handwriting creating additional pathways to the brain to convince me that it is a necessary and useful part of education.

Changes Coming to Teaching a Spectrum Kid

2011-10-15T21:34:00.001-04:00

I have decided to resume this blog with regularity. So many options are now available, and I am hoping to make changes that will make information more accessible. So, this post is a "heads up" that this blog may change radically in appearance, but will maintain the same purpose: to provide help and encouragement to others who may be home schooling a special needs child by providing a glimpse into my family's school adventures.

He's Write!

2011-03-10T16:50:00.000-05:00

Samuel never fails to surprise me. He can make up stories with abandon! Our speech activity today gave three words around which Samuel was to make up a story. So he might be given: frog, girl, house to launch an idea. We've made various attempts at games like "I spy," and he wouldn't get it at all, and thinking about an object and talking about it just seemed foreign. He's only recently started playing make-up games that require imagination. Now I find the seeds of a writer! Once again, I'm discovering that you cannot underestimate a spectrum kid!

Of Math and Spills

2011-03-07T09:57:00.000-05:00

Hmmm, I showed the boys cups, pints, quart, and gallon measurements this morning. I think it would be smart to wait until this afternoon for them to do their own pouring and measurements out on the back deck! The ubiquitous soda bottle should make the metric measurements easy to show them when it's time.

He'd be where?

2011-03-01T10:06:00.001-05:00

This last year has shown me that homeschooling was absolutely the right choice for Samuel. While we continue a good relationship with local educators (Samuel receives speech therapy from them) we've resisted their claim that he needs to be better integrated with his peers by attending public schools.

I have come to understand two things. First, the school's goal would not be for Samuel to integrate into differing roles in society. Instead its goal would be for him to be able to do well in a homogeneous group of 20-30 kids -- a setting unlike what we find in the rest of life. Secondly, because of the slow pace of his potty training, he'd likely be in a "self-contained" classroom. In other words, he would have spent most of his day with other children who have difficulties with language and social skills. What a detriment that would have been, and the administrators advising me to do this never said a word about this setting!

The value of what I've been able to teach him during our days together will be a subject for another day ...

I'm Back!

2011-02-28T16:34:00.000-05:00

Samuel and I are still homeschooling, and I am finally back to our blog! When I originally started, I felt like a daily post was necessary. After a while, that become the daily chore, then the daily avoidance, then ... the ... stop. Now I'll post when I feel like it, or when I stumble across something significant.

When starting today, I was pleasantly surprised to see that many, many people had visited this site during my absence, and that a few followers joined in despite the older date of my materials. Welcome aboard! Homeschooling remains our focus, particularly the challenges of teaching a spectrum kid. I also hope the larger community will learn to understand this particular educational niche.

For now, the design will remain the same, though its tempting to dig into the newer design options. Eventually, I'd like to do more with the resources section.

Soon (see, I'm not promising tomorrow!) we'll see the progress Samuel has made.

Write On!

2010-03-09T08:16:00.000-05:00

Just in the last few weeks, I've seen vast improvement in Samuel's ability to color within the lines -- he's gone from scribbling over whatever he's coloring to giving fairly even color coverage within the outline. It is a little discouraging to see the scribble alongside the picture using poor handwriting to describe the scene. However, I am seeing more of a "tripod" grasp of the pencil. Both the coloring and grasp are prerequisites for handwriting, so I am hoping we are on our way. Wooo hooo!

To Heed or Not to Heed?

2010-03-05T10:18:00.001-05:00

I suppose the first line of defense for a youngest child is to scream like crazy; most assuredly, I engaged in the same strategy. When you have older siblings who are bigger, stronger, and more wily, what else can you do?

Now as a mama, my question becomes: when do I intervene? Especially when that older child is a spectrum kid?

Does Samuel keep pestering his younger brother because he can (big brother), or is he pestering him because he lacks the social skills to know he's gone too far. Since the younger brother knows he can get my attention by hollering like crazy, is he sounding the alarm because he truly needs help, or is he calling in the best reinforcements to "his side"?

Bunches of parents complain when their kids don't get along, and most probably ask the same questions about intervention. But with Samuel, we have a lot more figuring to do ....

Keeping Up Keeping Up

2010-03-02T11:22:00.000-05:00

I am really struggling to combine household work with home schooling. I more or less took fall off, letting many projects go. Now I'm in serious catch-up mode and feeling like I'm not doing as much with the schooling as I should. This is compounded by some of the occupational therapy work that needs to be integrated. Sigh.

Testing Part Two

2010-03-01T11:53:00.000-05:00

I got a glimpse of the California Achievement Tests that Samuel will take and am much encouraged. The concepts tested seem to be well within his grasp. I've also learned that several federal laws provide for giving a special needs student "reasonable accommodation" to take the test.

Among other things, I've worried that his difficulty with fine motor skills would make it next to impossible for him to fill in those little ovals used to mark answers on standardized tests. It's reasonable to have an adult fill in the answer Samuel indicates.

We've been working on reading comprehension, and I've noticed that some days he's much more on task than others. One day, I can ask Samuel questions about what he reading (or what I'm reading to him) and he answers with ease. Other days he acts like he hasn't seen or heard a word -- but I'll later hear him talking about the story and he'll easily pick it up on another day.

While taking the tests within the given time should be OK for most subjects, it seems reasonable to delay the comprehension test if he's "off" on that particular day. Giving extra time is a common accommodation for special needs students.

Nothing Is Adding Up

2010-02-25T08:47:00.000-05:00

When we started home schooling, I was rather surprised to find that math was fun to teach. It was never my strongest subject in school, but as an adult, I had gone back and taught myself more algebra, geometry and some trigonometry because it just seemed ignorant not to know these subjects.

With math, you do see incremental improvements day by day, so perhaps that encouraged me while working with the older kids. But with Samuel, I feel like I'm running through mud. It's not him! He's plenty bright enough and seems to have an analytical mind and a natural sense for numbers. But I have to kick myself to sit down and do math lessons with him. I have no idea why.

Reading, Again!

2010-02-24T12:15:00.000-05:00

While this blog is primarily about Samuel, today I'd like to focus on his main sidekick, Uriah, who has just turned four. Naturally, when we're doing school, Baby U joins in as best he can. He loves hearing books and stories and is usually on my lap as Samuel and I read.

Lately, I've noticed that Uriah is beginning to make the connection between letters and their sounds. So I've encouraged him, by pointing to simple two and three-letter words with a short vowel sound. I get him to identify the letters first, then tell me the sounds, then I help him put them together. Some words like no, on, Pa, and stop, he's seeing on his own as we read.

Of all the joys of home schooling, this is one of my favorite. To see the kids start reading has been such a thrill!

Since their Dad is dyslexic, I was concerned for my boys since it is more prevalent among males. I held my breath with an older brother, and he just plowed into reading. I was concerned there might be a link between Samuel's communications challenges and reading -- but so far, he's doing very well! And now Uriah is at the very preliminary stages, and I get to do see another child blossom with reading!

Jumping for Joy

2010-02-22T14:48:00.000-05:00

At his last occupational therapy session, Miss Nicole introduced Samuel to jumping rope. It uses a lot of energy and requires coordination at several levels; but forget the technical aspects, Samuel is having so much fun!

I don't know why we hadn't thought of this before -- perhaps jumping rope seems more like a "girl" activity; certainly that was the case when I was young. But then, boxing movies always show boxers working out with jump ropes, so maybe it really is for guys.

For most of the last week, we've had no opportunity to get into a store that sells jump ropes. Today, we finally had the chance, and both boys selected purple jump ropes. They're off to a jumpy start!

What Is Tested?

2010-02-19T08:28:00.000-05:00

I've started looking at possible testing for Samuel this spring. I often did this with my older kids to help with curriculum selection for the coming school year. With Samuel, I'm concerned we will face a bit more scrutiny because he is "special needs."

Here's my dilemma: from what I've seen so far, the tests will depend a lot on language skills, his ability to understand what I tell him and his ability to express himself. He is reading at a second grade level (at least) and is doing well with his math, science, and social studies. So how do I demonstrate that without encountering his known weaknesses?

Looking at some of the test prep materials might be helpful and may eliminate my concerns. Right now, I'm just going by online descriptions. We have a store locally that sells educational materials, so it will be worth a trip over there.

Bon (Electronic) Voyage

2010-02-18T11:11:00.000-05:00

Since I had been out of touch with my inner blog, I missed until yesterday a comment that merits discussion. It reads in part:

I do see your point about accidental learning, but, at least for me, I feel that the internet is actually a much more effective medium [than print media]. I learn so much from the internet by following random links that it actually interferes with my ability to learn what I should be learning as a college student. Often times it is in the course of researching for a paper that I am drawn to random links, especially on Wikipedia, where I learn nearly everything but the thing I am looking for.

OK, I'll cling to my old newspaper, but I do agree that the internet has given much to everyone -- and to home schoolers in particular. Ten years ago when I first started home schooling, I thought we'd be using electronic media more. Both my husband and I are computer-savvy, but search algorithms could be frustrating and the electronic materials at the time were clumsy; they often either emulated a classroom or created unnecessary impediments.

Jump forward to 2010 and I find the internet to be one of my biggest allies.

When we come across an intriguing topic in literature, history, or science, we can usually find pictures if not audio and video. Bagpipes don't have to be just a passing mention in a book, but something performed on the screen in front of us. (My youngest now wants to learn the pipes!) A static picture of pioneers making their way out west suddenly comes alive with creaking wheels, dust flying, and people struggling to dig themselves out of the mud.

We have found that some authors and even characters have their own websites with classroom activities. Our handwriting curriculum has a huge website with how-to videos, ideas, and a multitude of support. Science is limited only by my sons being so young.

Whether hard copy or electronic, a sense of adventure or willingness to explore can go a long way on the information highway!

Up Out of the Snow

2010-02-17T10:53:00.000-05:00

Ah, the wheels are beginning to turn again. My husband is back at work, and my oldest son is back at his Christian school; We were mostly at home for about 10 days after back-to-back major snow storms (one actually labeled a blizzard). We were blessed in that we only lost electricity for eight or nine hours and were plowed out fairly quickly. One homeschooling friend did not get out until yesterday since she had six-foot drifts along a quarter mile of driveway.

From an occupational therapy perspective, these snow storms benefited Samuel -- steering a sled down an snow chute in our backyard involves a fair amount of core strength, coordination, and balance especially since he has to steer by leaning. Besides, it was plain, old-fashioned fun!

I continued reading to the boys (from the Little House series) but ran out of new materials for Samuel to read aloud to me. Little House on the Prairie corresponded nicely with our history and geography because we are studying western expansion in the US.

Our big news: Samuel's little brother is beginning to sound out three-letter words! Our reading adventure continues.

Storm Snows Blog!

2010-02-08T12:51:00.000-05:00

First I was having trouble logging in to this blog, then we got blasted with 30+ inches of snow in an area that considers six inches of snow a big deal. We were amongst the thousands and thousands of people who lost power. And we're expecting another storm starting tomorrow!

Samuel and Uriah have had a blast barging their way around to make "roads" through the snow. I've also pretty much continued homeschooling both to stay on schedual and to keep little boys busy! Samuel's speech and occupational therapy have been canceled.

With the whole family home, though, I'm having a hard time finding time for this blog.

A Fact Is a Fact

2010-02-01T12:30:00.000-05:00

"Do I have fluid in my stomach?" This question comes out of left field as Samuel plays with a monster truck.

We had been studying how the body processes food. What fascinates me is the way Samuel processes information. I think whatever we talk about in school just gets run over and over in his mind and pops out over the next few days as questions.

I'm also wondering if he's checking that facts remain facts. That's a given, to you and me -- unless proven otherwise, what is a fact today will be a fact tomorrow and next week. But I suspect Samuel is testing this. It takes patience to answer the same questions over and over (by the evening, my eyes are starting to glaze over!) but it's worth it in the long run.

What's His Name?

2010-01-29T13:02:00.000-05:00

Names change! After months of trying to figure out the different relationships within a family, Samuel is suddenly aware that women's names change as they marry. His sister no longer shares his last name. I haven't always been a Withnell. Both his grandmothers' names changed.

Now he's getting comfortable with the idea that names change, but he's having trouble figuring out whose name changes. "When I grow up, with I be a ...." fill in the last name of a friend, his speech teacher, and others in his life. So much to learn!

An interesting side note: my maiden name is from old English and had four consonants in the middle. I've known people for many years who never learned to pronounce it correctly. Samuel got it the first time. This is another puzzle; he's a spectrum kid but he has many talents for language!

Guess What I Have?

2010-01-27T08:51:00.000-05:00

Yesterday my boys and I were over at a playground that has become part of our (almost) daily walk. Samuel decided he needed to inform a nearby workman that: "I have a small intestine and a large intestine." Ah, the joys of homeschooling. At least I know the boys learned that lesson!

Kids See, Kids Do

2010-01-26T14:34:00.000-05:00

Everyone knows that kids learn by imitation, but a few examples really jumped out at me today. I went upstairs to put away clean laundry. When I returned downstairs, I found Samuel eating a perfectly sliced apple. He had gotten himself an apple, then used a cutter that cores and slices an apple in one motion. (Now I wonder if he also imitated my habit of always washing an apple first?) One way or another, I was impressed with his ingenuity.

Now for a bad example. One of our neighbors has had visitors who hang around out front to smoke. Today, while I was bringing groceries in, I saw Samuel pick up one of the discarded filters and put it up to his lips. Yuck! He got a thorough lecture on the dangers of smoking, and also made me realize that sending smokers outside may not always be teaching neighborhood children the best of lessons.

Play Time

2010-01-21T16:34:00.000-05:00

My boys are as energetic as ever while I have been rather lethargic. One morning, rather than working around the house, I just played with the boys. This was an education for me!

The boys have become huge fan of Thomas the Tank and have the tracks, engines and cars to go along with their devotion. As I played with them, I was pleasantly surprised to see how much problem solving is needed to get the tracks to actually hook up in the same spot or to build a bridge to cross tracks without the extra accessories designed for that purpose. The boys decided what they wanted and made do with what was before them. I couldn't come up with formal curiculum to teach such valuable life skills.

Despite Samuel's communication struggles, I was pleased to see the boys' cooperative and imaginative play. Whole story lines developed about trains coming off the tracks and needing to be rescued, and none of it sounded like any of the Thomas DVDs they've watched. In other words, the boys weren't just scripting. This is a big deal for Samuel. It's as if he's getting a chance to develop alongside his younger brother who is following a more typical trajectory. Play indeed.

Showing Strength

2010-01-19T10:24:00.000-05:00

Yesterday my husband, some friends and I went to our state capitol. While we were not necessarily working on home schooling issues (to my knowledge we don't have any bills pending that would affect our schooling rights) we actively voiced our support of legislation that would protect our constitutional rights and opposed those that infringe on our freedoms.

Our state was on the forefront of developing the language that shaped our fledgling republic, so it was truly inspiring to stand in a crowd and use our right to assemble and to speak. It is reassuring that as Washington barricades itself further due to the terrorism threat, we can walk right up to the offices of our state lawmakers and tell them our concerns.

Right now, we enjoy some of the best home schooling laws in the nation. These are particularly important when teaching a spectrum kid -- some states (and even schools that misrepresent the laws) are willing to accept general home schooling but dig in their heals when considering a special needs child.

Those of you who are familiar with this blog realize that I advocate that parents get whatever assistance they believe is best for their child. If that includes services from public schools, that's the parents choice and should not be demanded by school administrators.

But in general, all rights to home school are fragile and will be strengthened only by a willingness to engage the political process. Tracking legislation via the internet, investing a day here or making a phone call there, will protect our right to seek what's best for our children.

P.S. One legislative assistant told me yesterday that they obviously have to track e-mails but that task can be overwhelming. A hard copy summary of bills supported or opposed is actually helpful and is likely to receive more attention.

A Day For Grief

2010-01-14T12:37:00.000-05:00

The extent of human suffering in Haiti is truly unimaginable. I have spoken of it only in general terms -- that there was a disaster and that people have been hurt -- and the kids have heard me pray for the people in that tiny island nation.

When Samuel, his brother, and I sit down again in a few minutes, we'll find Haiti on their earth ball. I had thought of using it to show them how the surface of the earth can quake, but decided that it would be a concept far too scary. Thank God I can teach them that he "who trust in God's unchanging love, leans on a rock that naught can move."

Story Time

2010-01-13T10:05:00.002-05:00

We've "discovered" a new author: David McPhail. His book, Pigs Aplenty, Pigs Galore delighted all of us. What makes a good book?

I like books with rhymes so Samuel hears how letter combinations are repeated and how a slight change in sound can make a complete change in words and meanings. Actual story lines are important too, even if they're totally silly. Wondering what happens next keeps a child engaged in the story -- anyone can love stories, but few will truly enjoy the mechanics of phonics. Sadly, the latter is what so often is emphasized in child genius-type books.

A speaker I heard recently emphasized that these early reading years can be crucial for developing empathy and sympathy through imagination. Being able to put yourself in someone else's place greatly encourages kindness and helpfulness. Good books can help you feel what the main characters are going though and to empathize -- when they're scared, you're scared, when they're relieved by help, you're relieved. I think this will be a crucial skill to develop with Samuel since he is not likely to naturally be good at reading other's emotions and feelings.

Let's go find a good book!

Brother Can You Spare a Newspaper?

2010-01-12T10:48:00.000-05:00

I miss my daily newspaper, and cannot understand the assertion that the computer easily takes its place. Even Samuel is used to my daily routine of reading my morning paper with my coffee. As a bitty baby, I'd let him cuddle up with me while I read the paper and eased into the day. Now he enjoys looking at the comics and the car section while I peruse the weightier stories.

Except there is no newspaper at the moment. The Times messed up our subscription so it will be a few days before we get it again. And I'm afraid that news organization is on a steep decline; it recently released about 40 percent of its staff and stopped publishing any papers on the weekend.

This is more than a minor annoyance because newspapers all over are having a tough time holding their own against electronic media. From a technological perspective, I can understand the problem. A news producer can sit anywhere and send her story via internet to the far reaches of the world for little more than the cost of having a computer and an internet connection. A newspaper requires actual ink being placed on actual paper and someone to deliver the final product to your house.

But the internet changes how we read and learn. Glancing over a newspaper page, a compelling photograph or an intriguing lead paragraph may draw me into a topic totally new to me, one I might not have realized could hold my attention. As I follow that story onto another page, other items draw me in and inform me on a broad array of topics.

We have already reared a generation of kids who don't know the pleasure of sitting on a rainy afternoon paging through the encyclopedia. How many times as a child, might I have been looking up, say, the state of Florida for a school report and been drawn into an article about frogs, then studied the pictures of all the different flags, and so on through the "F" volume.

Its this accidental learning that I'm afraid we're losing. Am I adhering to a buggy whip, like those quaint old folks of 1910? Maybe. But anyone who's truly interested in how his child learns should be aware that the medium can shape the message and the very fundamentals of what and how we learn.

Back to Routine

2010-01-08T09:36:00.000-05:00

We've done surprisingly well for the first week after a major school break. The kids are bringing out school materials on their own -- we had a US geography lesson before I finished my coffee this morning -- and we've been running at just about full curriculum on everything else.

Although it's been chilly, the boys have been able to spend a lot of time outdoors this week, and I think that helps. When they come back inside, they're willing to settle down and do some quiet lessons. When they can't get outside, I've found school is like trying to get an Irish setter puppy to sit in the parlor and sip tea -- it's not easy!

We had a few inches of snow last night, so the boys are heading out for a while. Let's see if my theory proves to be correct and we can get school done later .... gotta go find the mittens!

Friends from Heaven

2010-01-07T09:14:00.000-05:00

Samuel, bless his heart, can be a real challenge. My decision to postpone this blog over the holidays was based, in part, on my simply being overwhelmed.

One of the more discouraging aspects had been the inability to participate fully in worship. Sunday mornings were the most tense time of the week for me. We had followed every bit of advice that came our way, including suggestions from someone who had grown up with challenges similar to Samuel's. But his spontaneous outbursts and movement just couldn't be tamed.

The Wednesday before Thanksgiving, a dear friend stopped by the house. She suggested having friends sit with Samuel in a quiet room in the lower part of the church where the services could still be heard. He could learn and participate, and I could fully participate again in church.

This has worked out beautifully. Last week, Samuel worshiped with a teenager that he just adores. It sounds like Samuel is learning a lot about the service and is able to participate in his own way. Others are getting to know Samuel even better, and I don't end up physically and emotionally drained every week.

I thank God for the wonderful people He puts in our lives to help carry our burdens!

Writing to Grandma

2010-01-06T12:08:00.000-05:00

Samuel has long loved typing on a computer -- you push a letter here and get an instant response on the screen. We first gave him one of those early learning skills computers and followed that with an older castoff full computer.

Now Samuel can communicate with someone via computer.

My Mom decided to send him a note via my email. I put him in my lap and opened the email in front of us, then let him write a note back to Grandma. We've had several notes back and forth already.

I get him to think aloud a bit first, but what he types is his writing. So far, the only misspelling I noted was "rote" for "wrote," which is a very logical error. He also knows how to type an ampersand by touch and he prefers that to "and." I have no idea how he learned that one because I'd have to hunt to find it on the keyboard.

Samuel's life as a writer begins.

Will You Be My Friend?

2010-01-05T08:21:00.000-05:00

When homeschooling the older kids, I was prepared for the typical social arguments made against homeschooling. The public expectation seems to be that children need to be "socialized" in school, something like a puppy, I suppose. Well, in the 30 years I've been around home-schooled kids, the social argument has proven to be bunk! Not only research, but my own observations show these kids to be extremely confident and able to interact well in almost all circumstances. (Better actually -- they're typically unconcerned about age whether dealing with younger kids or adults.)

OK, now we get to Samuel. Social issues are at the heart of a spectrum kid's challenge. I've recognized that professionals can be quite helpful to me in developing strategies to work with him. And as you may guess, I'm hearing a lot that he needs to be in a group setting to learn to interact with his peers.

This was one of my chief thoughts over the holidays. One conclusion I've reached is that Samuel is developing quite normally for a home-schooled child. He enjoys children of all ages, and will go up and talk to adults with great assurance. (In a play area recently a mother warned him that her baby was quite grumpy. Samuel had both Mama and baby grinning in a matter of minutes.)

But what about peers? I'm not so sure about that one. Part of me wants to discount the experts' concern. For a child who's going to spend the next 12 years in an age-segregated setting, this peer interaction would be critical. Real life isn't like that. In churches, the workplace, and in the community, we have to deal with people of all ages, abilities and life experiences.

On the other hand, friendships are vital in life, and we are often attracted to people who are similar to us. I can already see other children showing some frustration at Samuel's impulsiveness and ability to disrupt a group. But is this a peer-interaction problem, or the outward manifestations of being a spectrum kid? I'm still thinking on this question.

She Loves Me, She Loves Me Not ...

2010-01-04T12:16:00.000-05:00

I finally realized that Samuel is trying to figure out relationships. He comes up to me and says: "Say: 'I'm not your mother." To which I reply: "I can't say that: I am your mother; I love being your mother!" This seemed like such a strange dialog, and he's been repeating this for weeks! Then I started to piece his thoughts together.

While reading (we just started the Little House series), he will ask again and again if one person is the mother or if someone else is the brother. With my parents here for part of the holidays, Samuel tried to figure how Grandma could be my mother and grandpa's wife -- how Aunt Mary could also be my sister. He also seems to be pondering that if a relationship exists today, it also exists tomorrow, and perhaps the next day. And then the list of people he wishes to marry extends from his brothers and sisters to me and to people he's just met.

Relationships extend to inanimate objects. Samuel just asked me if his trains could stay here at the house. "Of course," I replied. "I love the trains," he said. "They are my trains."

Samuel is blessed to have very stable relationships around him. Still, it's a lot to figure out.

Christmas Break

2009-12-07T14:02:00.000-05:00

This may not be a smart thing do do with a blog, but I will be taking a break until after the start of the New Year. May Christ richly bless you as we celebrate His birth!

A "Reality" Show

2009-12-03T08:43:00.000-05:00

This video from Joni and Friends describes some aspects of my life very well, particularly when it mentions that having a spectrum kid come into the room is like throwing a spoon into a running blender. I also appreciated the description of how challenging it can be for a Type A personality to interact with a spectrum kid. By golly, I've got things to do and a schedule to keep, so this time in my life is definitely causing me to learn to be more patient, to stretch and to grow!

Gotta Get Back to Work

2009-12-02T08:34:00.000-05:00

I didn't mean to disappear out of the blogsphere -- we've had out-of-town family in for the US Thanksgiving holiday. Samuel has had the opportunity to interact with more people, but my writing dropped way down in priority. Everyone was sad to see Grandma and Grandpa leave ...

Preparing to be Thankful

2009-11-20T16:20:00.000-05:00

Three pie crusts, apple pie filling, and a mashed potato casserole all went into the freezer today for Thanksgiving. I also seasoned and toasted crumbs for the stuffing. I'm hoping to keep next week from being so crazy! I'd like to keep up with math and reading through next week; in the past, I've enjoyed taking Thanksgiving week off from homeschooling, but then it's so hard to get going again!

Singing in the Rain

2009-11-19T12:58:00.000-05:00

My little guys are out playing in the rain. Well, not an all-out downpour, it is more of a mist. My inspiration came from the occupational therapist we saw Monday. She suggested giving Samuel times where he can play with something that mushes.

Some time ago, to save my garden beds and pots, I filled up a long container with sand and the little guys are allowed to play in that. Well, that meets my definition of mushy. With everything already wet, I would not normally have had them go outside today. But if it helps Samuel, why not?

We are supposed to get full showers, and even thunderstorms later, so I finished most of school this morning, gave the boys an early lunch, then sent them out back. A good session of playing in the sand, and running up and down the yard with their trucks, should burn off some of their boundless energy and their desire to get into "stuff."

Besides, they need a bath this afternoon anyway.

Talking to Himself?

2009-11-18T17:34:00.000-05:00

Samuel's speech teacher is considering putting him by himself while she works with him. I understand her dilemma: if he is too much of a distraction, the other kids can't benefit from her sessions. But, if he's in with other kids, she can assist with peer interactions. I told her I'd support whatever decision she makes -- I understand Samuel can be quite demanding and trust her to do right by all the kids involved.

A New Start

2009-11-17T08:51:00.000-05:00

Samuel's new occupational therapy sessions look so promising! He had such fun rolling, climbing, throwing, and balancing. Best of all, the therapist is very in tune with what he needs for speech, gently correcting and encouraging him to use the right phrases and sentence structures.

I'm appreciating that Samuel likes to be challenged -- he becomes so enthusiastic, grinning and really concentrating on the situation. It's infectious! I found myself with an ear-to-ear smile just watching. Already, I can see some adaptations we can make during school -- something as simple as flopping down on our bellies to read will work his shoulder and core muscles.

We are hugely blessed to have so many good medical resources around us. I'd dearly love to live out in the middle of nowhere. But living here means my baby gets what he needs!

Samuel's No Organization Man

2009-11-16T14:20:00.000-05:00

Everything gets scheduled on Mondays and Wednesdays! We will start occupational therapy today (Monday) which is also one of Samuel's speech therapy days. Yesterday, the fella who has offered to teach Samuel piano offered to do so, you guessed it, on Mondays.

Meanwhile, I'm finding it hard to get any regular school work done. In the past, our family has successfully used a four -day week schedule from time to tine in the younger grades. But I'd still have to deal with Wednesdays when Samuel has speech, and in the afternoons, both boys have an excellent opportunity to get together with other kids.

I guess the most telling question will be whether or not Samuel progresses in his academic skills this school year. In my viewpoint, reading is the most critical skill to develop now, and he's making great progress there. Same with the broad "language arts" of spelling and developing ideas. Secondarily, a good foundation in numeracy needs to be developed, and that's coming along too.

Usually we've developed more of a routine by this point in the school year. Sometimes we just have to keep on keeping on. I crave more organization!

It's in the Numbers

2009-11-13T12:22:00.000-05:00

Day four of potty training, three rounds of laundry, two relatively happy boys, and one frazzled Mama! This has got to work! I think I can, I think I can. Toot, toot .... sigh.

Going Dotty

2009-11-12T09:33:00.000-05:00

What Samuel does or says can seem odd, until closer examination shows a logical, but unexpected approach. In math yesterday, Samuel needed to add the numbers presented by the face of dice. Two dots plus one dot equals three dots, etc.

Well he insisted on drawing the dots in the answer block rather than the numeral. When I realized he wanted to put the correct number, it dawned on me that he was trying to answer in kind. If the problem is given in dots, it makes logical sense to answer in dots. What an interesting little mind to see developing!

Success?

2009-11-11T14:30:00.001-05:00

Samuel is the proud owner of a new radio-controlled Thomas the Tank Engine. He started out yesterday with a big T-shirt on and nothing else and went went into total meltdown mode. When he mentioned a new engine (while scripting dialog from a video) an idea flashed through my head. Put regular underwear on him and promise his choice of Thomas gear if he has no "accidents" before his Dad gets home from work.

He made it! While we resorted to training underwear overnight (and as it turned out, for good reason), Samuel has been wearing regular skivvies all day with no problem. His younger brother, meanwhile, is tagging along for the adventure. While he's had a few more mishaps, he's doing very well.

I can't claim success yet. But something tells me we are on our way. So often when Samuel is ready for a new skill, he just blooms when he succeeds. Over the last two days, I've seen that smile often!

Big Change

2009-11-10T08:08:00.000-05:00

OK, let's see how this goes. Samuel has demonstrated for a while now that he can use the toilet. He just chooses not to. So, deep breath, I've put one of my T-shirts on him for privacy, and am leaving him without his "training" underwear. When I tried, about a year ago, to simply put regular underwear on him, he simply went in his pants anyway. So far today, hysterics. Deep breath ... OK, we can do this.

Getting the Basics

2009-11-09T09:20:00.000-05:00

I recently saw a statistic that saddened me: about 50 percent of the people in Pakistan are illiterate. In my mind, that's a greater loss than missing the daily newspaper -- it means those folks are likely locked in their position in life. If you can read, and have at least some access to materials, you can teach yourself anything. You can form your own opinions about the events around you. Ideas and concepts far beyond your own village are within your grasp.

Sometimes teaching Samuel seems like an overwhelming task. But at this stage in life, it doesn't need to be complicated. The little fella needs to be able to read, write, and figure. If he gets that, particularly the reading, he will have the potential for a lifetime of learning.

At this point, I'd have to say that he is most limited by his fine motor skills -- Samuel often tries to sneak his other hand across onto the pencil when he's trying to write. But the very basic skills are developing and he will soon start occupational therapy to enhance those abilities. His reading is coming along rapidly. What a joy it is to see my boys love books and magazines as much as I do. Samuel's math is likely very appropriate for his age: he can count into the hundreds, recognizes patterns, and is getting the basic concerpts of addition and subtraction.

Samuel is truly learning to read, write, and figure. What a blessing!

When Past is Present

2009-11-06T09:12:00.000-05:00

"I shucked the corn." Hmmmm, I looked around at the pile of special blankets and stuffed animals that accompany our morning snuggle and couldn't for the life of me figure out what Samuel was talking about. "Then we cooked it and ate it."

Ah ha! He was thinking of last summer and revisiting our going to the farmers market, buying fresh corn, then coming home to prepare it. We've had to puzzle over these jumps in time before.

I'm not sure what to make of memories coming out as current. When we're reading, we may be paragraphs further along when Samuel asks about a particular word. That leaves me scrambling to find it so I can let him examine it for a moment. That might be attributed to a slow processing time, but events from last summer clearly would be coming out of long-term memory. (And Samuel has an unbelievable memory!)

Is it possibly a typical behavior for a six-year-old? I recall his older brother doing something somewhat similar, but thought then that it was his way of dealing with an extraordinarily sad event in his life.

For now, perhaps it doesn't matter. It's Samuel being Samuel. But I do try to understand what's going on with him!

Help With Reading

2009-11-05T10:26:00.000-05:00

We have someone who can help us with teaching questions. This was what we e-mailed about this week regarding Samuel's reading:

My question:

I am hoping you can help me with a question regarding Samuel's reading.

Is it possible for his reading level to outpace his underlying skills? He is doing so well in both reading and spelling, but gets impatient with me when I show him phonics. (I teach this within the context of reading -- never as a stand-alone "rules" exercise.) I guess my concern stems from seeing his language skills surge forward, then regress at times. Also, as we worked with Samuel's older brother, if he went as fast as he wanted, he didn't always have a foundation in the fundamentals (more a problem in math than reading). Too, with Samuel's personality, he usually wants to understand how something "works," and could end up horribly frustrated not knowing "why".

Most days, Samuel reads to me from a variety of materials such as story books or age-appropriate nature magazines; I read to him from a full length book that is well beyond his reading level; and he has some quiet, independent reading time. We also work some classics into the mix, Three Little Pigs, etc.

He does seem to recognize a lot of the principles -- he saw the brand Nike the other day, and following the typical rules, gave it a long I and a silent E. I've also heard him try to figure a word's spelling by saying it and applying what he knows to try to come up with the correct letters. He has absorbed end-of-line hyphenation and using an apostrophe and S for possession from our book reading.

I don't want to bore him, but I don't want a house of cards crumbling down in a few years when he'll need to be picking up more of his information by his own reading.

The Teacher's Response:

It is indeed possible that his ability to read words (word call) exceeds the underlying skills. In fact, it is not uncommon for children who are on the spectrum to have exceptional oral reading and spelling abilities. It typically indicates very strong visual memory skills. The comprehension piece is often more difficult.

My sense is that he will continue to be a strong visual speller and reader. It may not be critical to teach phonics, at least not to a large extent. It may also make more sense to teach them later, especially if you start to see a gap between his ability spell and read the same word. You may want to take a sight word approach--being able to read it, spell it, define it, use it in a sentence. At his age, a quick draw of a word is also a good tool.

Instead of a lot of time spent on basic phonics, I would suggest that you teach prescriptively--teaching the rule, etc. when you see an error, and then consider building the comprehension piece. Retelling the events of a story in terms of first, next, then, and last is important. Also naming/detailing characters and setting. You may also want to directly teach inferences, predictions, categories, similarities/differences, and compare/contrast. (I have a series that teaches these critical thinking skills that I am happy to share. It's called Think Spots.) These are comprehension building blocks. Just like I see spectrum students excel with their oral reading, these components often trip them up as they move on to more advanced text and/or reading assessments such as the DRA.

It sounds as though he is doing very well.

2009-11-04T08:35:00.000-05:00

I've been having trouble saving or posting anything ... if this will post, I'll wait until my technical guru gets home this evening. Samuel is at his whiny worst at the moment and my brain is blanked.

Phone-y Elections

2009-11-02T13:22:00.000-05:00

We have elections tomorrow, and we've been "thanked" for our political support by being placed on every calling list in the Western Hemisphere. (OK, so I exaggerate. A little.) Although we are on the national do-not-call list, that service does not block political calls, even the recorded ones placed by auto-dialers.

This makes homeschooling very difficult, especially for a child like Samuel who is very easily distracted. In a typical school day, we alternate between periods of work and play. The boys play for a while, then I gather them back in for our next lesson. Today, we had just settled down for reading -- I finally had their attention and involvement in the story -- and the phone rings. This has been going on for weeks.

Arg!

Time to Play

2009-10-30T15:39:00.000-04:00

The workmen completed our new deck today, and school went out the window. I'd been telling the boys for the last two weeks that they couldn't go out back until it was done. Seconds after the men left, the boys were out running their trucks up and down the new wood.

I recognize that physical activity is essential for Samuel. During the interim, we had been going out front so he could do his handwriting with chalk. (Making large letters apparently stimulates a different part of the brain than the tiny handwriting we do on paper and helps, in the long run, with letter formation.) He and his brother also worked out their energy running up and down the walk with their wagon.

We did get history, science, and math done today. And we should find some time for reading, which is something that I love doing with the boys any day.

Praise

2009-10-28T10:46:00.000-04:00

Yesterday, as we cut out and put together a skeleton as part of our science unit on bones, I noticed that Samuel was working really hard and did a great job following the lines while cutting. Several times when I praised him, his little face lit up like a million watt bulb. I sometimes get the feeling that I have a very bright boy trapped in a quagmire of behavior.

On a lighter note, I was baffled this morning when Baby U started asking for "bone boy," until I figured out he wanted the skeleton I helped him make.

Needing Wisdom

2009-10-27T09:24:00.000-04:00

Samuel has been so "off" lately. Even his speech teacher was shaking her head yesterday about all the computer gibberish he had been giving her. He tried to "exit" out of class -- as if he could hit a function key and make his speech class disappear at will.

I am at a loss as to how to handle these off times -- for whatever reason he seems to need, from time to time, to be more noisy and active and calling his own shots. Not unlike, I suppose, a 2-year old. From that perspective, a 2-year old has to be taught what is appropriate. The same is likely true for Samuel. I pray for wisdom ...

Putting The Spine In Science

2009-10-26T14:23:00.000-04:00

Science -- it can be a lot of fun when homeschooling, even though it usually takes some preparation. Today a q-tip became a spinal cord and pasta Os formed the vertebra; the fine motor skills needed to manipulate the pasta provided a bonus for Samuel.

This year we're using Little Otters, which is guiding us through the human body and is giving a good introduction to the life sciences. We're making modifications based on what books are available and dropping out the Magic School Bus videos that are too frenetic for us. We've loved Janice VanCleave's Play and Find Out about the Human Body.

She suggested threading empty thread spools onto yarn to demonstrate how the vertebra lne up to provide a strong, but flexible backbone. Though I'm an avid seamstress, I've not held onto thread spools. Ah, but I had the pasta Os and adapted those to the "experiment" by using the much larger q-tip to "thread" the bones.

Homeschooling refines the art of improvision!

What You See Is What You Get

2009-10-23T11:40:00.000-04:00

My Samuel seems so absorbed by what he sees. This has its advantage when trying to put something together, like a puzzle or a toy that Mommy accidentally took apart trying to install a new battery. (Opps! He calmly handled those tiny screws and incomprehensible parts to put his train back together!)

Observations have their disadvantage when something changes. Samuel has been "accidentally" knocking over a political sign in our front yard. (By golly we've never had one before, and we're not going to have one now) and is in quite a tizzy about a deck installation out back.

I face a real challenge because what we see in print does not necessarily translate to how we write something by hand. Samuel wants to take printing conventions and use them in his handwriting even though he hasn't mastered the basics yet. I've been stressing numbers lately so we can move along in math -- he's noticed that just about all typed fonts have a "closed" 4 whereas the handwritten four typically has an open box shape.

If I could be sure he would one day have neat handwriting, it wouldn't be so bad but I don't want to risk his having difficulty distinguishing between his 4s and his 9s. At least he seems to like numbers!

Feeding a Kid

2009-10-22T09:22:00.000-04:00

I doubt if any mothers in history have been as concerned about nutrition as the current crop. We hear about it before we're even pregnant, warned that certain deficiencies in Moms lead to birth defects. Doctors give us pre-natal vitamins when we're expecting. Then scary news stories get us to read labels on everything we feed our babies. Is it any wonder that people would try to blame diet for autism?

In some autism circles, you don't even need to use full names for special diets -- quick references with initials tell all about restricting this or that in the diet. Gluten and casein lead the list. Add in gastrointestinal problems (not demonstrated with hard science by the way, but certainly observed by many of us with a spectrum kid) and it's amazing we have anything left to feed our kids.

I think I understand why Moms feel this way. Food on the groceries shelves seem to be less about what comes out of the field and more about what can be poured out of the chemical vat. And that, I think, may be more the problem then certain categories of food.

In general, both of my fellas seem to do better if I eliminate the colors and additives. If a grocery selection has a huge list of ingredients, items that I can't pronounce, or certain red-flag words (like hydrogenated fats), I don't buy it. We mostly eat what I make from scratch so I know what's going into my kids.

When eliminating wheat, I wonder if some Moms feel like they're seeing problems with the way flour is processed in this country rather than the gluten? Most mass-produced flour is bleached and artificially "aged". Either of these chemical processes potentially could cause difficulty. I use flour from a regional company that uses neither of these processes.

We limit dairy because we have a known casein allergy coming down from my husband's side of the family. Even there, I wonder if some of the modern processing might be cause the problems? It's worth exploring to get the good "stuff" in milk back in my kids again.

A Day on the Farm

2009-10-20T14:05:00.000-04:00

How do you burn off energy? Especially on a glorious October day? That's a question any Mama asks, but it seems especially important for a spectrum kid.

Just north of town, we have a regional park that is a fully operating farm. The boys love it, and the outing gives plenty of opportunity to run, jump, and explore. Plus, I think it's important for children reared in suburbia to know how we get our food.

(We seem to have driven that point home. We were at the farm last spring at the same time as a bunch of school kids. When we approached the pig enclosure one of my boys yelled, "Hey look, bacon!" -- we received a few odd looks.)

We walk a big loop that's maybe half a mile. Or it's a half mile for the big people and several miles for the little guys running up and down and back and forth. I slow the boys way down as we approach any critters and have been trying to show them how to properly interact with the animals. Today, I was pleased to see how quickly they learned to give hay to the horses from the palms of their hands with their fingers back. Or I was pleased until I saw the sign saying not to feed the horses. Opps. Bad Mommy! Although the lesson wasn't entirely lost -- when I told the boys to quit, I had Samuel read the sign to us so he sees that it applies to everybody.

The boys seem especially intrigued by the hogs; perhaps they admire their freedom to roll in the mud. They also love the chickens, turkeys, and geese. I'm always impressed by the big draft horses and the seasonal changes.

Each visit, the boys find feathers and spend the rest of their outing trying to fly. A hay bale or steps discarded from an exhibit make a perfect launch site.

We will only have another week or so to visit this year. Then the farm will slip into the quiet of winter when only the geese can fly and the boys dream of the coming spring.

An "Off" Day

2009-10-19T11:18:00.000-04:00

Samuel is being gross. I know that his behavior is meeting some need on his part, but seeing him lick his hands, drool and so forth is just not pleasant. He has also been "off" the last four or five days -- much noisier and harder to placate.

We've had illness, then lots of rain so the boys haven't spent nearly as much time outside. But, they've been absolutely absorbed in playing with trains. Now that its a nice day, that's still what they want to do. I wonder if the off behavior is somehow tied to a lack of exercise?

Dangerous Strangers

2009-10-16T11:55:00.000-04:00

I'm a little freaked about an article in this morning's paper, about a stranger trying to "spank" a 7-year-old who was having a public meltdown. Others just don't know or understand what's going on with Spectrum Kids, especially if they're high functioning and just appear to be an undisciplined child.

Going out in public can be so stressful, especially if we go someplace new. We more or less have a routine for going over to the school for speech, or over to the grocery story for food, so Samuel knows what to expect. But change that routine, and a meltdown becomes a very real possibility.

Today, I saw a variation on this in my home. The boys were fine until someone came by the house to drop off some political signs. They've been going crazy ever since. My husband and older son have noticed the same thing -- that the boys behavior change whenever one of us comes or goes, changing the "dynamic" in the house.

But how is a stranger to know when he is seeing a public meltdown? And why should a stranger feel like he can intervene in dealing with a child? I'm sure the mother is mortified and the child will have an even more difficult time in public.

Odds and Ends

2009-10-15T10:57:00.000-04:00

Samuel regarding the sink drain: "it's swallowing."

While looking at a picture with "hidden" pictures, I noticed for the first time today that Baby U is picking out the hidden objects faster than Samuel. I don't know if that means Samuel is slow, but it sure looks like Baby U is picking up a lot for a 3 year old.

I saw an article testing undergraduates who were exposed to math concepts in an abstract, just learn the formula approach. Those students were compared to others who were given the same subject matter in a more hands-on, real-life approach. Guess what -- the students with the more abstract presentation did better when tested on the information. I don't know how much this applies to a spectrum kid, but it does potentially challenge our assumptions regarding math.

On Pigs and Trains

2009-10-14T11:05:00.001-04:00

Our house has been all about piggies and trains lately. First, the piggy -- Baby U very solemnly walked up to me the other day with a blanket covering a box. When I asked him what was in the box, he informed me it was a piggy. Turns out he has an imaginary pig friend, whose existence I've encouraged. Samuel has almost never engaged in imaginary play and I'm hoping piggy may teach him a few things. Besides, nothing tugs at the heart more than a three-year-old letting you see his friend.

Trains are encouraging another kind of play. Spectrum kids are more likely to play "parallel" with another child -- each doing his own thing. Well the boys have gone mad for Thomas the Tank Engine. If you have one track and two trains, the boys almost have to coordinate what they're doing -- building track together, taking turns at the switches, racing, and so forth. Even better, Daddy likes the trains too -- you should have seen the three of them playing together last night!

Does My Child Have a Problem?

2009-10-13T09:29:00.000-04:00

"No one would listen to me when I said thought we had a problem." How many times have I heard this? Parents of spectrum kids can face frustration after frustration. When do you trust your instincts and when do you accept what an initial screening tells you?

While I am primarily interested in following Samuel's homeschooling experiences, I am painfully aware of the challenge parents face when their gut tells them something's wrong, but the doctor (nurse, health clinic) tells them everything is fine.

Eventually, I'm hoping to get a website up and running that will provide resources for answering these questions and to share what has worked for us while homeschooling. In the meantime, here are a few suggestions.

First, trust your instincts! I'm presuming you are a normally competent parent and don't run your kids to the emergency room for every mosquito bite. You know your child better than anyone, and may be picking up on subtle cues that can't be fully quantified.

I can point to the day of Samuel's first public meltdown when he was 30 months old. Within a night or so, he woke up in the middle of the night caterwauling and thrashing about in a non-responsive state. I had been concerned for the previous six months because Samuel didn't say much -- only to be assured by other parents and medical folks that "some kids talk later than others." None of these things would pinpoint autism, but for me they added up to a strong sense that something wasn't right.

Secondly, take good notes -- any baby book you keep is a good start. For any child, if you see something that concerns you, make a note of it. Realize that even intestinal problems can be linked to autism, so its worth noting concerns outside developmental observations. It might also be valuable to ask relatives if others in the family had any autism-like symptoms. (Although it may not be known by name -- "Uncle Joe kept to himself a lot," might provide a clue.) Find somewhere to stash copies of reports and other information.

People who've had experience may be able to guide you. (Make some connections.) The reason I suggest this is that autism may be diagnosed by many different specialists: developmental pediatricians, neurologists, psychiatrists, and others. And you may get conflicting information among the specialists. My poor baby got prodded, poked, and scanned in so many ways that eventually I had to say, "Stop! We're taking a break!" (An intestinal specialist when down all kinds of dead ends not realizing that autistic kids often have bowel problems). I was blessed to have another special needs Mom who could offer encouragement and guidance through the labyrinth.

The educational community may offer the most practical help. Preschool and early elementary teachers have seen it all, and often get a sense for "spectrum kids" long before the medical community puts the puzzle together. That is how we first received intervention for Samuel, and we continue to adore his speech teacher.

A caveat is in order here: the right to homeschool any child with special educational needs has been upheld, but hotly contested here in the US. And understand that educators will be interested in one primary outcome: how to get your child to function well in a classroom. Remember also that questions regarding why he has difficulty may only be answered through the medical community.

The Science of Samuel

2009-10-10T17:31:00.000-04:00

Researchers have started developing theories about structural problems in the brain that result in autism. My theory is that eventually they'll find specific processing difficulties that aren't necessarily visible. (Scans of Samuel's brain look normal according to the neurologist that reviewed the images last year.)

I'm not talking sensory processing disorder per se, although that may well be a major symptom. Instead, Samuel seems to have a delay in language he hears -- but not consistently. And he often speaks like someone for whom English is a second language.

The "delay" is easy enough to describe -- I tell him something and sometimes he doesn't respond or react until a few moments go by. When I'm reading to him, he'll let several sentences go by, then ask about a word that he doesn't know.

Speech-generation delays are harder to explain. Often while talking, we form ideas in our heads and the words just seem to be ready to express those ideas. Every once in a while, we'll forget a name, or even a word that we don't use often -- then we see how the process bogs down while our brain examines and rejects numerous possibilities. What is normally instantaneous is suddenly much slower and requires greater "processing" power.

Think about being in a country that speaks something other than your native language. You spend a lot more time trying sifting through the words you need to generate the idea you need to get across. Or you stretch what you do know to cover a concept for which you have no word -- or you apply what you think is a logical extension from what you already know.

I think it is this logic and "stretching" that occurs every time Samuel talks. If you can remember something why can't you unmember it? That's a perfectly logical use of English prefixes, but if you've ever tried to follow instructions from a manufacturer who uses software for a "logical" translation, you may end up with gibberish. Sadly, that's the threshold Samuel faces as he tries to express himself.

Oddly, this is in a child that has a remarkable memory. The problem appears to be in linking to that memory verbally. Something in his brain somehow doesn't fire quite right when he's hearing words or trying to generate his own. I'm convinced he uses the strong areas of his brain (like his memory) to try to compensate. This leads to delays or frustration.

This has one confirmation. Many spectrum kids, including Samuel script (simply reciting favorite lines from movies) or display echolalia (by parroting back whatever you've said or asked). These resources are in the memory and can simply be thrown out effortlessly without all the trouble of correctly generating the words to match the idea to be expressed.

This is a scientific sample of exactly one -- anecdotal at best. But I'd be willing to bet its a good description of what's going on with my Samuel.

The Things That He Thinks

2009-10-09T10:03:00.000-04:00

Samuel gave himself a school assignment yesterday: to write a book. He had been playing with a stapler, and when I went to take it away from him, he talked about making a booklet. Fair enough, I thought, why not staple some pages together so he'd have plenty of space for drawing.

The results stunned me. He carefully numbered each page, and used a variety of printing and cursive styles to write the text. On the front he wrote, in clear letters, A Book-let, with the hyphen at the end of a line. Inside, he used cartoon bubbles to indicate spoken language and drew several people that would have to be considered age-appropriate drawing.

I'm beginning to think that he absorbs just about everything he sees -- different ways of writing, the way a book page is presented, the "talking" from Calvin and Hobbes. As he develops skills, this memory has a way to come out.

We're seeing the same thing with his talking -- as he develops a bigger vocabulary and more complex speech-patterns, he's able to share more of his memories. Yesterday, he started talking about a trip we had taken last spring. He remembered the barbecue we ate on the way down, the hotels we used for two overnight stops enroute, just detail after detail.

Oh to improve the access to that brain!

Play Me A Song

2009-10-08T10:15:00.001-04:00

When I was quite young, I remember a teacher playing music and handing out rhythm sticks, triangles and other simple instruments. For US patriotic songs we'd line up and have a parade around the classroom. One of my clearest memories is walking in front of the large windows banging away on a triangle.

Samuel loves music and seems to have a good ear for pitch. Taking a cue from my past, I purchased a set of instruments that includes the requisite triangle, tambourine, shakers, and other ways to participate. We've enjoyed our national songs (where else but at a parade or baseball game do we hear them these days?). Our selections get Samuel and Baby U moving -- or introduces them to different kinds of music.

The kids love Laurie Berkner who sings all kinds of silly songs that really get them involved (without that sickening "kids' song" sound). With the boys' recent interest in trains, I was inspired to pull together a play list of train songs, drawn mostly from American folk and bluegrass.

As I type, we're listening to Bach's Triple Concerto in A Minor -- Baby U came over as soon as he heard the opening notes. I recall one pleasant afternoon when he sat transfixed by Magnificat in D. The bigger question for Samuel will be any formal instruction. Spectrum kids are often musically inclined and we've had a wonderful friend offer to teach him the piano. Perhaps we need to follow up on this kind offer.

Words, Wonderful Words

2009-10-07T10:30:00.000-04:00

All morning, Baby U (our 3 year old) has been talking about the "crooked" or perhaps the "cricket." I think it comes from a dream he had last night, and my attempts to identify it in real life have been unsuccessful. He's had a lot of time with me this morning, Samuel got up late, and I've sat and let him babble on and on like a stream of words and ideas. Samuel later joined us for a cuddle before being drawn into his favorite train activities.

I suspect that having a willing audience and the opportunity to form their thoughts contribute greatly to children learning to speak and recognize words in any setting (written or spoken). Today's world tends to cut this short. So many their age would have been hauled out the door at 7 a.m. and put into a bigger group of kids. Usually on Wednesday, we would have been taking Samuel to his speech teacher by mid-morning, then moving on to other activities. Illness both inside the family, and out, has prevented our rush-around Wednesday, and I'm grateful.

Homeschooling provides, perhaps, the best opportunity to slow down and engage in the simplest of human communications -- the hug, the smile, the flowing of thought that isn't being rushed into a quick sound bite. With a spectrum kid in the family, this isn't easy given the number of appointments, specialists and interventions involved in his care. But I've got to find this time ...

Little Otters for Little Ones

2009-10-06T11:03:00.001-04:00

I might be a little disorganized in posting this week -- we've had some illness in the family. But that's a good introduction to the science that we are using this year.

Online, we discovered a delightful program called Little Otters.

Every little kid is fascinated by his or her body! Why do we have these ridges on our finger tips or wrinkles on our elbows? Hey, look what I can do! We've enjoyed the combination of little experiments, reading selections and activities. In all, this should establish a solid foundation for studying life sciences.

The author calls herself "Mama Mouse" and is only identified as a homeschooling Mom working on a graduate degree in nursing. Bless her heart, she gives a day-by-day schedule for working through the Little Otters Science class with your young ones.

While the curriculum is free to download, it takes a bit of effort to track down various books and videos. So far, I'd say my little guys think it is worth it!

Autumn in the US South

2009-10-03T19:10:00.001-04:00

We had a perfect October afternoon for a church picnic! I also tried to show my sons the finer points of Southeastern Conference Football. Grin.

The Morning of our Content

2009-10-02T10:00:00.000-04:00

What does a baby remember? Perhaps Samuel has warm, cozy associations with reading from infancy. As a survival tactic, I brought him and my newspaper into bed with me in the mornings. That way he could nurse and snuggle and I could read and doze until we reached a more reasonable hour to get up and start the day. When Baby U came along, we continued the pattern.

If you look around our house, you'll find tons of books, newspapers and magazines. The grandparents have both started subscriptions so the boys have their own materials coming in the mail. They hear the Bible read last thing before going to bed and see Mom and Dad studying the scriptures.

I don't think there is any way to imitate this love of reading or the richness of the environment in the home. Head Start programs likely give excellent instruction; but if Mom and Dad don't think reading is important, if Wilbur the pig and The Cat in the Hat aren't part of your growing up, you're not likely to gain the interest in reading that leads to life-long learning.

Samuel is reading amazingly well. Last night, on his own, he worked his way through Lois Lenski's The Little Train, a book which I expected to read to him. As I read E.B. Whites Trumpet of the Swan to Samuel, I know he's keeping up because he stops me every time we hit a hyphen to continue a word onto the next line. (One of those maddening details that he's obsessing over at the moment.) He has also become fascinated by the "ing" forms of verbs.

My point in all this, is that homeschooling offers a very organic form of learning -- part of the very life of the household, especially at this young age. As I make brief notes in my calendar of what we've done each day, it sometimes looks skimpy. I have to remind myself that learning takes place in far more ways than a curriculum dictates. I pray that what he remembers is far more than "short e" and ""long e" and that he carries the love and support of his home wherever he goes in life.

A Quiet Moment (Please!)

2009-10-01T09:08:00.000-04:00

A pool is an appropriate place to make noise, right? What struck me yesterday was how much more noise Samuel was making.

He has been taking swim lessons this fall with a dear, sweet woman who readily accepted the challenge. While Samuel swims, I water jog in the deep end of the pool. Yesterday, while nursing a headache, I barely saundered back and forth, perhaps making me more aware of my surroundings. Sure kids make noise in classes and around a pool, but Samuel's voice seemed to ring out above the rest.

Later in the day, my husband was late in getting home and we had to hand off the kids in a doctor's waiting room. Those few minutes were among the longest in my life -- this was at an adults-only practice with barely audible mellow music playing. Now we had noise trumpeting in a quiet environment.

Spectrum kids often make (or avoid) sensations that affect all five senses plus the sense of balance and position in space. To some extent, in settings with lots of people, I'd assumed Samuel was making noise because he was distracted and overstimulated. I'm beginning to suspect that he makes noise just to make noise. Because he "gets" something out of hearing the noise he is making, it takes the behavior beyond a simple disciplinary matter. Oh for some wisdom now (and the next 10 years!).

A Word In The Hand ...

2009-09-29T09:16:00.002-04:00

My baby who rarely holds a pencil correctly knows how to write (and read) in cursive???

OK, I have to back up for this to make any sense. First, Samuel has had some difficulty with his fine motor skills. A teacher, occupational therapist, and I have tried different strategies to teach Samuel the routine early childhood cutting, crayoning (is that really a verb?) and drawing skills. He still hasn't settled on any particular grip, but can be coaxed into the proper "tripod" grip if given a short pencil with one of those little rubber grips.

About a year ago, Samuel discovered serifs, those little extra lines used in most text type to help hold the eye on the line while reading. He'd write large, misshaped letters -- and carefully inscribe the serifs on every letter that could possibly have them.

Right now, Samuel "should" be writing simple, all upper case letters. I had seen signs that Samuel was reading cursive and was trying to write that way, but had been assuming that he was essentially drawing the shapes he was seeing. Yesterday, while working on a thank-you card, he insisted on restarting the "thank you" that I was helping him print. He went further down the page and wrote it in cursive. Then added his own note "nice" although the latter was virtually unreadable.

We have a great program for writing, Handwriting Without Tears. Incorporating this wild leap ahead with developing the basic skills he needs will be very challenging.

Love In A Little Blue Car

2009-09-28T10:49:00.001-04:00

A little toy matchbox car may not seem like much, unless it's meant as encouragement to a car-crazy boy. "Wheel-wheel" came out of Samuel's mouth long before he knew many other words. A year or so later, he was devastated when he realized that the big wheels on the "car" shopping carts are nothing but paint. His first love prompted his first meltdown.

Yesterday, as we prepared to leave church, an older woman came up and handed Samuel a little blue car. Mrs A. said she had promised it to him because he had been so good during worship services. After his first week seating quietly up front, she'd asked Samuel what color car he wanted, and he declared: "blue." I wasn't even aware of this conversation, but this dear woman knew exactly what pleased Samuel and went out of her way to make sure the little gift was exactly right.

One day, Lord willing, he'll reach the point where sitting through church will be no big deal. Maybe he'll have his own big car to clean and polish and drive proudly down the street. But for this sunny Monday, we have one small boy, one small car, and one encouraged Mama ...

A quiet Sunday

2009-09-27T16:46:00.000-04:00

I woke up from a lovely little nap and realized with a start that nothing had been posted today. Oh yes, but I was napping because it was Sunday! After morning services, we had a little family get together for my husband's birthday and ate the carrot cake that the boys helped me make. In a little while, I'll go back to be with our congregation ...

2009-09-26T14:26:00.000-04:00

... realized today that Samuel has "lost" a lot of his potty training. Sigh. Perhaps it's all the changes with the start of the school year?

On Reading

2009-09-25T13:00:00.000-04:00

About 20 years before the modern homeschooling movement started here in the US, my mother taught my sisters and me to read. She had been concerned by the late 1950s reports showing public school children having difficulty in this area. She figured she could do better and taught each of us phonics before we started school.

Perhaps long-forgotten pleasantries still fill my mind from this experience; I have found it a delight to teach reading. With our oldest son, Isaac, I loved sitting with him, taking turns reading -- sometimes I would have him read an easier selection, and I'd read something more challenging to him. In either case, I'd make sure he noticed whatever concept we were learning, short A, silent E, and so forth. He did great, but needed some encouragement in sounding words out for himself. I tried to make a big deal out of "our secret code" of reading and he loved that idea.

Samuel seems like he has been driven to read from the start. When he started differentiating shapes, I figured letters would not be much of a stretch. Sure enough, he quickly learned his letters and loved pointing to them if we walked past a sign. I made up a silly song to help him learn the letter/sound associations and soon he was doing them on his own. "A is for apple, B is for ball, C is for ..."

Late last school year, he read his first little book and seemed fascinated by spelling. With almost no prompting on my part, he started trying to remember how to spell just about any word he learned to read; Now he constantly surprises me with the words he recognizes and spells. (I must add here, that he has insisted on having the closed captioning for any video he watches. I'm sure this greatly contributed to both his reading and spelling.)

Here's the catch: he doesn't always know the mechanics behind his reading. I'm concerned that if he ever backtracks (a phenomenon I've noticed in his development) if he doesn't know principles (i.e., the long vowels, short vowels, when and why some are long and short and so forth), he may have trouble continuing with his learning. He's also so driven to understand how things work, I'm concerned he might get very frustrated if he doesn't someday recognize the framework.

Sigh. I'm trying to incorporate some of these phonics basics with our day-to-day reading in small doses so he doesn't get bored. I'm hoping he'll have the fun of reading while getting the nitty gritty at the same time. Always an adventure ...

Statistically What?

2009-09-24T15:55:00.000-04:00

I feel like curling up and crying. Seeing information written about Samuel in fine clinical language upsets me. This is so, I suppose, because diagnostic language can never capture my precious boy. (Although the occupational therapist tried: "Samuel is a sweet and happy ...boy. He immediately greeted the evaluator ...") An evaluation also puts in black and white that hey, there's a problem here. Each day, I am concentrating so hard on what he can do that it is startling to have someone tell me he has limitations.

The other difficulty is that I know something about statistics in a clinical setting. Think of a bell shape with a very narrow lip on either side. Samuel is in that thin, narrow lip edge (or statistically speaking at the second percentile) in his fine and gross motor skills. Some of the fine skill difficulties I see in his handwriting and coloring. And I understand that difficulties in controlling the body makes it difficult, if not impossible, to make fine movements with the hands.

But it's hard to see my boy in these statistics, even if this is a valued second opinion. It's hard to see the little guy climbing and leaping off a low wall today, chasing around with other little kids, wrestling with his little brother ... Quite frankly, I would expect him to look more limited given these statistics..

OK, the practical side of me comes out now. I can arrange for occupational therapy sessions through an excellent local facility. (Sigh, but that adds more rush to a schedule for a child that craves orderliness and predictability.) We can continue with Samuel's swim lessons; he started these lessons a few weeks ago when I wanted to build on the wonderful exercise he was getting by playing in the pool this summer. And I can pray to the God who made him and ask for His guidance and care for my precious boy. (His Mama too!)

A Mama's Instinct

2009-09-23T15:08:00.002-04:00

Last night I ran my fingers over that impossibly soft, almost transparent hair on the back of Samuel's neck. It reminded me of six years ago when I was caring for a tiny baby. Samuel, who was supposed to be born in late September, came along in August. He was so tiny, down to just five pounds when he went to the doctor for his first "well baby" visit a week later. The cartilage in his ears hadn't fully formed, so he had tiny, silky flaps instead. Fine gold hair covered much more of his body than what would be expected on a full-term baby.

Did I realize then that he would later be considered a spectrum kid? No, he was just my perfect little baby. But I can see where some of my instincts were already bubbling. I had read that babies nurse better if their backs and limbs are gently messaged. He loved it! So did I, and it became an important part of our routine. Now I know from research that touch is incredibly important for Samuel, and may have contributed greatly to his early interaction with me, body awareness, and other skills.

He ended up sleeping with me for a while after we both discovered that we got more rest that way. Such a small baby needed to nurse so often and it seemed like he slept longer with me. Although concerned about the warnings I read against this practice, I followed my instincts and removed all extra pillows and the comforter from our bed and taught myself to sleep on my back with Samuel nestled face out close to my shoulders.

Now I wonder if this promoted the interaction between us. Surely my heartbeat and warmth was a comfort to a child that may have already been experiencing the stress of autism. And when he started showing signs of sleep apnea, he was right there with me -- I knew he wasn't breathing for stretches of time and he ended up at the hospital.

I write this in part to give more background to Samuel's story. I also think that a mother's instincts can be a valuable guide -- nothing outlandish mind you, but sensible nurturing, trying to respond to your child.

Productive By Doing Little?

2009-09-22T13:41:00.002-04:00

Illness and homeschool makes an interesting mix. Last night, when Samuel started getting sick to his stomach, I was grateful we had taken the precaution to keep him away from other kids due to a cough. Although we did all of his academic subjects yesterday, he missed his speech session and swimming lesson and today we've done very little school.

I had discovered that he and his little brother really enjoyed some documentaries about wild horses. By watching them today, we gave Samuel the opportunity to think about a story line. We had been warned that spectrum kids can be really good at "decoding" or figuring out how to put the letter sounds together into words; but they can have trouble taking those letters and understanding a meaningful piece of information or story. While we read, I'm frequently asking him to recount parts of the story and to try to anticipate what will come next. With the horse documentaries, I could ask, "do you think we'll see the the foals next?" Or, "do you think the fire will scare the horses?"

This reminds me of years ago when I needed to have back surgery. Our oldest, Abigail, was able to work independently on her high school studies, but I had to be creative to keep her younger sister Esther engaged. So we did a unit on Shakespeare, and while I was recovering from surgery, Esther, my mother, and I watched many movies with classical presentations of Shakespeare. For a long time after that, Esther would pick up Shakespeare just for fun!

Part of me feels like, we "should" be doing so much more today. Another part reminds me that sometimes these "down" days can be quite productive after all. Hmm, come to think of it, he's looking over my shoulder trying to "decode" even as I write this!

Genetics Anyone?

2009-09-21T11:11:00.003-04:00

Wanna explain cell genetics to a six year old (of any stripe)? Especially when a younger brother is part of the lesson? We were reading I Know How My Cells Make Me Grow when we strayed into genetics. I tried to explain that God puts little messages into each cell so it knows how to make a new tiny piece of bone that is uniquely Samuel and a new little piece of skin that is uniquely Mommy.

"You know what a message is -- it's like when Grandpaw sent you a postcard with the ship on it." I have no idea if Samuel understood the message part, but he and Baby U both seemed fascinated by the diagrams of muscle cells and skin cells.

This has been one of the more fascinating sides of homeschooling for me. It's one thing to know a subject well enough to engage in normal adult conversation; but it seems like you need even more understanding to translate that information into the simple terms needed to explain it to a child. Big brother Isaac had already taught me that I need to keep everything as concrete as possible and to give a boy something he can touch and hold whenever possible.

With Samuel, the latter seems even more important. He has one advantage though: he is so driven to understand how something works he is likely to watch, manipulate, or play with something for a while just to meet that ingrained curiosity. Yes, uniquely Samuel ...

Sunday

2009-09-20T09:41:00.002-04:00

A day of rest -- a little different because we have some kind of cold/virus/bronchitis in the house.

Help From A Cyberfriend

2009-09-19T15:07:00.005-04:00

** Note -- sorry I did not acknowledge some of your very kind comments earlier! **

In a recent comment, someone mentioned "getting inside" Samuel's head. For the last six weeks or so, I've had an additional resource that has enabled me to feel like I am doing just that.

I won't mention any names here because I want to respect RK's privacy, but I have been communicating with a fella that has grown up with challenges similar to Samuel's. We "met" through another forum, and in one post, he mentioned autism spectrum. I quickly asked if he would mind answering questions for me regarding Samuel.

What a huge blessing he is! I know I'm not talking to Samuel -- that RK is a unique individual -- but it feels like I am finally able to discover what Samuel sees and feels. Even the best of experts has never walked around in Samuel's shoes.

Having Samuel sit in the front of the church last week was a huge insight: he had far less to distract him and was more relaxed than I've ever seen him in a large group setting. I would never have made a connection between his seemingly natural mechanical abilities and a very real need to understand how everything around him works -- whether it is the toy car or the rules for behaving in a library. Knowing that Samuel may look distracted -- but is really paying attention in his own way -- has been valuable for teaching him.

Thank you RK; and may the blessing you've been to Samuel and me be returned many times over!

On Praise

2009-09-18T09:05:00.001-04:00

We have been puzzled by Samuel's assertions that he is "a bad boy." He has been saying this for the past month or so anytime we correct him. This seemed odd because it's not a phrase we use. We are careful to identify the problem behavior, but we don't scold him ad hominem.

Peeling eggs today, it suddenly dawned on me what is happening. From early on, when he or his younger brother has done the right thing, we've jumped in with praise: "that's my good boy," hoping that it would train him regarding what is good and right.

Well Samuel is a smart kid. If he can be a "good boy," than the opposite is also possible: he can be a "bad boy;" and, by golly, it is sometimes easier to just be a bad boy! Something we thought had been going well, turns around and bites us!

On Chocolate and Learning

2009-09-17T14:26:00.000-04:00

My house is filled with that most wonderful of smells, chocolate! We read Karma Wilson's Whopper Cake today and then followed the recipe in the very back of the book. The "Whopper" comes from the main character in the story needing the back of a pickup truck to mix a huge cake for his wife's birthday. Now, our cake fit in an ordinary 9 by 13-inch pan, but gave lots of opportunities for the boys to spoon and mix and bake.

We have one of those Height Right chairs so Samuel can sit and write properly at a grown-up table. This baking exercise proved that the chair is terrific for helping in the kitchen. Both boys could stand on the bottom platform and peer into the pans and bowls.(Although Baby U sometime preferred the "seat" level.) I measured the ingredients ahead of time, showing them the amounts as we went along. I also told them the basic principles involved in mixing and baking a cake. ("Taste how the buttermilk is sour; it may seem funny in a chocolate cake but it helps to make a cake tender and poofy.")

Later, I went back and reinforced some of the principles in measuring liquids. I used the plainest of my 4-cup liquid measures to cut down on confusing information. I was pleasantly surprised to see Samuel take the one-half cup measures in stride. We were filling from one cup level to the next, and Samuel started correctly reading out the half measures as we passed them: " three-and-a-half cups," and so forth. Wow!

Learn In The Sandbox

2009-09-16T16:29:00.000-04:00

Samuel, at age 6, is not that aware of politics. So perhaps writing about political issues runs amok with the premise of this blog. I am concerned, though, about the gathering pressure here in the US to formalize instruction for children younger than six!

According the ideas in the news during the last week or so, too few people are available to serve in the military due to educational, physical and even legal deficiencies. So, according to these stories, we need to increase spending on preschool education.

Where are children likely to learn the self control, the ability to get along with others, and to make decisions on their own that dovetail with others? Not in preschools, nor with the prefabbed story-line toys lining the shelves. Research is showing that the wonderful, whimsical childhood years playing "make believe" are critical in developing skills like executive function that are so vital during the adolescent and adult years. (Sadly, I read of one preschool program that is having children complete paperwork before starting an activity trying to engineer this "play" thinking -- what fun is that?)

Legislation can come at parents from so many directions, including states extending the mandatory school age to younger and younger children, provisions considered by the United Nations, and even the health care reform bill here in the US that seek to extend government's reach into those precious preschool years.

Let kids be kids. And sometime in the near future, I promise to tie these thoughts into spectrum kids and their early, formative years.

What Makes A Homeschooling Hit?

2009-09-15T10:03:00.001-04:00

I've long pondered the way a school activity can capture a child's mind -- or leave him staring out the window wishing school were done for the day.

Both my little guys have been on a train kick lately, so I tried to build yesterday's activity around a train Samuel could color, cut, and put together 3-D (with my help). He could not have been more bored. I could barely convince him to color it, much less cut it out. Come to think of it, reading was much more of a "chore" for him yesterday too.

Today, while we were reading, I came up with the idea of making a town by using black paper with either lines down the middle (for roads) or stripes on the outside for railroad tracks. Blocks became buildings. The long strips helped to distinguish rectangles from the square blocks, a math concept that Samuel has seen recently.

Well, the town is a huge hit with both the guys. I probably won't get much else done with them today!

What Do I Mean By "Spectrum Kid"?

2009-09-14T11:47:00.002-04:00

My mother wasn't sure if I had explained "spectrum kid" well enough. I am enclosing part of a message I sent out to friends that helps to explain Samuel's situation:

It has been somewhat confusing because Samuel has received differing diagnoses. The easiest way to summarize is to say Samuel is having difficulties that fall on the high-functioning end of the autism spectrum, or as some professionals endearingly put it, he’s a “spectrum kid.”

He has plenty of mental capability, but his behavior can be extremely challenging. What may not seem like a big deal to you or me, can be a very big deal to Samuel – a change in schedule, choices that seem arbitrary, having a lot of people around, especially children, can greatly over-stimulate him.

I’m beginning to see that he needs to understand how things “work;” inconsistencies throw him. I’ve happened to have my hand on Samuel’s chest when he’s faced a seemingly minor change in schedule and his little heart just starts racing. The kid is highly stressed. If you have any phobias (like an unusual fear of heights, spiders, etc.), you might understand something of the stress Samuel faces. But imagine if you experience that level of anxiety every time you see a stop light (which can appear highly arbitrary to him), or if you have alternative routes to reach the same destination.

“Spectrum kids” will often find ways to stimulate themselves as a means of comfort that they can predict or control. Thankfully, we don’t have to deal with the head-banging or other injurious behaviors that are surprisingly common. Spelling was his “stim” of choice earlier this summer followed by repeating nonsense words now. (How many times can you say squamwich or spiz?)

Sunday

2009-09-13T08:29:00.002-04:00

A wonderful day of rest!

All Blessings

2009-09-12T19:19:00.000-04:00

I've been thinking today about how many people contribute to Samuel's life. Today my husband is watching both little guys, giving me a much needed time of spiritual refreshment. Tomorrow, Samuel will be in a Sunday school class taught by a retired elementary school teacher who has been a great encouragement to us and who has been able to offer valuable insights. We've had various assistance from the educational community, including including those who have taken a personal interest in Samuel.Then there are the friends who pray for him, share encouraging stories, and cheer us on. God has brought just the right people along at just the right time both for Samuel, for me, and for our family!

Something To Talk About

2009-09-11T19:37:00.000-04:00

Here's my major learning for the week: bring on one "new" thing at a time. I'm thinking it might be helpful to get routines thoroughly established for each new activity, before adding anything else to the schooling schedule. I've talked before about being somewhat slow at getting up to "full curriculum" just as a matter of sanity in a homeschooling family, but with Samuel, I''m thinking it will be critical to move very slowly. He and I both had a pretty rough week.

Next week, he will start seeing his much adored Ms. Rowley. She is the marvelous speech teacher who has been working with Samuel since he was three, and I think much of his progress can be attributed to her work. During the summer, he knew that the our local pool would close at the end of the summer, and I tried to keep him happy by reminding him that he would be seeing Ms. Rowley in September.

Even this positive addition will bring about change. While Samuel is in speech, I volunteer in the school library adjacent to the speech office. This year, Baby U will be going with us, so I don't know how much help I'll be. Samuel is likely to be confused by all of us walking over, even though we have done a trial walk together. Also, we will be going first thing in the morning, and he's always gone in the afternoons before.

Well, building on what I learned this week, the addition of speech will be all we try to do next week. I'm going to wait on the science that I'd like to get started.