On Praise

We have been puzzled by Samuel's assertions that he is "a bad boy." He has been saying this for the past month or so anytime we correct him. This seemed odd because it's not a phrase we use. We are careful to identify the problem behavior, but we don't scold him ad hominem.

Peeling eggs today, it suddenly dawned on me what is happening. From early on, when he or his younger brother has done the right thing, we've jumped in with praise: "that's my good boy," hoping that it would train him regarding what is good and right.

Well Samuel is a smart kid. If he can be a "good boy," than the opposite is also possible: he can be a "bad boy;" and, by golly, it is sometimes easier to just be a bad boy! Something we thought had been going well, turns around and bites us!