Friday, October 30

Time to Play

The workmen completed our new deck today, and school went out the window. I'd been telling the boys for the last two weeks that they couldn't go out back until it was done. Seconds after the men left, the boys were out running their trucks up and down the new wood.

I recognize that physical activity is essential for Samuel. During the interim, we had been going out front so he could do his handwriting with chalk. (Making large letters apparently stimulates a different part of the brain than the tiny handwriting we do on paper and helps, in the long run, with letter formation.) He and his brother also worked out their energy running up and down the walk with their wagon.

We did get history, science, and math done today. And we should find some time for reading, which is something that I love doing with the boys any day.

Wednesday, October 28

Praise

Yesterday, as we cut out and put together a skeleton as part of our science unit on bones, I noticed that Samuel was working really hard and did a great job following the lines while cutting. Several times when I praised him, his little face lit up like a million watt bulb. I sometimes get the feeling that I have a very bright boy trapped in a quagmire of behavior.

On a lighter note, I was baffled this morning when Baby U started asking for "bone boy," until I figured out he wanted the skeleton I helped him make.

Tuesday, October 27

Needing Wisdom

Samuel has been so "off" lately. Even his speech teacher was shaking her head yesterday about all the computer gibberish he had been giving her. He tried to "exit" out of class -- as if he could hit a function key and make his speech class disappear at will.

I am at a loss as to how to handle these off times -- for whatever reason he seems to need, from time to time, to be more noisy and active and calling his own shots. Not unlike, I suppose, a 2-year old. From that perspective, a 2-year old has to be taught what is appropriate. The same is likely true for Samuel. I pray for wisdom ...

Monday, October 26

Putting The Spine In Science

Science -- it can be a lot of fun when homeschooling, even though it usually takes some preparation. Today a q-tip became a spinal cord and pasta Os formed the vertebra; the fine motor skills needed to manipulate the pasta provided a bonus for Samuel.

This year we're using Little Otters, which is guiding us through the human body and is giving a good introduction to the life sciences. We're making modifications based on what books are available and dropping out the Magic School Bus videos that are too frenetic for us.  We've loved Janice VanCleave's Play and Find Out about the Human Body.

She suggested threading empty thread spools onto yarn to demonstrate how the vertebra lne  up to provide a strong, but flexible backbone. Though I'm an avid seamstress, I've not held onto thread spools. Ah, but I had the pasta Os and adapted those to the "experiment" by using the much larger q-tip to "thread" the bones.

Homeschooling refines the art of improvision!

Friday, October 23

What You See Is What You Get

My Samuel seems so absorbed by what he sees. This has its advantage when trying to put something together, like a puzzle or a toy that Mommy accidentally took apart trying to install a new battery. (Opps! He calmly handled those tiny screws and incomprehensible parts to put his train back together!)

Observations have their disadvantage when something changes. Samuel has been "accidentally" knocking over a political sign in our front yard. (By golly we've never had one before, and we're not going to have one now) and is in quite a tizzy about a deck installation out back.

I face a real challenge because what we see in print does not necessarily translate to how we write something by hand. Samuel wants to take printing conventions and use them in his handwriting even though he hasn't mastered the basics yet. I've been stressing numbers lately so we can move along in math -- he's noticed that just about all typed fonts have a "closed" 4 whereas the handwritten four typically has an open box shape.

If I could be sure he would one day have neat handwriting, it wouldn't be so bad but I don't want to risk his having difficulty distinguishing between his 4s and his 9s. At least he seems to like numbers!

Thursday, October 22

Feeding a Kid

I doubt if any mothers in history have been as concerned about nutrition as the current crop. We hear about it before we're even pregnant, warned that certain deficiencies in Moms lead to birth defects. Doctors give us pre-natal vitamins when we're expecting. Then scary news stories get us to read labels on everything we feed our babies. Is it any wonder that people would try to blame diet for autism?

In some autism circles, you don't even need to use full names for special diets -- quick references with initials tell all about restricting this or that in the diet. Gluten and casein lead the list. Add in gastrointestinal problems (not demonstrated with hard science by the way, but certainly observed by many of us with a spectrum kid) and it's amazing we have anything left to feed our kids.

I think I understand why Moms feel this way. Food on the groceries shelves seem to be less about what comes out of the field and more about what can be poured out of the chemical vat. And that, I think, may be more the problem then certain categories of food.

In general, both of my fellas seem to do better if I eliminate the colors and additives. If a grocery selection has a huge list of ingredients, items that I can't pronounce, or certain red-flag words (like hydrogenated fats), I don't buy it. We mostly eat what I make from scratch so I know what's going into my kids.

When eliminating wheat, I wonder if some Moms feel like they're seeing problems with the way flour is  processed in this country rather than the gluten? Most mass-produced flour is bleached and artificially "aged". Either of these chemical processes potentially could cause difficulty. I use flour from a regional company that uses neither of these processes.

We limit dairy because we have a known casein allergy coming down from my husband's side of the family. Even there, I wonder if some of the modern processing might be cause the problems? It's worth exploring to get the good "stuff" in milk back in my kids again.

Tuesday, October 20

A Day on the Farm

How do you burn off energy? Especially on a glorious October day? That's a question any Mama asks, but it seems especially important for a spectrum kid.

Just north of town, we have a regional park that is a fully operating farm. The boys love it, and the outing gives plenty of opportunity to run, jump, and explore. Plus, I think it's important for children reared in suburbia to know how we get our food.

(We seem to have driven that point home. We were at the farm last spring at the same time as a bunch of school kids. When we approached the pig enclosure one of my boys yelled, "Hey look, bacon!" -- we received a few odd looks.)

We walk a big loop that's maybe half a mile. Or it's a half mile for the big people and several miles for the little guys running up and down and back and forth. I slow the boys way down as we approach any critters and have been trying to show them how to properly interact with the animals. Today, I was pleased to see how quickly they learned to give hay to the horses from the palms of their hands with their fingers back. Or I was pleased until I saw the sign saying not to feed the horses. Opps. Bad Mommy! Although the lesson wasn't entirely lost -- when I told the boys to quit, I had Samuel read the sign to us so he sees that it applies to everybody.

The boys seem especially intrigued by the hogs; perhaps they admire their freedom to roll in the mud. They also love the chickens, turkeys, and geese. I'm always impressed by the big draft horses and the seasonal changes.

Each visit, the boys find feathers and spend the rest of their outing trying to fly. A hay bale or steps discarded from an exhibit make a perfect launch site.

We will only have another week or so to visit this year. Then the farm will slip into the quiet of winter when only the geese can fly and the boys dream of the coming spring.

Monday, October 19

An "Off" Day

Samuel is being gross. I know that his behavior is meeting some need on his part, but seeing him lick his hands, drool and so forth is just not pleasant. He has also been "off" the last four or five days -- much noisier and harder to placate.

We've had illness, then lots of rain so the boys haven't spent nearly as much time outside. But, they've been absolutely absorbed in playing with trains. Now that its a nice day, that's still what they want to do. I wonder if the off behavior is somehow tied to a lack of exercise?

Friday, October 16

Dangerous Strangers

I'm a little freaked about an article in this morning's paper, about a stranger trying to "spank" a 7-year-old who was having a public meltdown. Others just don't know or understand what's going on with Spectrum Kids, especially if they're high functioning and just appear to be an undisciplined child.

Going out in public can be so stressful, especially if we go someplace new. We more or less have a routine for going over to the school for speech, or over to the grocery story for food, so Samuel knows what to expect. But change that routine, and a meltdown becomes a very real possibility.

Today, I saw a variation on this in my home. The boys were fine until someone came by the house to drop off some political signs. They've been going crazy ever since. My husband and older son have noticed the same thing -- that the boys behavior change whenever one of us comes or goes, changing the "dynamic" in the house.

But how is a stranger to know when he is seeing a public meltdown? And why should a stranger feel like he can intervene in dealing with a child? I'm sure the mother is mortified and the child will have an even more difficult time in public.

Thursday, October 15

Odds and Ends

Samuel regarding the sink drain: "it's swallowing."

While looking at a picture with "hidden" pictures, I noticed for the first time today that Baby U is picking out the hidden objects faster than Samuel. I don't know if that means Samuel is slow, but it sure looks like Baby U is picking up a lot for a 3 year old.

I saw an article testing undergraduates who were exposed to math concepts in an abstract, just learn the formula approach. Those students were compared to others who were given the same subject matter in a more hands-on, real-life approach. Guess what -- the students with the more abstract presentation did better when tested on the information. I don't know how much this applies to a spectrum kid, but it does potentially challenge our assumptions regarding math.

Wednesday, October 14

On Pigs and Trains

Our house has been all about piggies and trains lately. First, the piggy -- Baby U very solemnly walked up to me the other day with a blanket covering a box. When I asked him what was in the box, he informed me it was a piggy. Turns out he has an imaginary pig friend, whose existence I've encouraged. Samuel has almost never engaged in imaginary play and I'm hoping piggy may teach him a few things. Besides, nothing tugs at the heart more than a three-year-old letting you see his friend.

Trains are encouraging another kind of play. Spectrum kids are more likely to play "parallel" with another child -- each doing his own thing. Well the boys have gone mad for Thomas the Tank Engine. If you have one track and two trains, the boys almost have to coordinate what they're doing -- building track together, taking turns at the switches, racing, and so forth. Even better, Daddy likes the trains too -- you should have seen the three of them playing together last night!

Tuesday, October 13

Does My Child Have a Problem?

"No one would listen to me when I said thought we had a problem." How many times have I heard this? Parents of spectrum kids can face frustration after frustration. When do you trust your instincts and when do you accept what an initial screening tells you?

While I am primarily interested in following Samuel's homeschooling experiences, I am painfully aware of the challenge parents face when their gut tells them something's wrong, but the doctor (nurse, health clinic) tells them everything is fine.

Eventually, I'm hoping to get a website up and running that will provide resources for answering these questions and to share what has worked for us while homeschooling. In the meantime, here are a few suggestions.

First, trust your instincts! I'm presuming you are a normally competent parent and don't run your kids to the emergency room for every mosquito bite. You know your child better than anyone, and may be picking up on subtle cues that can't be fully quantified.

I can point to the day of Samuel's first public meltdown when he was 30 months old. Within a night or so, he woke up in the middle of the night caterwauling and thrashing about in a non-responsive state. I had been concerned for the previous six months because Samuel didn't say much -- only to be assured by other parents and medical folks that "some kids talk later than others." None of these things would pinpoint autism, but for me they added up to a strong sense that something wasn't right.

Secondly, take good notes -- any baby book you keep is a good start. For any child, if you see something that concerns you, make a note of it. Realize that even intestinal problems can be linked to autism, so its worth noting concerns outside developmental observations. It might also be valuable to ask relatives if others in the family had any autism-like symptoms. (Although it may not be known by name -- "Uncle Joe kept to himself a lot," might provide a clue.) Find somewhere to stash copies of reports and other information.

People who've had experience may be able to guide you. (Make some connections.) The reason I suggest this is that autism may be diagnosed by many different specialists: developmental pediatricians, neurologists, psychiatrists, and others. And you may get conflicting information among the specialists. My poor baby got prodded, poked, and scanned in so many ways that eventually I had to say, "Stop! We're taking a break!" (An intestinal specialist when down all kinds of dead ends not realizing that autistic kids often have bowel problems).  I was blessed to have another special needs Mom who could offer encouragement and guidance through the labyrinth.

The educational community may offer the most practical help. Preschool and early elementary teachers have seen it all, and often get a sense for "spectrum kids" long before the medical community puts the puzzle together. That is how we first received intervention for Samuel, and we continue to adore his speech teacher.

A caveat is in order here: the right to homeschool any child with special educational needs has been upheld, but hotly contested here in the US. And understand that educators will be interested in one primary outcome: how to get your child to function well in a classroom. Remember also that questions regarding why he has difficulty may only be answered through the medical community.

Saturday, October 10

The Science of Samuel

Researchers have started developing theories about structural problems in the brain that result in autism. My theory is that eventually they'll find specific processing difficulties that aren't necessarily visible. (Scans of Samuel's brain look normal according to the neurologist that reviewed the images last year.)

I'm not talking sensory processing disorder per se, although that may well be a major symptom. Instead, Samuel seems to have a delay in language he hears -- but not consistently. And he often speaks like someone for whom English is a second language.

The "delay" is easy enough to describe -- I tell him something and sometimes he doesn't respond or react until a few moments go by. When I'm reading to him,  he'll let several sentences go by, then ask about a word that he doesn't know.

Speech-generation delays are harder to explain. Often while talking, we form ideas in our heads and the words just seem to be ready to express those ideas. Every once in a while, we'll forget a name, or even a word that we don't use often -- then we see how the process bogs down while our brain examines and rejects numerous possibilities. What is normally instantaneous is suddenly much slower and requires greater "processing" power.

Think about being in a country that speaks something other than your native language. You spend a lot more time trying sifting through the words you need to generate the idea you need to get across. Or you stretch what you do know to cover a concept for which you have no word -- or you apply what you think is a logical extension from what you already know.

I think it is this logic and "stretching" that occurs every time Samuel talks. If you can remember something why can't you unmember it? That's a perfectly logical use of English prefixes, but if you've ever tried to follow instructions from a manufacturer who uses software for a "logical" translation, you may end up with gibberish. Sadly, that's the threshold Samuel faces as he tries to express himself.

Oddly, this is in a child that has a remarkable memory. The problem appears to be in linking to that memory verbally. Something in his brain somehow doesn't fire quite right when he's hearing words or trying to generate his own. I'm convinced he uses the strong areas of his brain (like his memory) to try to compensate. This leads to delays or frustration.

This has one confirmation. Many spectrum kids, including Samuel script (simply reciting favorite lines from movies) or display echolalia (by parroting back whatever you've said or asked). These resources are in the memory and can simply be thrown out effortlessly without all the trouble of correctly generating the words to match the idea to be expressed.

This is a scientific sample of exactly one -- anecdotal at best. But I'd be willing to bet its a good description of what's going on with my Samuel.

Friday, October 9

The Things That He Thinks

Samuel gave himself a school assignment yesterday: to write a book. He had been playing with a stapler, and when I went to take it away from him, he talked about making a booklet. Fair enough, I thought, why not staple some pages together so he'd have plenty of space for drawing.

The results stunned me. He carefully numbered each page, and used a variety of printing and cursive styles to write the text. On the front he wrote, in clear letters, A Book-let, with the hyphen at the end of a line. Inside, he used cartoon bubbles to indicate spoken language and drew several people that would have to be considered age-appropriate drawing.

I'm beginning to think that he absorbs just about everything he sees -- different ways of writing, the way a book page is presented, the "talking" from Calvin and Hobbes. As he develops skills, this memory has a way to come out.

We're seeing the same thing with his talking -- as he develops a bigger vocabulary and more complex speech-patterns, he's able to share more of his memories. Yesterday, he started talking about a trip we had taken last spring. He remembered the barbecue we ate on the way down, the hotels we used for two overnight stops enroute, just detail after detail.

Oh to improve the access to that brain!

Thursday, October 8

Play Me A Song

When I was quite young, I remember a teacher playing music and handing out rhythm sticks, triangles and other simple instruments. For US patriotic songs we'd line up and have a parade around the classroom. One of my clearest memories is walking in front of the large windows banging away on a triangle.

Samuel loves music and seems to have a good ear for pitch. Taking a cue from my past, I purchased a set of instruments that includes the requisite triangle, tambourine, shakers, and other ways to participate. We've enjoyed our national songs (where else but at a parade or baseball game do we hear them these days?). Our selections get Samuel and Baby U moving -- or introduces them to different kinds of music.

The kids love Laurie Berkner who sings all kinds of silly songs that really get them involved (without that sickening "kids' song" sound). With the boys' recent interest in trains, I was inspired to pull together a play list of train songs, drawn mostly from American folk and bluegrass.

As I type, we're listening to Bach's Triple Concerto in A Minor -- Baby U came over as soon as he heard the opening notes. I recall one pleasant afternoon when he sat transfixed by Magnificat in D. The bigger question for Samuel will be any formal instruction. Spectrum kids are often musically inclined and we've had a wonderful friend offer to teach him the piano. Perhaps we need to follow up on this kind offer.

Wednesday, October 7

Words, Wonderful Words

All morning, Baby U (our 3 year old) has been talking about the "crooked" or perhaps the "cricket." I think it comes from a dream he had last night, and my attempts to identify it in real life have been unsuccessful. He's had a lot of time with me this morning, Samuel got up late, and I've sat and let him babble on and on like a stream of words and ideas. Samuel later joined us for a cuddle before being drawn into his favorite train activities.

I suspect that having a willing audience and the opportunity to form their thoughts contribute greatly to children learning to speak and recognize words in any setting (written or spoken). Today's world tends to cut this short. So many their age would have been hauled out the door at 7 a.m. and put into a bigger group of kids. Usually on Wednesday, we would have been taking Samuel to his speech teacher by mid-morning, then moving on to other activities. Illness both inside the family, and out, has prevented our rush-around Wednesday, and I'm grateful.

Homeschooling provides, perhaps, the best opportunity to slow down and engage in the simplest of human communications -- the hug, the smile, the flowing of thought that isn't being rushed into a quick sound bite. With a spectrum kid in the family, this isn't easy given the number of appointments, specialists and interventions involved in his care. But I've got to find this time ...

Tuesday, October 6

Little Otters for Little Ones

I might be a little disorganized in posting this week -- we've had some illness in the family. But that's a good introduction to the science that we are using this year.

Online, we discovered a delightful program called Little Otters.

Every little kid is fascinated by his or her body! Why do we have these ridges on our finger tips or wrinkles on our elbows? Hey, look what I can do! We've enjoyed the combination of little experiments, reading selections and activities. In all, this should establish a solid foundation for studying life sciences.

The author calls herself "Mama Mouse" and is only identified as a homeschooling Mom working on a graduate degree in nursing. Bless her heart, she gives a day-by-day schedule for working through the Little Otters Science class with your young ones.

While the curriculum is free to download, it takes a bit of effort to track down various books and videos. So far, I'd say my little guys think it is worth it!

Saturday, October 3

Autumn in the US South

We had a perfect October afternoon for a church picnic! I also tried to show my sons the finer points of Southeastern Conference Football. Grin.

Friday, October 2

The Morning of our Content

What does a baby remember? Perhaps Samuel has warm, cozy associations with reading from infancy. As a survival tactic, I brought him and my newspaper into bed with me in the mornings. That way he could nurse and snuggle and I could read and doze until we reached a more reasonable hour to get up and start the day. When Baby U came along, we continued the pattern.

If you look around our house, you'll find tons of books, newspapers and magazines. The grandparents have both started subscriptions so the boys have their own materials coming in the mail. They hear the Bible read last thing before going to bed and see Mom and Dad studying the scriptures.

I don't think there is any way to imitate this love of reading or the richness of the environment in the home. Head Start programs likely give excellent instruction; but if Mom and Dad don't think reading is important, if Wilbur the pig and The Cat in the Hat aren't part of your growing up, you're not likely to gain the interest in reading that leads to life-long learning.

Samuel is reading amazingly well. Last night, on his own, he worked his way through Lois Lenski's The Little Train, a book which I expected to read to him. As I read E.B. Whites Trumpet of the Swan to Samuel, I know he's keeping up because he stops me every time we hit a hyphen to continue a word onto the next line. (One of those maddening details that he's obsessing over at the moment.) He has also become fascinated by the "ing" forms of verbs.

My point in all this, is that homeschooling offers a very organic form of learning -- part of the very life of the household, especially at this young age. As I make brief notes in my calendar of what we've done each day, it sometimes looks skimpy. I have to remind myself that learning takes place in far more ways than a curriculum  dictates. I pray that what he remembers is far more than "short e" and ""long e" and that he carries the love and support of his home wherever he goes in life.

Thursday, October 1

A Quiet Moment (Please!)

A pool is an appropriate place to make noise, right? What struck me yesterday was how much more noise Samuel was making.

He has been taking swim lessons this fall with a dear, sweet woman who readily accepted the challenge. While Samuel swims, I water jog in the deep end of the pool. Yesterday, while nursing a headache, I barely saundered back and forth, perhaps making me more aware of my surroundings. Sure kids make noise in classes and around a pool, but Samuel's voice seemed to ring out above the rest.

Later in the day, my husband was late in getting home and we had to hand off the kids in a doctor's waiting room. Those few minutes were among the longest in my life -- this was at an adults-only practice with barely audible mellow music playing. Now we had noise trumpeting in a quiet environment.

Spectrum kids often make (or avoid) sensations that affect all five senses plus the sense of balance and position in space. To some extent, in settings with lots of people, I'd assumed Samuel was making noise because he was distracted and overstimulated. I'm beginning to suspect that he makes noise just to make noise. Because he "gets" something out of hearing the noise he is making, it takes the behavior beyond a simple disciplinary matter. Oh for some wisdom now (and the next 10 years!).