Christmas Break

This may not be a smart thing do do with a blog, but I will be taking a break until after the start of the New Year. May Christ richly bless you as we celebrate His birth!

A "Reality" Show

This video from Joni and Friends describes some aspects of my life very well, particularly when it mentions that having a spectrum kid come into the room is like throwing a spoon into a running blender. I also appreciated the description of how challenging it can be for a Type A personality to interact with a spectrum kid. By golly, I've got things to do and a schedule to keep, so this time in my life is definitely causing me to learn to be more patient, to stretch and to grow!

Gotta Get Back to Work

I didn't mean to disappear out of the blogsphere -- we've had out-of-town family in for the US Thanksgiving holiday. Samuel has had the opportunity to interact with more people, but my writing dropped way down in priority. Everyone was sad to see Grandma and Grandpa leave ...

Preparing to be Thankful

Three pie crusts, apple pie filling, and a mashed potato casserole all went into the freezer today for Thanksgiving. I also seasoned and toasted crumbs for the stuffing. I'm hoping to keep next week from being so crazy! I'd like to keep up with math and reading through next week; in the past, I've enjoyed taking Thanksgiving week off from homeschooling, but then it's so hard to get going again!

Singing in the Rain

My little guys are out playing in the rain. Well, not an all-out downpour, it is more of a mist. My inspiration came from the occupational therapist we saw Monday. She suggested giving Samuel times where he can play with something that mushes.

Some time ago, to save my garden beds and pots, I filled up a long container with sand and the little guys are allowed to play in that. Well, that meets my definition of mushy. With everything already wet, I would not normally have had them go outside today. But if it helps Samuel, why not?

We are supposed to get full showers, and even thunderstorms later, so I finished most of school this morning, gave the boys an early lunch, then sent them out back. A good session of playing in the sand, and running up and down the yard with their trucks, should burn off some of their boundless energy and their desire to get into "stuff."

Besides, they need a bath this afternoon anyway.

Talking to Himself?

Samuel's speech teacher is considering putting him by himself while she works with him. I understand her dilemma: if  he is too much of a distraction, the other kids can't benefit from her sessions. But, if he's in with other kids, she can assist with peer interactions.  I told her I'd support whatever decision she makes -- I understand Samuel can be quite demanding and trust her to do right by all the kids involved.

A New Start

Samuel's new occupational therapy sessions look so promising! He had such fun rolling, climbing, throwing, and balancing. Best of all, the therapist is very in tune with what he needs for speech, gently correcting and encouraging him to use the right phrases and sentence structures.

I'm appreciating that Samuel likes to be challenged -- he becomes so enthusiastic, grinning and really concentrating on the situation. It's infectious! I found myself with an ear-to-ear smile just watching. Already, I can see some adaptations we can make during school -- something as simple as flopping down on our bellies to read will work his shoulder and core muscles.

We are hugely blessed to have so many good medical resources around us. I'd dearly love to live out in the middle of nowhere. But living here means my baby gets what he needs!

Samuel's No Organization Man

Everything gets scheduled on Mondays and Wednesdays! We will start occupational therapy today (Monday) which is also one of Samuel's speech therapy days. Yesterday, the fella who has offered to teach Samuel piano offered to do so, you guessed it, on Mondays.

Meanwhile, I'm finding it hard to get any regular school work done. In the past, our family has successfully used a four -day week schedule from time to tine in the younger grades. But I'd still have to deal with Wednesdays when Samuel has speech, and in the afternoons, both boys have an excellent opportunity to get together with other kids.

I guess the most telling question will be whether or not Samuel progresses in his academic skills this school year. In my viewpoint, reading is the most critical skill to develop now, and he's making great progress there. Same with the broad "language arts" of spelling and developing ideas. Secondarily, a good foundation in numeracy needs to be developed, and that's coming along too.

Usually we've developed more of a routine by this point in the school year. Sometimes we just have to keep on keeping on. I crave more organization!

It's in the Numbers

Day four of potty training, three rounds of laundry, two relatively happy boys, and one frazzled Mama! This has got to work! I think I can, I think I can. Toot, toot .... sigh.

Going Dotty

What Samuel does or says can seem odd, until closer examination shows a logical, but unexpected approach. In math yesterday, Samuel needed to add the numbers presented by the face of dice. Two dots plus one dot equals three dots, etc.

Well he insisted on drawing the dots in the answer block rather than the numeral. When I realized he wanted to put the correct number, it dawned on me that he was trying to answer in kind. If the problem is given in dots, it makes logical sense to answer in dots. What an interesting little mind to see developing!

Success?

Samuel is the proud owner of a new radio-controlled Thomas the Tank Engine. He started out yesterday with a big T-shirt on and nothing else and went went into total meltdown mode. When he mentioned a new engine (while scripting dialog from a video) an idea flashed through my head. Put regular underwear on him and promise his choice of Thomas gear if he has no "accidents" before his Dad gets home from work.

He made it! While we resorted to training underwear overnight (and as it turned out, for good reason), Samuel has been wearing regular skivvies all day with no problem. His younger brother, meanwhile, is tagging along for the adventure. While he's had a few more mishaps, he's doing very well.

I can't claim success yet. But something tells me we are on our way. So often when Samuel is ready for a new skill, he just blooms when he succeeds. Over the last two days, I've seen that smile often!

Big Change

OK, let's see how this goes. Samuel has demonstrated for a while now that he can use the toilet. He just chooses not to. So, deep breath, I've put one of my T-shirts on him for privacy, and am leaving him without his "training" underwear. When I tried, about a year ago, to simply put regular underwear on him, he simply went in his pants anyway. So far today, hysterics. Deep breath ... OK, we can do this.

Getting the Basics

I recently saw a statistic that saddened me: about 50 percent of the people in Pakistan are illiterate. In my mind, that's a greater loss than missing the daily newspaper -- it means those folks are likely locked in their position in life. If you can read, and have at least some access to materials, you can teach yourself anything. You can form your own opinions about the events around you. Ideas and concepts far beyond your own village are within your grasp.

Sometimes teaching Samuel seems like an overwhelming task. But at this stage in life, it doesn't need to be complicated. The little fella needs to be able to read, write, and figure. If he gets that, particularly the reading, he will have the potential for a lifetime of learning.

At this point, I'd have to say that he is most limited by his fine motor skills -- Samuel often tries to sneak his other hand across onto the pencil when he's trying to write. But the very basic skills are developing and he will soon start occupational therapy to enhance those abilities. His reading is coming along rapidly. What a joy it is to see my boys love books and magazines as much as I do. Samuel's math is likely very appropriate for his age: he can count into the hundreds, recognizes patterns, and is getting the basic concerpts of addition and subtraction.

Samuel is truly learning to read, write, and figure. What a blessing!

When Past is Present

"I shucked the corn." Hmmmm, I looked around at the pile of special blankets and stuffed animals that accompany our morning snuggle and couldn't for the life of me figure out what Samuel was talking about. "Then we cooked it and ate it."

Ah ha! He was thinking of last summer and revisiting our going to the farmers market, buying fresh corn, then coming home to prepare it. We've had to puzzle over these jumps in time before.

I'm not sure what to make of memories coming out as current. When we're reading, we may be paragraphs further along when Samuel asks about a particular word. That leaves me scrambling to find it so I can let him examine it for a moment. That might be attributed to a slow processing time, but events from last summer clearly would be coming out of long-term memory. (And Samuel has an unbelievable memory!)

Is it possibly a typical behavior for a six-year-old? I recall his older brother doing something somewhat similar, but thought then that it was his way of dealing with an extraordinarily sad event in his life.

For now, perhaps it doesn't matter. It's Samuel being Samuel. But I do try to understand what's going on with him!

Help With Reading

We have someone who can help us with teaching questions. This was what we e-mailed about this week regarding Samuel's reading:

My question:


I am hoping you can help me with a question regarding Samuel's reading.

Is it possible for his reading level to outpace his underlying skills? He is doing so well in both reading and spelling, but gets impatient with me when I show him phonics. (I teach this within the context of reading -- never as a stand-alone "rules" exercise.) I guess my concern stems from seeing his language skills surge forward, then regress at times. Also, as we worked with Samuel's older brother, if he went as fast as he wanted, he didn't always have a foundation in the fundamentals (more a problem in math than reading). Too, with Samuel's personality, he usually wants to understand how something "works," and could end up horribly frustrated not knowing "why".

Most days, Samuel reads to me from a variety of materials such as story books or age-appropriate nature magazines; I read to him from a full length book that is well beyond his reading level; and he has some quiet, independent reading time. We also work some classics into the mix, Three Little Pigs, etc.

He does seem to recognize a lot of the principles -- he saw the brand Nike the other day, and following the typical rules, gave it a long I and a silent E. I've also heard him try to figure a word's spelling by saying it and applying what he knows to try to come up with the correct letters. He has absorbed end-of-line hyphenation and using an apostrophe and S for possession from our book reading.

I don't want to bore him, but I don't want a house of cards crumbling down in a few years when he'll need to be picking up more of his information by his own reading.

The Teacher's Response:

It is indeed possible that his ability to read words (word call) exceeds the underlying skills.  In fact, it is not uncommon for children who are on the spectrum to have exceptional oral reading and spelling abilities.  It typically indicates very strong visual memory skills.  The comprehension piece is often more difficult.
 
My sense is that he will continue to be a strong visual speller and reader.  It may not be critical to teach phonics, at least not to a large extent.  It may also make more sense to teach them later, especially if you start to see a gap between his ability spell and read the same word.  You may want to take a sight word approach--being able to read it, spell it, define it, use it in a sentence.   At his age, a quick draw of a word is also a good tool.
 
Instead of a lot of time spent on basic phonics, I would suggest that you teach prescriptively--teaching the rule, etc. when you see an error, and then consider building the comprehension piece.  Retelling the events of a story in terms of first, next, then, and last is important.  Also naming/detailing characters and setting.  You may also want to directly teach inferences, predictions, categories, similarities/differences, and compare/contrast.  (I have a series that teaches these critical thinking skills that I am happy to share.  It's called Think Spots.)  These are comprehension building blocks.  Just like I see spectrum students excel with their oral reading, these components often trip them up as they move on to more advanced text and/or reading assessments such as the DRA. 
 
It sounds as though he is doing very well.   

I've been having trouble saving or posting anything ... if this will post, I'll wait until my technical guru gets home this evening. Samuel is at his whiny worst at the moment and my brain is blanked.

Phone-y Elections

We have elections tomorrow, and we've been "thanked" for our political support by being placed on every calling list in the Western Hemisphere. (OK, so I exaggerate. A little.) Although we are on the national do-not-call list, that service does not block political calls, even the recorded ones placed by auto-dialers.

This makes homeschooling very difficult, especially for a child like Samuel who is very easily distracted. In a typical school day, we alternate between periods of work and play. The boys play for a while, then I gather them back in for our next lesson. Today, we had just settled down for reading -- I finally had their attention and involvement in the story -- and the phone rings. This has been going on for weeks.

Arg!

Time to Play

The workmen completed our new deck today, and school went out the window. I'd been telling the boys for the last two weeks that they couldn't go out back until it was done. Seconds after the men left, the boys were out running their trucks up and down the new wood.

I recognize that physical activity is essential for Samuel. During the interim, we had been going out front so he could do his handwriting with chalk. (Making large letters apparently stimulates a different part of the brain than the tiny handwriting we do on paper and helps, in the long run, with letter formation.) He and his brother also worked out their energy running up and down the walk with their wagon.

We did get history, science, and math done today. And we should find some time for reading, which is something that I love doing with the boys any day.

Praise

Yesterday, as we cut out and put together a skeleton as part of our science unit on bones, I noticed that Samuel was working really hard and did a great job following the lines while cutting. Several times when I praised him, his little face lit up like a million watt bulb. I sometimes get the feeling that I have a very bright boy trapped in a quagmire of behavior.

On a lighter note, I was baffled this morning when Baby U started asking for "bone boy," until I figured out he wanted the skeleton I helped him make.

Needing Wisdom

Samuel has been so "off" lately. Even his speech teacher was shaking her head yesterday about all the computer gibberish he had been giving her. He tried to "exit" out of class -- as if he could hit a function key and make his speech class disappear at will.

I am at a loss as to how to handle these off times -- for whatever reason he seems to need, from time to time, to be more noisy and active and calling his own shots. Not unlike, I suppose, a 2-year old. From that perspective, a 2-year old has to be taught what is appropriate. The same is likely true for Samuel. I pray for wisdom ...

Putting The Spine In Science

Science -- it can be a lot of fun when homeschooling, even though it usually takes some preparation. Today a q-tip became a spinal cord and pasta Os formed the vertebra; the fine motor skills needed to manipulate the pasta provided a bonus for Samuel.

This year we're using Little Otters, which is guiding us through the human body and is giving a good introduction to the life sciences. We're making modifications based on what books are available and dropping out the Magic School Bus videos that are too frenetic for us.  We've loved Janice VanCleave's Play and Find Out about the Human Body.

She suggested threading empty thread spools onto yarn to demonstrate how the vertebra lne  up to provide a strong, but flexible backbone. Though I'm an avid seamstress, I've not held onto thread spools. Ah, but I had the pasta Os and adapted those to the "experiment" by using the much larger q-tip to "thread" the bones.

Homeschooling refines the art of improvision!

What You See Is What You Get

My Samuel seems so absorbed by what he sees. This has its advantage when trying to put something together, like a puzzle or a toy that Mommy accidentally took apart trying to install a new battery. (Opps! He calmly handled those tiny screws and incomprehensible parts to put his train back together!)

Observations have their disadvantage when something changes. Samuel has been "accidentally" knocking over a political sign in our front yard. (By golly we've never had one before, and we're not going to have one now) and is in quite a tizzy about a deck installation out back.

I face a real challenge because what we see in print does not necessarily translate to how we write something by hand. Samuel wants to take printing conventions and use them in his handwriting even though he hasn't mastered the basics yet. I've been stressing numbers lately so we can move along in math -- he's noticed that just about all typed fonts have a "closed" 4 whereas the handwritten four typically has an open box shape.

If I could be sure he would one day have neat handwriting, it wouldn't be so bad but I don't want to risk his having difficulty distinguishing between his 4s and his 9s. At least he seems to like numbers!

Feeding a Kid

I doubt if any mothers in history have been as concerned about nutrition as the current crop. We hear about it before we're even pregnant, warned that certain deficiencies in Moms lead to birth defects. Doctors give us pre-natal vitamins when we're expecting. Then scary news stories get us to read labels on everything we feed our babies. Is it any wonder that people would try to blame diet for autism?

In some autism circles, you don't even need to use full names for special diets -- quick references with initials tell all about restricting this or that in the diet. Gluten and casein lead the list. Add in gastrointestinal problems (not demonstrated with hard science by the way, but certainly observed by many of us with a spectrum kid) and it's amazing we have anything left to feed our kids.

I think I understand why Moms feel this way. Food on the groceries shelves seem to be less about what comes out of the field and more about what can be poured out of the chemical vat. And that, I think, may be more the problem then certain categories of food.

In general, both of my fellas seem to do better if I eliminate the colors and additives. If a grocery selection has a huge list of ingredients, items that I can't pronounce, or certain red-flag words (like hydrogenated fats), I don't buy it. We mostly eat what I make from scratch so I know what's going into my kids.

When eliminating wheat, I wonder if some Moms feel like they're seeing problems with the way flour is  processed in this country rather than the gluten? Most mass-produced flour is bleached and artificially "aged". Either of these chemical processes potentially could cause difficulty. I use flour from a regional company that uses neither of these processes.

We limit dairy because we have a known casein allergy coming down from my husband's side of the family. Even there, I wonder if some of the modern processing might be cause the problems? It's worth exploring to get the good "stuff" in milk back in my kids again.

A Day on the Farm

How do you burn off energy? Especially on a glorious October day? That's a question any Mama asks, but it seems especially important for a spectrum kid.

Just north of town, we have a regional park that is a fully operating farm. The boys love it, and the outing gives plenty of opportunity to run, jump, and explore. Plus, I think it's important for children reared in suburbia to know how we get our food.

(We seem to have driven that point home. We were at the farm last spring at the same time as a bunch of school kids. When we approached the pig enclosure one of my boys yelled, "Hey look, bacon!" -- we received a few odd looks.)

We walk a big loop that's maybe half a mile. Or it's a half mile for the big people and several miles for the little guys running up and down and back and forth. I slow the boys way down as we approach any critters and have been trying to show them how to properly interact with the animals. Today, I was pleased to see how quickly they learned to give hay to the horses from the palms of their hands with their fingers back. Or I was pleased until I saw the sign saying not to feed the horses. Opps. Bad Mommy! Although the lesson wasn't entirely lost -- when I told the boys to quit, I had Samuel read the sign to us so he sees that it applies to everybody.

The boys seem especially intrigued by the hogs; perhaps they admire their freedom to roll in the mud. They also love the chickens, turkeys, and geese. I'm always impressed by the big draft horses and the seasonal changes.

Each visit, the boys find feathers and spend the rest of their outing trying to fly. A hay bale or steps discarded from an exhibit make a perfect launch site.

We will only have another week or so to visit this year. Then the farm will slip into the quiet of winter when only the geese can fly and the boys dream of the coming spring.

An "Off" Day

Samuel is being gross. I know that his behavior is meeting some need on his part, but seeing him lick his hands, drool and so forth is just not pleasant. He has also been "off" the last four or five days -- much noisier and harder to placate.

We've had illness, then lots of rain so the boys haven't spent nearly as much time outside. But, they've been absolutely absorbed in playing with trains. Now that its a nice day, that's still what they want to do. I wonder if the off behavior is somehow tied to a lack of exercise?

Dangerous Strangers

I'm a little freaked about an article in this morning's paper, about a stranger trying to "spank" a 7-year-old who was having a public meltdown. Others just don't know or understand what's going on with Spectrum Kids, especially if they're high functioning and just appear to be an undisciplined child.

Going out in public can be so stressful, especially if we go someplace new. We more or less have a routine for going over to the school for speech, or over to the grocery story for food, so Samuel knows what to expect. But change that routine, and a meltdown becomes a very real possibility.

Today, I saw a variation on this in my home. The boys were fine until someone came by the house to drop off some political signs. They've been going crazy ever since. My husband and older son have noticed the same thing -- that the boys behavior change whenever one of us comes or goes, changing the "dynamic" in the house.

But how is a stranger to know when he is seeing a public meltdown? And why should a stranger feel like he can intervene in dealing with a child? I'm sure the mother is mortified and the child will have an even more difficult time in public.

Odds and Ends

Samuel regarding the sink drain: "it's swallowing."

While looking at a picture with "hidden" pictures, I noticed for the first time today that Baby U is picking out the hidden objects faster than Samuel. I don't know if that means Samuel is slow, but it sure looks like Baby U is picking up a lot for a 3 year old.

I saw an article testing undergraduates who were exposed to math concepts in an abstract, just learn the formula approach. Those students were compared to others who were given the same subject matter in a more hands-on, real-life approach. Guess what -- the students with the more abstract presentation did better when tested on the information. I don't know how much this applies to a spectrum kid, but it does potentially challenge our assumptions regarding math.

On Pigs and Trains

Our house has been all about piggies and trains lately. First, the piggy -- Baby U very solemnly walked up to me the other day with a blanket covering a box. When I asked him what was in the box, he informed me it was a piggy. Turns out he has an imaginary pig friend, whose existence I've encouraged. Samuel has almost never engaged in imaginary play and I'm hoping piggy may teach him a few things. Besides, nothing tugs at the heart more than a three-year-old letting you see his friend.

Trains are encouraging another kind of play. Spectrum kids are more likely to play "parallel" with another child -- each doing his own thing. Well the boys have gone mad for Thomas the Tank Engine. If you have one track and two trains, the boys almost have to coordinate what they're doing -- building track together, taking turns at the switches, racing, and so forth. Even better, Daddy likes the trains too -- you should have seen the three of them playing together last night!

Does My Child Have a Problem?

"No one would listen to me when I said thought we had a problem." How many times have I heard this? Parents of spectrum kids can face frustration after frustration. When do you trust your instincts and when do you accept what an initial screening tells you?

While I am primarily interested in following Samuel's homeschooling experiences, I am painfully aware of the challenge parents face when their gut tells them something's wrong, but the doctor (nurse, health clinic) tells them everything is fine.

Eventually, I'm hoping to get a website up and running that will provide resources for answering these questions and to share what has worked for us while homeschooling. In the meantime, here are a few suggestions.

First, trust your instincts! I'm presuming you are a normally competent parent and don't run your kids to the emergency room for every mosquito bite. You know your child better than anyone, and may be picking up on subtle cues that can't be fully quantified.

I can point to the day of Samuel's first public meltdown when he was 30 months old. Within a night or so, he woke up in the middle of the night caterwauling and thrashing about in a non-responsive state. I had been concerned for the previous six months because Samuel didn't say much -- only to be assured by other parents and medical folks that "some kids talk later than others." None of these things would pinpoint autism, but for me they added up to a strong sense that something wasn't right.

Secondly, take good notes -- any baby book you keep is a good start. For any child, if you see something that concerns you, make a note of it. Realize that even intestinal problems can be linked to autism, so its worth noting concerns outside developmental observations. It might also be valuable to ask relatives if others in the family had any autism-like symptoms. (Although it may not be known by name -- "Uncle Joe kept to himself a lot," might provide a clue.) Find somewhere to stash copies of reports and other information.

People who've had experience may be able to guide you. (Make some connections.) The reason I suggest this is that autism may be diagnosed by many different specialists: developmental pediatricians, neurologists, psychiatrists, and others. And you may get conflicting information among the specialists. My poor baby got prodded, poked, and scanned in so many ways that eventually I had to say, "Stop! We're taking a break!" (An intestinal specialist when down all kinds of dead ends not realizing that autistic kids often have bowel problems).  I was blessed to have another special needs Mom who could offer encouragement and guidance through the labyrinth.

The educational community may offer the most practical help. Preschool and early elementary teachers have seen it all, and often get a sense for "spectrum kids" long before the medical community puts the puzzle together. That is how we first received intervention for Samuel, and we continue to adore his speech teacher.

A caveat is in order here: the right to homeschool any child with special educational needs has been upheld, but hotly contested here in the US. And understand that educators will be interested in one primary outcome: how to get your child to function well in a classroom. Remember also that questions regarding why he has difficulty may only be answered through the medical community.

The Science of Samuel

Researchers have started developing theories about structural problems in the brain that result in autism. My theory is that eventually they'll find specific processing difficulties that aren't necessarily visible. (Scans of Samuel's brain look normal according to the neurologist that reviewed the images last year.)

I'm not talking sensory processing disorder per se, although that may well be a major symptom. Instead, Samuel seems to have a delay in language he hears -- but not consistently. And he often speaks like someone for whom English is a second language.

The "delay" is easy enough to describe -- I tell him something and sometimes he doesn't respond or react until a few moments go by. When I'm reading to him,  he'll let several sentences go by, then ask about a word that he doesn't know.

Speech-generation delays are harder to explain. Often while talking, we form ideas in our heads and the words just seem to be ready to express those ideas. Every once in a while, we'll forget a name, or even a word that we don't use often -- then we see how the process bogs down while our brain examines and rejects numerous possibilities. What is normally instantaneous is suddenly much slower and requires greater "processing" power.

Think about being in a country that speaks something other than your native language. You spend a lot more time trying sifting through the words you need to generate the idea you need to get across. Or you stretch what you do know to cover a concept for which you have no word -- or you apply what you think is a logical extension from what you already know.

I think it is this logic and "stretching" that occurs every time Samuel talks. If you can remember something why can't you unmember it? That's a perfectly logical use of English prefixes, but if you've ever tried to follow instructions from a manufacturer who uses software for a "logical" translation, you may end up with gibberish. Sadly, that's the threshold Samuel faces as he tries to express himself.

Oddly, this is in a child that has a remarkable memory. The problem appears to be in linking to that memory verbally. Something in his brain somehow doesn't fire quite right when he's hearing words or trying to generate his own. I'm convinced he uses the strong areas of his brain (like his memory) to try to compensate. This leads to delays or frustration.

This has one confirmation. Many spectrum kids, including Samuel script (simply reciting favorite lines from movies) or display echolalia (by parroting back whatever you've said or asked). These resources are in the memory and can simply be thrown out effortlessly without all the trouble of correctly generating the words to match the idea to be expressed.

This is a scientific sample of exactly one -- anecdotal at best. But I'd be willing to bet its a good description of what's going on with my Samuel.

The Things That He Thinks

Samuel gave himself a school assignment yesterday: to write a book. He had been playing with a stapler, and when I went to take it away from him, he talked about making a booklet. Fair enough, I thought, why not staple some pages together so he'd have plenty of space for drawing.

The results stunned me. He carefully numbered each page, and used a variety of printing and cursive styles to write the text. On the front he wrote, in clear letters, A Book-let, with the hyphen at the end of a line. Inside, he used cartoon bubbles to indicate spoken language and drew several people that would have to be considered age-appropriate drawing.

I'm beginning to think that he absorbs just about everything he sees -- different ways of writing, the way a book page is presented, the "talking" from Calvin and Hobbes. As he develops skills, this memory has a way to come out.

We're seeing the same thing with his talking -- as he develops a bigger vocabulary and more complex speech-patterns, he's able to share more of his memories. Yesterday, he started talking about a trip we had taken last spring. He remembered the barbecue we ate on the way down, the hotels we used for two overnight stops enroute, just detail after detail.

Oh to improve the access to that brain!

Play Me A Song

When I was quite young, I remember a teacher playing music and handing out rhythm sticks, triangles and other simple instruments. For US patriotic songs we'd line up and have a parade around the classroom. One of my clearest memories is walking in front of the large windows banging away on a triangle.

Samuel loves music and seems to have a good ear for pitch. Taking a cue from my past, I purchased a set of instruments that includes the requisite triangle, tambourine, shakers, and other ways to participate. We've enjoyed our national songs (where else but at a parade or baseball game do we hear them these days?). Our selections get Samuel and Baby U moving -- or introduces them to different kinds of music.

The kids love Laurie Berkner who sings all kinds of silly songs that really get them involved (without that sickening "kids' song" sound). With the boys' recent interest in trains, I was inspired to pull together a play list of train songs, drawn mostly from American folk and bluegrass.

As I type, we're listening to Bach's Triple Concerto in A Minor -- Baby U came over as soon as he heard the opening notes. I recall one pleasant afternoon when he sat transfixed by Magnificat in D. The bigger question for Samuel will be any formal instruction. Spectrum kids are often musically inclined and we've had a wonderful friend offer to teach him the piano. Perhaps we need to follow up on this kind offer.

Words, Wonderful Words

All morning, Baby U (our 3 year old) has been talking about the "crooked" or perhaps the "cricket." I think it comes from a dream he had last night, and my attempts to identify it in real life have been unsuccessful. He's had a lot of time with me this morning, Samuel got up late, and I've sat and let him babble on and on like a stream of words and ideas. Samuel later joined us for a cuddle before being drawn into his favorite train activities.

I suspect that having a willing audience and the opportunity to form their thoughts contribute greatly to children learning to speak and recognize words in any setting (written or spoken). Today's world tends to cut this short. So many their age would have been hauled out the door at 7 a.m. and put into a bigger group of kids. Usually on Wednesday, we would have been taking Samuel to his speech teacher by mid-morning, then moving on to other activities. Illness both inside the family, and out, has prevented our rush-around Wednesday, and I'm grateful.

Homeschooling provides, perhaps, the best opportunity to slow down and engage in the simplest of human communications -- the hug, the smile, the flowing of thought that isn't being rushed into a quick sound bite. With a spectrum kid in the family, this isn't easy given the number of appointments, specialists and interventions involved in his care. But I've got to find this time ...

Little Otters for Little Ones

I might be a little disorganized in posting this week -- we've had some illness in the family. But that's a good introduction to the science that we are using this year.

Online, we discovered a delightful program called Little Otters.

Every little kid is fascinated by his or her body! Why do we have these ridges on our finger tips or wrinkles on our elbows? Hey, look what I can do! We've enjoyed the combination of little experiments, reading selections and activities. In all, this should establish a solid foundation for studying life sciences.

The author calls herself "Mama Mouse" and is only identified as a homeschooling Mom working on a graduate degree in nursing. Bless her heart, she gives a day-by-day schedule for working through the Little Otters Science class with your young ones.

While the curriculum is free to download, it takes a bit of effort to track down various books and videos. So far, I'd say my little guys think it is worth it!

Autumn in the US South

We had a perfect October afternoon for a church picnic! I also tried to show my sons the finer points of Southeastern Conference Football. Grin.

The Morning of our Content

What does a baby remember? Perhaps Samuel has warm, cozy associations with reading from infancy. As a survival tactic, I brought him and my newspaper into bed with me in the mornings. That way he could nurse and snuggle and I could read and doze until we reached a more reasonable hour to get up and start the day. When Baby U came along, we continued the pattern.

If you look around our house, you'll find tons of books, newspapers and magazines. The grandparents have both started subscriptions so the boys have their own materials coming in the mail. They hear the Bible read last thing before going to bed and see Mom and Dad studying the scriptures.

I don't think there is any way to imitate this love of reading or the richness of the environment in the home. Head Start programs likely give excellent instruction; but if Mom and Dad don't think reading is important, if Wilbur the pig and The Cat in the Hat aren't part of your growing up, you're not likely to gain the interest in reading that leads to life-long learning.

Samuel is reading amazingly well. Last night, on his own, he worked his way through Lois Lenski's The Little Train, a book which I expected to read to him. As I read E.B. Whites Trumpet of the Swan to Samuel, I know he's keeping up because he stops me every time we hit a hyphen to continue a word onto the next line. (One of those maddening details that he's obsessing over at the moment.) He has also become fascinated by the "ing" forms of verbs.

My point in all this, is that homeschooling offers a very organic form of learning -- part of the very life of the household, especially at this young age. As I make brief notes in my calendar of what we've done each day, it sometimes looks skimpy. I have to remind myself that learning takes place in far more ways than a curriculum  dictates. I pray that what he remembers is far more than "short e" and ""long e" and that he carries the love and support of his home wherever he goes in life.

A Quiet Moment (Please!)

A pool is an appropriate place to make noise, right? What struck me yesterday was how much more noise Samuel was making.

He has been taking swim lessons this fall with a dear, sweet woman who readily accepted the challenge. While Samuel swims, I water jog in the deep end of the pool. Yesterday, while nursing a headache, I barely saundered back and forth, perhaps making me more aware of my surroundings. Sure kids make noise in classes and around a pool, but Samuel's voice seemed to ring out above the rest.

Later in the day, my husband was late in getting home and we had to hand off the kids in a doctor's waiting room. Those few minutes were among the longest in my life -- this was at an adults-only practice with barely audible mellow music playing. Now we had noise trumpeting in a quiet environment.

Spectrum kids often make (or avoid) sensations that affect all five senses plus the sense of balance and position in space. To some extent, in settings with lots of people, I'd assumed Samuel was making noise because he was distracted and overstimulated. I'm beginning to suspect that he makes noise just to make noise. Because he "gets" something out of hearing the noise he is making, it takes the behavior beyond a simple disciplinary matter. Oh for some wisdom now (and the next 10 years!).

A Word In The Hand ...

My baby who rarely holds a pencil correctly knows how to write (and read) in cursive???

OK, I have to back up for this to make any sense. First, Samuel has had some difficulty with his fine motor skills. A teacher, occupational therapist, and I have tried different strategies to teach Samuel the routine early childhood cutting, crayoning (is that really a verb?) and drawing skills. He still hasn't settled on any particular grip, but can be coaxed into the proper "tripod" grip if given a short pencil with one of those little rubber grips.

About a year ago, Samuel discovered serifs, those little extra lines used in most text type to help hold the eye on the line while reading. He'd write large, misshaped letters -- and carefully inscribe the serifs on every letter that could possibly have them.

Right now, Samuel "should" be writing simple, all upper case letters. I had seen signs that Samuel was reading cursive and was trying to write that way, but had been assuming that he was essentially drawing the shapes he was seeing. Yesterday, while working on a thank-you card, he insisted on restarting the "thank you" that I was helping him print. He went further down the page and wrote it in cursive. Then added his own note "nice" although the latter was virtually unreadable.

We have a great program for writing, Handwriting Without Tears. Incorporating this wild leap ahead with developing the basic skills he needs will be very challenging.

Love In A Little Blue Car

A little toy matchbox car may not seem like much, unless it's  meant as encouragement to a car-crazy boy.  "Wheel-wheel" came out of Samuel's mouth long before he knew many other words. A year or so later, he was devastated  when he realized that the big wheels on the "car" shopping carts are nothing but paint.  His first love prompted his first meltdown.

Yesterday, as we prepared to leave church, an older woman came up and handed Samuel a little blue car. Mrs A. said she had promised it to him because he had been so good during worship services. After his first week seating quietly up front, she'd asked Samuel what color car he wanted, and he declared: "blue." I wasn't even aware of this conversation, but this dear woman knew exactly what pleased Samuel and went out of her way to make sure the little gift was exactly right.

One day, Lord willing, he'll reach the point where sitting through church will be no big deal. Maybe he'll have his own big car to clean and polish and drive proudly down the street. But for this sunny Monday, we have one small boy, one small car, and one encouraged Mama ...

A quiet Sunday

I woke up from a lovely little nap and realized with a start that nothing had been posted today. Oh yes, but I was napping because it was Sunday! After morning services, we had a little family get together for my husband's birthday and ate the carrot cake that the boys helped me make. In a little while, I'll go back to be with our congregation ...

... realized today that Samuel has "lost" a lot of his potty training. Sigh. Perhaps it's all the changes with the start of the school year?

On Reading

About 20 years before the modern homeschooling movement started here in the US, my mother taught my sisters and me to read. She had been concerned by the late 1950s reports showing public school children having difficulty in this area. She figured she could do better and taught each of us phonics before we started school.

Perhaps long-forgotten pleasantries still fill my mind from this experience; I have found it a delight to teach reading. With our oldest son, Isaac, I loved sitting with him, taking turns reading -- sometimes I would have him read an easier selection, and I'd read something more challenging to him. In either case, I'd make sure he noticed whatever concept we were learning, short A, silent E, and so forth. He did great, but needed some encouragement in sounding words out for himself. I tried to make a big deal out of "our secret code" of reading and he  loved that idea.

Samuel seems like he has been driven to read from the start. When he started differentiating shapes, I figured letters would not be much of a stretch. Sure enough, he quickly learned his letters and loved pointing to them if we walked past a sign. I made up a silly song to help him learn the letter/sound associations and soon he was doing them on his own. "A is for apple, B is for ball, C is for ..."

Late last school year, he read his first little book and seemed fascinated by spelling. With almost no prompting on my part, he started trying to remember how to spell just about any word he learned to read; Now he constantly surprises me with the words he recognizes and spells. (I must add here, that he has insisted on having the closed captioning for any video he watches. I'm sure this greatly contributed to both his reading and spelling.)

Here's the catch: he doesn't always know the mechanics behind his reading. I'm concerned that if he ever backtracks (a phenomenon I've noticed in his development) if he doesn't know principles (i.e., the long vowels, short vowels, when and why some are long and short and so forth), he may have trouble continuing with his learning. He's also so driven to understand how things work, I'm concerned he might get very frustrated if he doesn't someday recognize the framework.

Sigh. I'm trying to incorporate some of these phonics basics with our day-to-day reading in small doses so he doesn't get bored. I'm hoping he'll have the fun of reading while getting the nitty gritty at the same time. Always an adventure ...

Statistically What?

I feel like curling up and crying. Seeing information written about Samuel in fine clinical language upsets me. This is so, I suppose, because diagnostic language can never capture my precious boy. (Although the occupational therapist tried:  "Samuel is a sweet and happy ...boy. He immediately greeted the evaluator ...") An evaluation also puts in black and white that hey, there's a problem here. Each day, I am concentrating so hard on what he can do that it is startling to have someone tell me he has limitations.

The other difficulty is that I know something about statistics in a clinical setting. Think of a bell shape with a very narrow lip on either side. Samuel is in that thin, narrow lip edge (or statistically speaking at the second  percentile) in his fine and gross motor skills. Some of the fine skill difficulties I see in his handwriting and coloring. And I understand that difficulties in controlling the body makes it difficult, if not impossible, to make fine movements with the hands.

But it's hard to see my boy in these statistics, even if this is a valued second opinion. It's hard to see the little guy climbing and leaping off a low wall today, chasing around with other little kids, wrestling with his little brother ... Quite frankly, I would expect him to look more limited given these statistics..

OK, the practical side of me comes out now. I can arrange for occupational therapy sessions through an excellent local facility. (Sigh, but that adds more rush to a schedule for a child that craves orderliness and predictability.) We can continue with Samuel's swim lessons; he started these lessons a few weeks ago when I wanted to build on the wonderful exercise he was getting by playing in the pool this summer. And I can pray to the God who made him and ask for His guidance and care for my precious boy. (His Mama too!)

A Mama's Instinct

Last night I ran my fingers over that impossibly soft, almost transparent hair on the back of Samuel's neck. It reminded me of six years ago when I was caring for a tiny baby. Samuel, who was supposed to be born in late September, came along in August.  He was so tiny, down to just five pounds when he went to the doctor for his first "well baby" visit a week later. The cartilage in his ears hadn't fully formed, so he had tiny, silky flaps instead. Fine gold hair covered much more of his body than what would be expected on a full-term baby.

Did I realize then that he would later be considered a spectrum kid? No, he was just my perfect little baby. But I can see where some of my instincts were already bubbling. I had read that babies nurse better if their backs and limbs are gently messaged. He loved it! So did I, and it became an important part of our routine. Now I know from research that touch is incredibly important for Samuel, and may have contributed greatly to his early interaction with me, body awareness, and other skills.

He ended up sleeping with me for a while after we both discovered that we got more rest that way. Such a small baby needed to nurse so often and it seemed like he slept longer with me. Although concerned about the warnings I read against this practice, I followed my instincts and removed all extra pillows and the comforter from our bed and taught myself to sleep on my back with Samuel nestled face out close to my shoulders.

Now I wonder if this promoted the interaction between us. Surely my heartbeat and warmth was a comfort to a child that may have already been experiencing the stress of autism. And when he started showing signs of sleep apnea, he was right there with me -- I knew he wasn't breathing for stretches of time and he ended up at the hospital.

I write this in part to give more background to Samuel's story. I also think that a mother's instincts can be a valuable guide -- nothing outlandish mind you, but sensible nurturing, trying to respond to your child.

Productive By Doing Little?

Illness and homeschool makes an interesting mix. Last night, when Samuel started getting sick to his stomach, I was grateful we had taken the precaution to keep him away from other kids due to a cough. Although we did all of his academic subjects yesterday, he missed his speech session and swimming lesson and today we've done very little school.

I had discovered that he and his little brother really enjoyed some documentaries about wild horses. By watching them today, we gave Samuel the opportunity to think about a story line. We had been warned that spectrum kids can be really good at "decoding" or figuring out how to put the letter sounds together into words; but they can have trouble taking those letters and understanding a meaningful piece of information or story. While we read, I'm frequently asking him to recount parts of the story and to try to anticipate what will come next. With the horse documentaries, I could ask, "do you think we'll see the the foals next?" Or, "do you think the fire will scare the horses?"

This reminds me of years ago when I needed to have back surgery. Our oldest, Abigail, was able to work  independently on her high school studies, but I had to be creative to keep her younger sister Esther engaged. So we did a unit on Shakespeare, and while I was recovering from surgery, Esther, my mother, and I watched many movies with classical presentations of Shakespeare. For a long time after that, Esther would pick up Shakespeare just for fun!

Part of me feels like, we "should" be doing so much more today. Another part reminds me that sometimes these "down" days can be quite productive after all. Hmm, come to think of it, he's looking over my shoulder trying to "decode" even as I write this!

Genetics Anyone?

Wanna explain cell genetics to a six year old (of any stripe)? Especially when a younger brother is part of the lesson? We were reading I Know How My Cells Make Me Grow when we strayed into genetics. I tried to explain that God puts little messages into each cell so it knows how to make a new tiny piece of bone that is uniquely Samuel and a new little piece of skin that is uniquely Mommy.

"You know what a message is -- it's like when Grandpaw sent you a postcard with the ship on it." I have no idea if Samuel understood the message part, but he and Baby U both seemed fascinated by the diagrams of muscle cells and skin cells.

This has been one of the more fascinating sides of homeschooling for me. It's one thing to know a subject well enough to engage in normal adult conversation; but it seems like you need even more understanding to translate that information into the simple terms needed to explain it to a child. Big brother Isaac had already taught me that I need to keep everything as concrete as possible and to give a boy something he can touch and hold whenever possible.

With Samuel, the latter seems even more important. He has one advantage though: he is so driven to understand how something works he is likely to watch, manipulate, or play with something for a while just to meet that ingrained curiosity. Yes, uniquely Samuel ...

Sunday

A day of rest -- a little different because we have some kind of cold/virus/bronchitis in the house.

Help From A Cyberfriend

** Note -- sorry I did not acknowledge some of your very kind comments earlier! **

In a recent comment, someone mentioned "getting inside" Samuel's head. For the last six weeks or so, I've had an additional resource that has enabled me to feel like I am doing just that.

I won't mention any names here because I want to respect RK's privacy, but I have been communicating with a fella that has grown up with challenges similar to Samuel's. We "met" through another forum, and in one post, he mentioned autism spectrum. I quickly asked if he would mind answering questions for me regarding Samuel.

What a huge blessing he is! I know I'm not talking to Samuel -- that RK is a unique individual -- but it feels like I am finally able to discover what Samuel sees and feels. Even the best of experts has never walked around in Samuel's shoes.

Having Samuel sit in the front of the church last week was a huge insight: he had far less to distract him and was more relaxed than I've ever seen him in a large group setting. I would never have made a connection between his seemingly natural mechanical abilities and a very real need to understand how everything around him works -- whether it is the toy car or the rules for behaving in a library. Knowing that Samuel may look distracted -- but is really paying attention in his own way -- has been valuable for teaching him.

Thank you RK; and may the blessing you've been to Samuel and me be returned many times over!

On Praise

We have been puzzled by Samuel's assertions that he is "a bad boy." He has been saying this for the past month or so anytime we correct him. This seemed odd because it's not a phrase we use. We are careful to identify the problem behavior, but we don't scold him ad hominem.

Peeling eggs today, it suddenly dawned on me what is happening. From early on, when he or his younger brother has done the right thing, we've jumped in with praise: "that's my good boy," hoping that it would train him regarding what is good and right.

Well Samuel is a smart kid. If he can be a "good boy," than the opposite is also possible: he can be a "bad boy;" and, by golly, it is sometimes easier to just be a bad boy! Something we thought had been going well, turns around and bites us!

On Chocolate and Learning

My house is filled with that most wonderful of smells, chocolate! We read Karma Wilson's Whopper Cake today and then followed the recipe in the very back of the book. The "Whopper" comes from the main character in the story needing the back of a pickup truck to mix a huge cake for his wife's birthday. Now, our cake fit in an ordinary 9 by 13-inch pan, but gave lots of opportunities for the boys to spoon and mix and bake.

We have one of those Height Right chairs so Samuel can sit and write properly at a grown-up table. This baking exercise proved that the chair is terrific for helping in the kitchen. Both boys could stand on the bottom platform and peer into the pans and bowls.(Although Baby U sometime preferred the "seat" level.) I measured  the ingredients ahead of time, showing them the amounts as we went along. I also told them the basic principles involved in mixing and baking a cake. ("Taste how the buttermilk is sour; it may seem funny in a chocolate cake but it helps to make a cake tender and poofy.")

Later, I went back and reinforced some of the principles in measuring liquids. I used the plainest of my 4-cup liquid measures to cut down on confusing information. I was pleasantly surprised to see Samuel take the one-half cup measures in stride. We were filling from one cup level to the next, and Samuel started correctly reading out the half measures as we passed them: " three-and-a-half cups," and so forth. Wow!

Learn In The Sandbox

Samuel, at age 6, is not that aware of politics. So perhaps writing about political issues runs amok with the premise of this blog. I am concerned, though, about the gathering pressure here in the US to formalize instruction for children younger than six!

According the ideas in the news during the last week or so, too few people are available to serve in the military due to educational, physical and even legal deficiencies. So, according to these stories, we need to increase spending on preschool education.

Where are children likely to learn the self control, the ability to get along with others, and to make decisions on their own that dovetail with others? Not in preschools, nor with the prefabbed story-line toys lining the shelves. Research is showing that the wonderful, whimsical childhood years playing "make believe" are critical in developing skills like executive function that are so vital during the adolescent and adult years. (Sadly, I read of one preschool program that is having children complete paperwork before starting an activity trying to engineer this "play" thinking -- what fun is that?)

Legislation can come at parents from so many directions, including states extending the mandatory school age to younger and younger children, provisions considered by the United Nations, and even the health care reform bill here in the US that seek to extend government's reach into those precious preschool years.

Let kids be kids. And sometime in the near future, I promise to tie these thoughts into spectrum kids and their early, formative years.

What Makes A Homeschooling Hit?

I've long pondered the way a school activity can capture a child's mind -- or leave him staring out the window wishing school were done for the day.

Both my little guys have been on a train kick lately, so I tried to build yesterday's activity around a train Samuel could color, cut, and put together 3-D (with my help). He could not have been more bored. I could barely convince him to color it, much less cut it out. Come to think of it, reading was much more of a "chore" for him yesterday too.

Today, while we were reading, I came up with the idea of making a town by using black paper with either lines down the middle (for roads) or stripes on the outside for railroad tracks. Blocks became buildings. The long strips helped to distinguish rectangles from the square blocks, a math concept that Samuel has seen recently.

Well, the town is a huge hit with both the guys. I probably won't get much else done with them today!

What Do I Mean By "Spectrum Kid"?

My mother wasn't sure if I had explained "spectrum kid" well enough. I am enclosing part of a message I sent out to friends that helps to explain Samuel's situation:


It has been somewhat confusing because Samuel has received differing diagnoses. The easiest way to summarize is to say Samuel is having difficulties that fall on the high-functioning end of the autism spectrum, or as some professionals endearingly put it, he’s a “spectrum kid.”

He has plenty of mental capability, but his behavior can be extremely challenging. What may not seem like a big deal to you or me, can be a very big deal to Samuel – a change in schedule, choices that seem arbitrary, having a lot of people around, especially children, can greatly over-stimulate him.

I’m beginning to see that he needs to understand how things “work;” inconsistencies throw him. I’ve happened to have my hand on Samuel’s chest when he’s faced a seemingly minor change in schedule and his little heart just starts racing. The kid is highly stressed. If you have any phobias (like an unusual fear of heights, spiders, etc.), you might understand something of the stress Samuel faces. But imagine if you experience that level of anxiety every time you see a stop light (which can appear highly arbitrary to him), or if you have alternative routes to reach the same destination.

“Spectrum kids” will often find ways to stimulate themselves as a means of comfort that they can predict or control. Thankfully, we don’t have to deal with the head-banging or other injurious behaviors that are surprisingly common. Spelling was his “stim” of choice earlier this summer followed by repeating nonsense words now. (How many times can you say squamwich or spiz?)

Sunday

A wonderful day of rest!

All Blessings

I've been thinking today about how many people contribute to Samuel's life. Today my husband is watching both little guys, giving me a much needed time of spiritual refreshment. Tomorrow, Samuel will be in a Sunday school class taught by a retired elementary school teacher who has been a great encouragement to us and who has been able to offer valuable insights. We've had various assistance from the educational community, including including those who have taken a personal interest in Samuel.Then there are the friends who pray for him, share encouraging stories, and cheer us on. God has brought just the right people along at just the right time both for Samuel, for me, and for our family!

Something To Talk About

Here's my major learning for the week: bring on one "new" thing at a time. I'm thinking it might be helpful to get routines thoroughly established for each new activity, before adding anything else to the schooling schedule. I've talked before about being somewhat slow at getting up to "full curriculum" just as a matter of sanity in a homeschooling family, but with Samuel, I''m thinking it will be critical to move very slowly. He and I both had a pretty rough week.

Next week, he will start seeing his much adored Ms. Rowley. She is the marvelous speech teacher who has been working with Samuel since he was three, and I think much of his progress can be attributed to her work. During the summer, he knew that the our local pool would close at the end of the summer, and I tried to keep him happy by reminding him that he would be seeing Ms. Rowley in September.

Even this positive addition will bring about change. While Samuel is in speech, I volunteer in the school library adjacent to the speech office. This year, Baby U will be going with us, so I don't know how much help I'll be.  Samuel is likely to be confused by all of us walking over, even though we have done a trial walk together. Also, we will be going first thing in the morning, and he's always gone in the afternoons before.

Well, building on what I learned this week, the addition of speech will be all we try to do next week. I'm going to wait on the science that I'd like to get started.

What Do You Call This?

We have had some wonderful moments in this week, but for the most part, I'd have to say Samuel has been "off." If you're around a spectrum kid for any length of time, you know that some days are better than others.

I suspect he is reacting to what to him feels like a lack of predictability. Samuel has spent plenty of time in the water before, but never in the pool where he started swim lessons this week. (He expects to go play with Thomas the Tank when we go to the gym, not to go to this new pool!) He loves Handwriting Without Tears, but he hasn't seen it enough to understand how it "works." (Why can't we do Mat Man every day?) He loved the abacus, but dang, he's never seen one before!

We've been fiddling around with some of his school stuff all summer, but not enough for him to feel a routine. And life itself is so unpredictable -- Mom said we'd go to Costco and have a hotdog for lunch; now she's telling me that they don't have any. (The gizmo they use for heating them was broken.)

Math, No Problem!

After a rather difficult start to our homeschooling day (every question was answered with "squamwich!") we moved on to an exciting math lesson on the abacus.

First, a word of background. Working with Samuel's older brother Isaac, I found it helpful to introduce the opposite operation close in time to the principle operation. So addition and subtraction are taught almost simultaneously -- same with multiplication and division (in all its forms).

Today, after doing a few addition problems on the abacus, I turned it around and started showing Samuel subtraction. After he did a few correctly, I let him put up his own problem. He moved all 10 beads over, and I held my breath -- 0 is a pretty big concept, what's he going to do? It didn't slow him down at all. "Ten minus ten," I coached him through the math sentence, "equals zero!" he crowed.

The Better To Bite You With

We greeted the "official" start of the school year with a new behavior. Samuel started acting like he wanted to bite me! He's never done this before, and I'm not sure of its source. He opened his mouth wide and came at me like he was going to bite.

In all, this was a reminder of how crucial the first few years can be for teaching a child self discipline. As he goes into school, at home or in a classroom, the need for constant correction can greatly interfere with instruction. We've been working with Samuel from day one trying to teach him good behaviors, but it is so much more challenging for a spectrum kid. Now that we're trying to do more with school, this shortcoming is taking its toll. I feel like I spend so much time just trying to get him to sit quietly when appropriate, not making bunches of silly words, and now biting!!!

Holiday in a Homeschool

Holiday here in the US -- Labor Day. I tried to stitch together a few more pieces for our curriculum. That included buying a small tennis racket and a few balls. Now lets see if I can turn myself around enough to teach a lefty proper forehand and backhand strokes!

Yesterday I curled up with my beloved Samuel and listened to the Georgia Bulldog's game. And today is a day of rest!

Art, For What?

What's the value of art? With the older kids, I don't think we emphasized it enough. Sure, creativity is important and a good thing, but what educational value does it provide?

Plenty, we're discovering with Samuel. Since he has some difficulties with fine motor skills, all the cutting, positioning, drawing and painting help him master skills vital for handwriting, sports, and really anything that involves fine adjustments and eye-hand coordination.

Right now, he and Baby U are stamping away. Water colors are favorites and there's always the old standby: Crayons. Lots of newspapers and a willingness to put up with some mess provide the main ingredients.

I'm even discovering that some authors have their own websites and may include craft activities to support reading. Karma Wilson has teacher resources that are every bit as charming as her books. (A couple of our favorite books are listed in the resources section.

When Courts Say What Your Child May Believe

The popular media wants us to believe that schools provide a religion-neutral place where all reasonable people should send their children to be socialized. Recent trends here in the US provides a disturbing context for those assumptions.

An article in this morning's Washington Times describes a court case where a judge ordered a mother to send her Christian daughter to the public schools so the girl can consider other worldviews. In other words, the schools are not the religion-neutral place so often espoused, but a shopping center where children can pick and choose a philosophy apart from the guidance of parents.

What is particularly disturbing to me is that the mother was replaced by an appointed guardian when it came to the daughter's legal interests. When the mother wanted information about homeschooling presented as part of the case, this guardian is reported to have said, "I don't want to hear it. "It's all Christian-base."

If you are concerned that this is one of those sad cases where some disturbed mother is locking her child away in isolation, rest assured that it is not. Her homeschooling has enriched her talents to the point where even an opposing attorney in the case describes her as "brilliant." And the girl has surpassed the requirements for the local school system in subject matter and academic progress. She is also taking supplemental classes at school in Spanish, theater and PE and is involved in gymnasics and other sports.

As a mother in a homeschooling family that includes a spectrum kid, I am extremely upset at this precedent. "Special needs" children often receive closer scrutiny when homeschooled. This is a question of control -- and of the civil authority overstepping its bounds in forcing a family to accept a competing worldview.

This situation underscores the additional critical need to have strong families involved in homeschooling. The child in this case is the rope in a three-way tug-of-war between not only the state and the family, but between two parents who have split. No child should be put in such a position.

Too Close For Comfort

I have a sense of panic. My husband, a math teacher, is already back at work. Yesterday, our oldest son started attending a private school to give me time to work with Samuel and Baby U. Next Tuesday is the date we've chosen to start our homeschooling. In a few months, I'm sure we will settle into a workable routine, but right now the house, our school materials, and plans seem like a complete jumble.

Just about all our curricula is new to us, so I'll be able to do very little off the top of my head. That means, gulp, lesson planning! Plus, I'm trying to develop my own "Bible" for Samuel. I'd like for him to start each day reading a little to himself. But I don't want one of those Bible story books, I want the actual text. But he gets so distracted by the verse numbers, notes etc. So I'm trying to develop appealing pages that have the text, but none of the other distractions.

Most of my closest community has been told that I will be out of pocket this fall. But I probably should have assumed some planning time during the first of the school year, after my husband and son were out of the house. Now is the primary time I have to work on anything, and  its just too close to the "doing."

Mat Man Gets Us Ready For School

Say hello to "Mat Man." As we've been getting ready for the new school year, I introduced the kids to this awkward, but lovable, character made up by a blue mat and wooden pieces that will also be used to teach letter formations. "Mat Man has two eyes, two eyes, two eyes, Mat Man has ...." well, I've gone to sleep at night with that catchy little tune running through my head!

This year, we will be using Handwriting Without Tears. I say "we" because Samuel will be able to work with his beloved younger brother, "Baby U." This is a new program for our family. Its use is inspired, in part, because it was developed by an occupational therapist who has been able to anticipate the needs of a child who requires help with fine motor skills.

Our local school system uses an italics system that's supposed to lead more easily into cursive in the older grades. But a "ball and stick" system is much easier to master. I also love the way HWT incorporates letter recognition, the relationship of body parts, and the opportunity to use touch, sound, play and visual skills to learn letter formations.

Yes, Samuel is already reading, so letter recognition is no big issue for him, but an occupational therapist recommended that we not jump part way into this program, so we're covering the preschool materials, although I will likely move rapidly.

Visiting the website will give you the best overview of this program. Keep in mind, that many of the materials can be improvised at home -- we bought some craft foam and smiley face stickers for the blue mats. Any chalk will do as long as its broken into small pieces (which makes the child hold it correctly). Play dough is likely better than what comes with the program (what I saw was rather stiff and crumbly). A friend cut the letter pieces out of cardboard when she used the program with her kids. (With two boys we went for the wood pieces!)

I do like the HWT music CD, as do the boys! And the teacher and student books are essential. And we ordered the small slates when something I bought at a local craft store fell apart immediately. I also bought one of those magazine organizers to hold the various odds and ends.

On to a great school year. Long live Mat Man!

Why Is My Kid So Different?

Every child is different. So at what point is a child considered so different that he will need extra help in life? My sister-in-law, who teaches kindergarten, tells stories of having children start school -- with a clean bill of health -- that she realizes immediately are spectrum kids.

In our case, I began to think Samuel had challenges when he picked up a few words here and there, but at 18 months didn't really try to put them together. As he got a little older, he didn't engage in any back and forth conversational talking. A simple screening at the doctors office concluded that he had no problems, but my instincts told me otherwise.

What we eventually discovered, working through a screening process with the school system and through multiple assessments at Children's Hospital, is that Samuel is very bright, but autistic. His behavior is often the biggest challenge for us -- changes in routine can throw him into a complete emotional melt down. Lots of people (especially children who can be so unpredictable) and an unfamiliar place can completely overwhelm him. On the flip side, he seems to need a lot of light touch.

So, on one hand, Samuel communicates more like a three-year-old, sometimes acts like a child stuck in the "terrible twos" but is already reading and spelling. He has trouble gripping a pencil correctly, but is facinated by serifs, those tiny extra lines used in some typeset letters. Imagine very bad handwriting with lots of extra flourishes. He loves music and can spend hours trying to figure out how something mechanical works.

I am most grateful that Samuel is extremely engaging and seeks to express his love, especially to me. We don't have to deal with the so-common "zoned out" aspects of a spectrum kid. And my heart truly breaks for the moms who say they wished with all their hearts that they could be sure their child understood love. We've been spared that heartbreak, and I am so grateful!

Add-to for Monday

Samuel has just been "off" the last couple of days in a way that is different. We both seem to be bouncing off each other and I am really frustrated.

 I don't see school as "officially" starting until next week, but I've been introducing some tools and materials that will be new to him. He did really well with the Cuisenaire rods math today, although I can see it will be challenging to keep him from wanting to build towers with them. Then again, maybe we can come up with more of three-D way to use them. Anyone want to teach geometry to a kindergartner?

Read a Good Book (For Mom)

Try sitting down with a list of psychologists from your insurance company and trying to figure out what your child needs. You might be in that position right now if you have a child showing signs of autism (and you don't even know what to call it yet!). If you have no insurance -- or pursue a route not covered by your insurance -- you will have a more difficult and and potentially difficult financial road ahead.

I've been there! Some of my inspiration in starting this blog comes out of those experiences. Over the weekend, I started a "Resources" section to which I'll be adding books and tools we have found useful. Eventually, I hope to create a website specifically aimed at helping you find the diagnostic and information resources that will be helpful to you and your family.

Right now I'd like to mention a few books that are posted in Resources. First, let me make a proviso: within the "spectrum" community you will encounter strong opinions -- follow X approach or your child will be doomed for life; Y program is the only scripturally defensible approach to take; Z nutritional program is essential or you are poisoning your child. Your child, family, and community are unique. I am suggesting books that I find helpful, but each contains information that contradict the others. Enlist the help of your pediatrician, read, think, and follow your best judgment.

Laura Hendrickson, who wrote Finding your Child's Way on the Autism Spectrum has the medical and theological training to be able to offer solid advice. She also is a mother who has gone through the struggles of rearing a spectrum kid.

Cathy Steere, who wrote Too Wise to Be Mistaken, Too Good to Be Unkind has the reputation in the online community for being an excellent mother. She writes about her own struggles in finding help for her son and rearing him.

I'll be sure to add more to the Resources feature as we go along.

A wonderful day of rest ...

 "Let all things now living, a song of thanksgiving, to God the creator triumphantly raise; who fashioned and made us, protected and stayed us, who guides us and leads to the end of our days ..." Katherine K. Davis

Saturday and "When Mama Ain't Happy"

I'm going to try to post each day, but I won't be around tomorrow. So here's "Saturday."

Having a Spectrum Kid, even one as sweet as Samuel, can be pretty stressful to Mom. And as the old saying goes, when Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody's happy!

Looking forward to something is a big deal, so stress isn't going on and on to the horizon. I can really enjoy anticipating a time, written into the calendar, to either get out with my husband or to get away by myself.

My husband is trying to make his schedule more predictable -- so I can look forward to having more support and another "big person" for conversation at a specific time later in the day. And we've been planning for me to go out by myself tomorrow. So Saturday, instead of being here to blog, I will be wandering some beautiful back roads. Road trip!!!!!

Hope you have a great weekend too!

About Schedules and Hissy Fits

We can't go to the community pool today. I launched into a discussion with Samuel about how a tropical weather system will bring rain and he concluded, "When the sun goes up we'll watch at home."

I digress; I was going to talk about schedules.

From our previous almost 10 years of homeschooling, I know schedules usually end up as an amusing memento by October. That doesn't mean schedules are useless; they can help you figure out how much time is needed for the subjects and for the household routine. But what we have found, is that it works better to stagger the start of the school year with a subject or two in the beginning until we're up to speed -- and when we're up to speed a kind of natural schedule falls into place.

So what does all this have to do with teaching a Spectrum Kid in particular? My dilemma with Samuel is that he loves to understand how things "work." Once that's in place, he can be golden. Take our much-missed trip to the pool today. It's taken most of the summer, but we've finally worked out a routine that enables him to leave the pool without a spectacular, hissy-fit meltdown. Putting certain transitions into place (in a few minutes when the lifeguard blows his whistle for adult swim, we'll go home) he now goes home cheerfully.

I think one of the keys for this school year will be to develop those transitions so he finds his school day "workable" and predictable. Right now, I can't even imagine what they will be.

Meet Samuel

Samuel is a bright kid who believes he can fly if he holds two feathers. I'm his Mom, and it is my job to help him reach all that God has for him. This school year will be his first "formal" homeschooling year --  "formal" because education started for both of us the moment the doctor handed him to me six years ago.

As we got to know each other, I noticed it took him a long time to learn how to communicate. Like so many mothers before me, I started asking doctors, educators, other parents, anyone who could help me know what was going on. In the last few years, "autism spectrum" began to come into focus.

My little boy already knows how to read and is mad for spelling and numbers. So where will this year take us? Come along for the ride!