Why Is My Kid So Different?

Every child is different. So at what point is a child considered so different that he will need extra help in life? My sister-in-law, who teaches kindergarten, tells stories of having children start school -- with a clean bill of health -- that she realizes immediately are spectrum kids.

In our case, I began to think Samuel had challenges when he picked up a few words here and there, but at 18 months didn't really try to put them together. As he got a little older, he didn't engage in any back and forth conversational talking. A simple screening at the doctors office concluded that he had no problems, but my instincts told me otherwise.

What we eventually discovered, working through a screening process with the school system and through multiple assessments at Children's Hospital, is that Samuel is very bright, but autistic. His behavior is often the biggest challenge for us -- changes in routine can throw him into a complete emotional melt down. Lots of people (especially children who can be so unpredictable) and an unfamiliar place can completely overwhelm him. On the flip side, he seems to need a lot of light touch.

So, on one hand, Samuel communicates more like a three-year-old, sometimes acts like a child stuck in the "terrible twos" but is already reading and spelling. He has trouble gripping a pencil correctly, but is facinated by serifs, those tiny extra lines used in some typeset letters. Imagine very bad handwriting with lots of extra flourishes. He loves music and can spend hours trying to figure out how something mechanical works.

I am most grateful that Samuel is extremely engaging and seeks to express his love, especially to me. We don't have to deal with the so-common "zoned out" aspects of a spectrum kid. And my heart truly breaks for the moms who say they wished with all their hearts that they could be sure their child understood love. We've been spared that heartbreak, and I am so grateful!