A Mama's Instinct

Last night I ran my fingers over that impossibly soft, almost transparent hair on the back of Samuel's neck. It reminded me of six years ago when I was caring for a tiny baby. Samuel, who was supposed to be born in late September, came along in August.  He was so tiny, down to just five pounds when he went to the doctor for his first "well baby" visit a week later. The cartilage in his ears hadn't fully formed, so he had tiny, silky flaps instead. Fine gold hair covered much more of his body than what would be expected on a full-term baby.

Did I realize then that he would later be considered a spectrum kid? No, he was just my perfect little baby. But I can see where some of my instincts were already bubbling. I had read that babies nurse better if their backs and limbs are gently messaged. He loved it! So did I, and it became an important part of our routine. Now I know from research that touch is incredibly important for Samuel, and may have contributed greatly to his early interaction with me, body awareness, and other skills.

He ended up sleeping with me for a while after we both discovered that we got more rest that way. Such a small baby needed to nurse so often and it seemed like he slept longer with me. Although concerned about the warnings I read against this practice, I followed my instincts and removed all extra pillows and the comforter from our bed and taught myself to sleep on my back with Samuel nestled face out close to my shoulders.

Now I wonder if this promoted the interaction between us. Surely my heartbeat and warmth was a comfort to a child that may have already been experiencing the stress of autism. And when he started showing signs of sleep apnea, he was right there with me -- I knew he wasn't breathing for stretches of time and he ended up at the hospital.

I write this in part to give more background to Samuel's story. I also think that a mother's instincts can be a valuable guide -- nothing outlandish mind you, but sensible nurturing, trying to respond to your child.