Tuesday, September 29

A Word In The Hand ...

My baby who rarely holds a pencil correctly knows how to write (and read) in cursive???

OK, I have to back up for this to make any sense. First, Samuel has had some difficulty with his fine motor skills. A teacher, occupational therapist, and I have tried different strategies to teach Samuel the routine early childhood cutting, crayoning (is that really a verb?) and drawing skills. He still hasn't settled on any particular grip, but can be coaxed into the proper "tripod" grip if given a short pencil with one of those little rubber grips.

About a year ago, Samuel discovered serifs, those little extra lines used in most text type to help hold the eye on the line while reading. He'd write large, misshaped letters -- and carefully inscribe the serifs on every letter that could possibly have them.

Right now, Samuel "should" be writing simple, all upper case letters. I had seen signs that Samuel was reading cursive and was trying to write that way, but had been assuming that he was essentially drawing the shapes he was seeing. Yesterday, while working on a thank-you card, he insisted on restarting the "thank you" that I was helping him print. He went further down the page and wrote it in cursive. Then added his own note "nice" although the latter was virtually unreadable.

We have a great program for writing, Handwriting Without Tears. Incorporating this wild leap ahead with developing the basic skills he needs will be very challenging.

Monday, September 28

Love In A Little Blue Car

A little toy matchbox car may not seem like much, unless it's  meant as encouragement to a car-crazy boy.  "Wheel-wheel" came out of Samuel's mouth long before he knew many other words. A year or so later, he was devastated  when he realized that the big wheels on the "car" shopping carts are nothing but paint.  His first love prompted his first meltdown.

Yesterday, as we prepared to leave church, an older woman came up and handed Samuel a little blue car. Mrs A. said she had promised it to him because he had been so good during worship services. After his first week seating quietly up front, she'd asked Samuel what color car he wanted, and he declared: "blue." I wasn't even aware of this conversation, but this dear woman knew exactly what pleased Samuel and went out of her way to make sure the little gift was exactly right.

One day, Lord willing, he'll reach the point where sitting through church will be no big deal. Maybe he'll have his own big car to clean and polish and drive proudly down the street. But for this sunny Monday, we have one small boy, one small car, and one encouraged Mama ...

Sunday, September 27

A quiet Sunday

I woke up from a lovely little nap and realized with a start that nothing had been posted today. Oh yes, but I was napping because it was Sunday! After morning services, we had a little family get together for my husband's birthday and ate the carrot cake that the boys helped me make. In a little while, I'll go back to be with our congregation ...

Saturday, September 26

... realized today that Samuel has "lost" a lot of his potty training. Sigh. Perhaps it's all the changes with the start of the school year?

Friday, September 25

On Reading

About 20 years before the modern homeschooling movement started here in the US, my mother taught my sisters and me to read. She had been concerned by the late 1950s reports showing public school children having difficulty in this area. She figured she could do better and taught each of us phonics before we started school.

Perhaps long-forgotten pleasantries still fill my mind from this experience; I have found it a delight to teach reading. With our oldest son, Isaac, I loved sitting with him, taking turns reading -- sometimes I would have him read an easier selection, and I'd read something more challenging to him. In either case, I'd make sure he noticed whatever concept we were learning, short A, silent E, and so forth. He did great, but needed some encouragement in sounding words out for himself. I tried to make a big deal out of "our secret code" of reading and he  loved that idea.

Samuel seems like he has been driven to read from the start. When he started differentiating shapes, I figured letters would not be much of a stretch. Sure enough, he quickly learned his letters and loved pointing to them if we walked past a sign. I made up a silly song to help him learn the letter/sound associations and soon he was doing them on his own. "A is for apple, B is for ball, C is for ..."

Late last school year, he read his first little book and seemed fascinated by spelling. With almost no prompting on my part, he started trying to remember how to spell just about any word he learned to read; Now he constantly surprises me with the words he recognizes and spells. (I must add here, that he has insisted on having the closed captioning for any video he watches. I'm sure this greatly contributed to both his reading and spelling.)

Here's the catch: he doesn't always know the mechanics behind his reading. I'm concerned that if he ever backtracks (a phenomenon I've noticed in his development) if he doesn't know principles (i.e., the long vowels, short vowels, when and why some are long and short and so forth), he may have trouble continuing with his learning. He's also so driven to understand how things work, I'm concerned he might get very frustrated if he doesn't someday recognize the framework.

Sigh. I'm trying to incorporate some of these phonics basics with our day-to-day reading in small doses so he doesn't get bored. I'm hoping he'll have the fun of reading while getting the nitty gritty at the same time. Always an adventure ...

Thursday, September 24

Statistically What?

I feel like curling up and crying. Seeing information written about Samuel in fine clinical language upsets me. This is so, I suppose, because diagnostic language can never capture my precious boy. (Although the occupational therapist tried:  "Samuel is a sweet and happy ...boy. He immediately greeted the evaluator ...") An evaluation also puts in black and white that hey, there's a problem here. Each day, I am concentrating so hard on what he can do that it is startling to have someone tell me he has limitations.

The other difficulty is that I know something about statistics in a clinical setting. Think of a bell shape with a very narrow lip on either side. Samuel is in that thin, narrow lip edge (or statistically speaking at the second  percentile) in his fine and gross motor skills. Some of the fine skill difficulties I see in his handwriting and coloring. And I understand that difficulties in controlling the body makes it difficult, if not impossible, to make fine movements with the hands.

But it's hard to see my boy in these statistics, even if this is a valued second opinion. It's hard to see the little guy climbing and leaping off a low wall today, chasing around with other little kids, wrestling with his little brother ... Quite frankly, I would expect him to look more limited given these statistics..

OK, the practical side of me comes out now. I can arrange for occupational therapy sessions through an excellent local facility. (Sigh, but that adds more rush to a schedule for a child that craves orderliness and predictability.) We can continue with Samuel's swim lessons; he started these lessons a few weeks ago when I wanted to build on the wonderful exercise he was getting by playing in the pool this summer. And I can pray to the God who made him and ask for His guidance and care for my precious boy. (His Mama too!)

Wednesday, September 23

A Mama's Instinct

Last night I ran my fingers over that impossibly soft, almost transparent hair on the back of Samuel's neck. It reminded me of six years ago when I was caring for a tiny baby. Samuel, who was supposed to be born in late September, came along in August.  He was so tiny, down to just five pounds when he went to the doctor for his first "well baby" visit a week later. The cartilage in his ears hadn't fully formed, so he had tiny, silky flaps instead. Fine gold hair covered much more of his body than what would be expected on a full-term baby.

Did I realize then that he would later be considered a spectrum kid? No, he was just my perfect little baby. But I can see where some of my instincts were already bubbling. I had read that babies nurse better if their backs and limbs are gently messaged. He loved it! So did I, and it became an important part of our routine. Now I know from research that touch is incredibly important for Samuel, and may have contributed greatly to his early interaction with me, body awareness, and other skills.

He ended up sleeping with me for a while after we both discovered that we got more rest that way. Such a small baby needed to nurse so often and it seemed like he slept longer with me. Although concerned about the warnings I read against this practice, I followed my instincts and removed all extra pillows and the comforter from our bed and taught myself to sleep on my back with Samuel nestled face out close to my shoulders.

Now I wonder if this promoted the interaction between us. Surely my heartbeat and warmth was a comfort to a child that may have already been experiencing the stress of autism. And when he started showing signs of sleep apnea, he was right there with me -- I knew he wasn't breathing for stretches of time and he ended up at the hospital.

I write this in part to give more background to Samuel's story. I also think that a mother's instincts can be a valuable guide -- nothing outlandish mind you, but sensible nurturing, trying to respond to your child.

Tuesday, September 22

Productive By Doing Little?

Illness and homeschool makes an interesting mix. Last night, when Samuel started getting sick to his stomach, I was grateful we had taken the precaution to keep him away from other kids due to a cough. Although we did all of his academic subjects yesterday, he missed his speech session and swimming lesson and today we've done very little school.

I had discovered that he and his little brother really enjoyed some documentaries about wild horses. By watching them today, we gave Samuel the opportunity to think about a story line. We had been warned that spectrum kids can be really good at "decoding" or figuring out how to put the letter sounds together into words; but they can have trouble taking those letters and understanding a meaningful piece of information or story. While we read, I'm frequently asking him to recount parts of the story and to try to anticipate what will come next. With the horse documentaries, I could ask, "do you think we'll see the the foals next?" Or, "do you think the fire will scare the horses?"

This reminds me of years ago when I needed to have back surgery. Our oldest, Abigail, was able to work  independently on her high school studies, but I had to be creative to keep her younger sister Esther engaged. So we did a unit on Shakespeare, and while I was recovering from surgery, Esther, my mother, and I watched many movies with classical presentations of Shakespeare. For a long time after that, Esther would pick up Shakespeare just for fun!

Part of me feels like, we "should" be doing so much more today. Another part reminds me that sometimes these "down" days can be quite productive after all. Hmm, come to think of it, he's looking over my shoulder trying to "decode" even as I write this!

Monday, September 21

Genetics Anyone?

Wanna explain cell genetics to a six year old (of any stripe)? Especially when a younger brother is part of the lesson? We were reading I Know How My Cells Make Me Grow when we strayed into genetics. I tried to explain that God puts little messages into each cell so it knows how to make a new tiny piece of bone that is uniquely Samuel and a new little piece of skin that is uniquely Mommy.

"You know what a message is -- it's like when Grandpaw sent you a postcard with the ship on it." I have no idea if Samuel understood the message part, but he and Baby U both seemed fascinated by the diagrams of muscle cells and skin cells.

This has been one of the more fascinating sides of homeschooling for me. It's one thing to know a subject well enough to engage in normal adult conversation; but it seems like you need even more understanding to translate that information into the simple terms needed to explain it to a child. Big brother Isaac had already taught me that I need to keep everything as concrete as possible and to give a boy something he can touch and hold whenever possible.

With Samuel, the latter seems even more important. He has one advantage though: he is so driven to understand how something works he is likely to watch, manipulate, or play with something for a while just to meet that ingrained curiosity. Yes, uniquely Samuel ...

Sunday, September 20

Sunday

A day of rest -- a little different because we have some kind of cold/virus/bronchitis in the house.

Saturday, September 19

Help From A Cyberfriend

** Note -- sorry I did not acknowledge some of your very kind comments earlier! **

In a recent comment, someone mentioned "getting inside" Samuel's head. For the last six weeks or so, I've had an additional resource that has enabled me to feel like I am doing just that.

I won't mention any names here because I want to respect RK's privacy, but I have been communicating with a fella that has grown up with challenges similar to Samuel's. We "met" through another forum, and in one post, he mentioned autism spectrum. I quickly asked if he would mind answering questions for me regarding Samuel.

What a huge blessing he is! I know I'm not talking to Samuel -- that RK is a unique individual -- but it feels like I am finally able to discover what Samuel sees and feels. Even the best of experts has never walked around in Samuel's shoes.

Having Samuel sit in the front of the church last week was a huge insight: he had far less to distract him and was more relaxed than I've ever seen him in a large group setting. I would never have made a connection between his seemingly natural mechanical abilities and a very real need to understand how everything around him works -- whether it is the toy car or the rules for behaving in a library. Knowing that Samuel may look distracted -- but is really paying attention in his own way -- has been valuable for teaching him.

Thank you RK; and may the blessing you've been to Samuel and me be returned many times over!

Friday, September 18

On Praise

We have been puzzled by Samuel's assertions that he is "a bad boy." He has been saying this for the past month or so anytime we correct him. This seemed odd because it's not a phrase we use. We are careful to identify the problem behavior, but we don't scold him ad hominem.

Peeling eggs today, it suddenly dawned on me what is happening. From early on, when he or his younger brother has done the right thing, we've jumped in with praise: "that's my good boy," hoping that it would train him regarding what is good and right.

Well Samuel is a smart kid. If he can be a "good boy," than the opposite is also possible: he can be a "bad boy;" and, by golly, it is sometimes easier to just be a bad boy! Something we thought had been going well, turns around and bites us!

Thursday, September 17

On Chocolate and Learning

My house is filled with that most wonderful of smells, chocolate! We read Karma Wilson's Whopper Cake today and then followed the recipe in the very back of the book. The "Whopper" comes from the main character in the story needing the back of a pickup truck to mix a huge cake for his wife's birthday. Now, our cake fit in an ordinary 9 by 13-inch pan, but gave lots of opportunities for the boys to spoon and mix and bake.



We have one of those Height Right chairs so Samuel can sit and write properly at a grown-up table. This baking exercise proved that the chair is terrific for helping in the kitchen. Both boys could stand on the bottom platform and peer into the pans and bowls.(Although Baby U sometime preferred the "seat" level.) I measured  the ingredients ahead of time, showing them the amounts as we went along. I also told them the basic principles involved in mixing and baking a cake. ("Taste how the buttermilk is sour; it may seem funny in a chocolate cake but it helps to make a cake tender and poofy.")

Later, I went back and reinforced some of the principles in measuring liquids. I used the plainest of my 4-cup liquid measures to cut down on confusing information. I was pleasantly surprised to see Samuel take the one-half cup measures in stride. We were filling from one cup level to the next, and Samuel started correctly reading out the half measures as we passed them: " three-and-a-half cups," and so forth. Wow!

Wednesday, September 16

Learn In The Sandbox

Samuel, at age 6, is not that aware of politics. So perhaps writing about political issues runs amok with the premise of this blog. I am concerned, though, about the gathering pressure here in the US to formalize instruction for children younger than six!

According the ideas in the news during the last week or so, too few people are available to serve in the military due to educational, physical and even legal deficiencies. So, according to these stories, we need to increase spending on preschool education.

Where are children likely to learn the self control, the ability to get along with others, and to make decisions on their own that dovetail with others? Not in preschools, nor with the prefabbed story-line toys lining the shelves. Research is showing that the wonderful, whimsical childhood years playing "make believe" are critical in developing skills like executive function that are so vital during the adolescent and adult years. (Sadly, I read of one preschool program that is having children complete paperwork before starting an activity trying to engineer this "play" thinking -- what fun is that?)

Legislation can come at parents from so many directions, including states extending the mandatory school age to younger and younger children, provisions considered by the United Nations, and even the health care reform bill here in the US that seek to extend government's reach into those precious preschool years.

Let kids be kids. And sometime in the near future, I promise to tie these thoughts into spectrum kids and their early, formative years.

Tuesday, September 15

What Makes A Homeschooling Hit?

I've long pondered the way a school activity can capture a child's mind -- or leave him staring out the window wishing school were done for the day.

Both my little guys have been on a train kick lately, so I tried to build yesterday's activity around a train Samuel could color, cut, and put together 3-D (with my help). He could not have been more bored. I could barely convince him to color it, much less cut it out. Come to think of it, reading was much more of a "chore" for him yesterday too.

Today, while we were reading, I came up with the idea of making a town by using black paper with either lines down the middle (for roads) or stripes on the outside for railroad tracks. Blocks became buildings. The long strips helped to distinguish rectangles from the square blocks, a math concept that Samuel has seen recently.

Well, the town is a huge hit with both the guys. I probably won't get much else done with them today!

Monday, September 14

What Do I Mean By "Spectrum Kid"?

My mother wasn't sure if I had explained "spectrum kid" well enough. I am enclosing part of a message I sent out to friends that helps to explain Samuel's situation:


It has been somewhat confusing because Samuel has received differing diagnoses. The easiest way to summarize is to say Samuel is having difficulties that fall on the high-functioning end of the autism spectrum, or as some professionals endearingly put it, he’s a “spectrum kid.”

He has plenty of mental capability, but his behavior can be extremely challenging. What may not seem like a big deal to you or me, can be a very big deal to Samuel – a change in schedule, choices that seem arbitrary, having a lot of people around, especially children, can greatly over-stimulate him.

I’m beginning to see that he needs to understand how things “work;” inconsistencies throw him. I’ve happened to have my hand on Samuel’s chest when he’s faced a seemingly minor change in schedule and his little heart just starts racing. The kid is highly stressed. If you have any phobias (like an unusual fear of heights, spiders, etc.), you might understand something of the stress Samuel faces. But imagine if you experience that level of anxiety every time you see a stop light (which can appear highly arbitrary to him), or if you have alternative routes to reach the same destination.

“Spectrum kids” will often find ways to stimulate themselves as a means of comfort that they can predict or control. Thankfully, we don’t have to deal with the head-banging or other injurious behaviors that are surprisingly common. Spelling was his “stim” of choice earlier this summer followed by repeating nonsense words now. (How many times can you say squamwich or spiz?)

Saturday, September 12

All Blessings

I've been thinking today about how many people contribute to Samuel's life. Today my husband is watching both little guys, giving me a much needed time of spiritual refreshment. Tomorrow, Samuel will be in a Sunday school class taught by a retired elementary school teacher who has been a great encouragement to us and who has been able to offer valuable insights. We've had various assistance from the educational community, including including those who have taken a personal interest in Samuel.Then there are the friends who pray for him, share encouraging stories, and cheer us on. God has brought just the right people along at just the right time both for Samuel, for me, and for our family!

Friday, September 11

Something To Talk About

Here's my major learning for the week: bring on one "new" thing at a time. I'm thinking it might be helpful to get routines thoroughly established for each new activity, before adding anything else to the schooling schedule. I've talked before about being somewhat slow at getting up to "full curriculum" just as a matter of sanity in a homeschooling family, but with Samuel, I''m thinking it will be critical to move very slowly. He and I both had a pretty rough week.

Next week, he will start seeing his much adored Ms. Rowley. She is the marvelous speech teacher who has been working with Samuel since he was three, and I think much of his progress can be attributed to her work. During the summer, he knew that the our local pool would close at the end of the summer, and I tried to keep him happy by reminding him that he would be seeing Ms. Rowley in September.

Even this positive addition will bring about change. While Samuel is in speech, I volunteer in the school library adjacent to the speech office. This year, Baby U will be going with us, so I don't know how much help I'll be.  Samuel is likely to be confused by all of us walking over, even though we have done a trial walk together. Also, we will be going first thing in the morning, and he's always gone in the afternoons before.

Well, building on what I learned this week, the addition of speech will be all we try to do next week. I'm going to wait on the science that I'd like to get started.

Thursday, September 10

What Do You Call This?

We have had some wonderful moments in this week, but for the most part, I'd have to say Samuel has been "off." If you're around a spectrum kid for any length of time, you know that some days are better than others.

I suspect he is reacting to what to him feels like a lack of predictability. Samuel has spent plenty of time in the water before, but never in the pool where he started swim lessons this week. (He expects to go play with Thomas the Tank when we go to the gym, not to go to this new pool!) He loves Handwriting Without Tears, but he hasn't seen it enough to understand how it "works." (Why can't we do Mat Man every day?) He loved the abacus, but dang, he's never seen one before!

We've been fiddling around with some of his school stuff all summer, but not enough for him to feel a routine. And life itself is so unpredictable -- Mom said we'd go to Costco and have a hotdog for lunch; now she's telling me that they don't have any. (The gizmo they use for heating them was broken.)

Wednesday, September 9

Math, No Problem!

After a rather difficult start to our homeschooling day (every question was answered with "squamwich!") we moved on to an exciting math lesson on the abacus.

First, a word of background. Working with Samuel's older brother Isaac, I found it helpful to introduce the opposite operation close in time to the principle operation. So addition and subtraction are taught almost simultaneously -- same with multiplication and division (in all its forms).

Today, after doing a few addition problems on the abacus, I turned it around and started showing Samuel subtraction. After he did a few correctly, I let him put up his own problem. He moved all 10 beads over, and I held my breath -- 0 is a pretty big concept, what's he going to do? It didn't slow him down at all. "Ten minus ten," I coached him through the math sentence, "equals zero!" he crowed.

Tuesday, September 8

The Better To Bite You With

We greeted the "official" start of the school year with a new behavior. Samuel started acting like he wanted to bite me! He's never done this before, and I'm not sure of its source. He opened his mouth wide and came at me like he was going to bite.

In all, this was a reminder of how crucial the first few years can be for teaching a child self discipline. As he goes into school, at home or in a classroom, the need for constant correction can greatly interfere with instruction. We've been working with Samuel from day one trying to teach him good behaviors, but it is so much more challenging for a spectrum kid. Now that we're trying to do more with school, this shortcoming is taking its toll. I feel like I spend so much time just trying to get him to sit quietly when appropriate, not making bunches of silly words, and now biting!!!

Monday, September 7

Holiday in a Homeschool

Holiday here in the US -- Labor Day. I tried to stitch together a few more pieces for our curriculum. That included buying a small tennis racket and a few balls. Now lets see if I can turn myself around enough to teach a lefty proper forehand and backhand strokes!

Sunday, September 6

Yesterday I curled up with my beloved Samuel and listened to the Georgia Bulldog's game. And today is a day of rest!

Saturday, September 5

Art, For What?

What's the value of art? With the older kids, I don't think we emphasized it enough. Sure, creativity is important and a good thing, but what educational value does it provide?

Plenty, we're discovering with Samuel. Since he has some difficulties with fine motor skills, all the cutting, positioning, drawing and painting help him master skills vital for handwriting, sports, and really anything that involves fine adjustments and eye-hand coordination.

Right now, he and Baby U are stamping away. Water colors are favorites and there's always the old standby: Crayons. Lots of newspapers and a willingness to put up with some mess provide the main ingredients.

I'm even discovering that some authors have their own websites and may include craft activities to support reading. Karma Wilson has teacher resources that are every bit as charming as her books. (A couple of our favorite books are listed in the resources section.

Friday, September 4

When Courts Say What Your Child May Believe

The popular media wants us to believe that schools provide a religion-neutral place where all reasonable people should send their children to be socialized. Recent trends here in the US provides a disturbing context for those assumptions.

An article in this morning's Washington Times describes a court case where a judge ordered a mother to send her Christian daughter to the public schools so the girl can consider other worldviews. In other words, the schools are not the religion-neutral place so often espoused, but a shopping center where children can pick and choose a philosophy apart from the guidance of parents.

What is particularly disturbing to me is that the mother was replaced by an appointed guardian when it came to the daughter's legal interests. When the mother wanted information about homeschooling presented as part of the case, this guardian is reported to have said, "I don't want to hear it. "It's all Christian-base."

If you are concerned that this is one of those sad cases where some disturbed mother is locking her child away in isolation, rest assured that it is not. Her homeschooling has enriched her talents to the point where even an opposing attorney in the case describes her as "brilliant." And the girl has surpassed the requirements for the local school system in subject matter and academic progress. She is also taking supplemental classes at school in Spanish, theater and PE and is involved in gymnasics and other sports.

As a mother in a homeschooling family that includes a spectrum kid, I am extremely upset at this precedent. "Special needs" children often receive closer scrutiny when homeschooled. This is a question of control -- and of the civil authority overstepping its bounds in forcing a family to accept a competing worldview.

This situation underscores the additional critical need to have strong families involved in homeschooling. The child in this case is the rope in a three-way tug-of-war between not only the state and the family, but between two parents who have split. No child should be put in such a position.

Thursday, September 3

Too Close For Comfort

I have a sense of panic. My husband, a math teacher, is already back at work. Yesterday, our oldest son started attending a private school to give me time to work with Samuel and Baby U. Next Tuesday is the date we've chosen to start our homeschooling. In a few months, I'm sure we will settle into a workable routine, but right now the house, our school materials, and plans seem like a complete jumble.

Just about all our curricula is new to us, so I'll be able to do very little off the top of my head. That means, gulp, lesson planning! Plus, I'm trying to develop my own "Bible" for Samuel. I'd like for him to start each day reading a little to himself. But I don't want one of those Bible story books, I want the actual text. But he gets so distracted by the verse numbers, notes etc. So I'm trying to develop appealing pages that have the text, but none of the other distractions.

Most of my closest community has been told that I will be out of pocket this fall. But I probably should have assumed some planning time during the first of the school year, after my husband and son were out of the house. Now is the primary time I have to work on anything, and  its just too close to the "doing."

Wednesday, September 2

Mat Man Gets Us Ready For School

Say hello to "Mat Man." As we've been getting ready for the new school year, I introduced the kids to this awkward, but lovable, character made up by a blue mat and wooden pieces that will also be used to teach letter formations. "Mat Man has two eyes, two eyes, two eyes, Mat Man has ...." well, I've gone to sleep at night with that catchy little tune running through my head!

This year, we will be using Handwriting Without Tears. I say "we" because Samuel will be able to work with his beloved younger brother, "Baby U." This is a new program for our family. Its use is inspired, in part, because it was developed by an occupational therapist who has been able to anticipate the needs of a child who requires help with fine motor skills.

Our local school system uses an italics system that's supposed to lead more easily into cursive in the older grades. But a "ball and stick" system is much easier to master. I also love the way HWT incorporates letter recognition, the relationship of body parts, and the opportunity to use touch, sound, play and visual skills to learn letter formations.

Yes, Samuel is already reading, so letter recognition is no big issue for him, but an occupational therapist recommended that we not jump part way into this program, so we're covering the preschool materials, although I will likely move rapidly.

Visiting the website will give you the best overview of this program. Keep in mind, that many of the materials can be improvised at home -- we bought some craft foam and smiley face stickers for the blue mats. Any chalk will do as long as its broken into small pieces (which makes the child hold it correctly). Play dough is likely better than what comes with the program (what I saw was rather stiff and crumbly). A friend cut the letter pieces out of cardboard when she used the program with her kids. (With two boys we went for the wood pieces!)

I do like the HWT music CD, as do the boys! And the teacher and student books are essential. And we ordered the small slates when something I bought at a local craft store fell apart immediately. I also bought one of those magazine organizers to hold the various odds and ends.

On to a great school year. Long live Mat Man!

Tuesday, September 1

Why Is My Kid So Different?

Every child is different. So at what point is a child considered so different that he will need extra help in life? My sister-in-law, who teaches kindergarten, tells stories of having children start school -- with a clean bill of health -- that she realizes immediately are spectrum kids.

In our case, I began to think Samuel had challenges when he picked up a few words here and there, but at 18 months didn't really try to put them together. As he got a little older, he didn't engage in any back and forth conversational talking. A simple screening at the doctors office concluded that he had no problems, but my instincts told me otherwise.

What we eventually discovered, working through a screening process with the school system and through multiple assessments at Children's Hospital, is that Samuel is very bright, but autistic. His behavior is often the biggest challenge for us -- changes in routine can throw him into a complete emotional melt down. Lots of people (especially children who can be so unpredictable) and an unfamiliar place can completely overwhelm him. On the flip side, he seems to need a lot of light touch.

So, on one hand, Samuel communicates more like a three-year-old, sometimes acts like a child stuck in the "terrible twos" but is already reading and spelling. He has trouble gripping a pencil correctly, but is facinated by serifs, those tiny extra lines used in some typeset letters. Imagine very bad handwriting with lots of extra flourishes. He loves music and can spend hours trying to figure out how something mechanical works.

I am most grateful that Samuel is extremely engaging and seeks to express his love, especially to me. We don't have to deal with the so-common "zoned out" aspects of a spectrum kid. And my heart truly breaks for the moms who say they wished with all their hearts that they could be sure their child understood love. We've been spared that heartbreak, and I am so grateful!